A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a 43 yr old man for almost a year now. Since our first sexual encounter I realize he has some mild ED. I notice that while going down on me he never has an erection. My question- is this related to the ED or is my BF just not turned on by oral sex? He has a difficult time climaxing from Bj's as well....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): There is nothing wrong with his not being erect while giving oral sex! He is concentrating on doing a good job for you and is distracted from his own pleasure. Let him finish and then return the favor by giving him oral sex.Since he is 43 is E.D. is likely to be not too bad. With medication he probably (but not necessarily) can have any kind of sex he wants. Some men (including myself) are a bit older and even after taking Cialis or Viagra and after getting a Testosterone shot each month, we are still too weak for intercourse. If I try intercourse I am just not hard enough and it hurts. There is no way I can give a woman an orgasm through intercourse.For men like myself, oral sex is a godsend. I do not have to penetrate and push against resistance. Instead my wife closes her soft lips around me and brings me wonderful pleasure. She makes me feel wonderful, proud and cherished. In return I have learned how to give her Swedish massage and do so most evenings. Oral sex is a wonderful part of our lives!
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (17 June 2010):
 It's not unusual for a man to not be as turned on while giving oral as when receiving it.(Hey, nevermind what the scriptures say, it's usually better to receive than to give).
If he does cum thru you giving him a BJ you don't have anything to worry about. Calling it ED is exaggerating the extent of the problem.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Aging guys with plumbing issues may need more direct stimulation to maintain an erection. The fact that he doesn't keep one while going down on you does *not* necessarily mean he isn't turned on. For most guys, if you enjoy receiving oral (and let him know) he almost certainly enjoys giving.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 June 2010):
 You should ask him if he enjoys it and/or what you can do better for when you give him oral. Some guys just don't really like doing oral but do it anyways to please their woman. I wouldn't worry if he's not completely turned on to the point of being hard. He's still doing it, isn't it? As long as he acts enthusiastic it doesn't matter if his penis is in on it.
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