A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i am a 25 year old male and been with my girlfriend for 1 year 6 months. we was going good until while i was away at work for 3 weeks, found out that she had a party at her mates house and met a guy and they talked all night. i found this out by a friend and not by her. wen i asked her about it she lied and lied until she told me but swore down nothing happened. i stupily belived her and then about 3 months later while i was working away over night, she went out then went back to her's and she told me she had some girly fun with her mate while her boyfriend watch. it wasnt until about 4 weeks ago that she told me that he joined in now i am really stuck in what i shud do. she seems really sorry about it but wen i wanna talk about it she says she just wants to forget about it happening. but i need to know why she done it. if it was somthing to do with our relationship that drove her to it and wanna get past but i dont know were to start.[Mod note: punctuation added by mod to make the post easier to read.]
View related questions:
at work, infidelity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): You can't make this relationship work alone.
It can't work if she is cheating. The cheating won't stop if she doesn't even want to try to deal with it.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Unfortunately you do need to know details even if your girlfriend want to forget about it. In order for you to put closure on the infidelity topic you need to know why she cheated. If she tries to change the subject don't allow her to because confronting the situation is going to be the only way your relationship can have a chance to survive.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 June 2010):
 I don't think it's possible to forgive someone who not only cheated on you, but lied. If she had come clean about it, I'd say it might be worth another shot. But since she lied even once confronted, I think you're better off without her. She'll probably continue to cheat and lie if you stay with her. Not all women are like this, you'll find a good one.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ziggywp  +, writes (18 June 2010):
You need to dump her. As hard or wrong as it feels... it's the best decision to make. Based on what you've said, your gf is deceitful and not faithful. What if theres other occasions that you don't know about. If you take her back she's going to think that she has you wrapped around her finger and can do anything she wants with you and you're just going to keep running back.
I had a friend who has an extremely dodgy girlfriend that he is still with. For the first 3 yrs that they went out she told him she's a virgin and wouldn't give it up to him. But according to one of my other friend's she lost it before she met him but lyed about it. Then when she went through his emails and found out he was complaining about not getting any after 3 years... she dumped him went out with one of her friends for a couple of months and slept with the guy on many occasions. Yet he took her back. Don't fall in the same trap.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): She's not committed to you pal...simple as that. AS much as it may hurt, you need to move on if you can't put up with it. Most people would not.
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (18 June 2010):
 I'm sorry to say, but your girlfriend is a cheater and a liar. That's not my opinion, that's just based off of the facts you gave. And I'd be lying to you if I told you things will be okay, because they won't. She's already lied and kept 2 separate things from you, how do you know she is not keeping anything else from you?
Don't let her actions make you question yourself. You are not doing anything wrong. You're not forcing her to cheat. It's her. She can try to give you every excuse in the book but in the end, it's her decision and she's made it.
I suggest ended it with her because it sounds like she'll just do it again.
...............................
|
