Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: Maybe this book may help you to understand more about porn.
The Porn Trap
By Wendy Maltz LCSW, DST, and Larry Maltz LCSW
reference;-
http://www.healthysex.com/books.php
... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: You need to think if single parenting is better than double parents and whether you will be able to stand up to the rigours of a one parent family.
Will it be fair to the children that their dad is removed from their care ?
I hope you can res... (read in full...)
I don't want sex but I still pleasure him orally and he wants more help!!!
Q. I'm a 26 year old healthy woman who has absolutely no interest in sex or any type of physical intimacy. When I first met my bf, I would have sex with him to make him happy but it did nothing for me (we've been together for 9 months). Now I've tol...
A. 25 March 2010: When you are in a relationship like in a marriage, your body does not belong to you alone. He has a right to your body. You should not stop him from enjoying your body .
Even if you don't find any pleasure from the sex, you should allow him to d... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: You have a very high expectations from your man and his inability to matched your expectations is a big disappointment to you .
If you cannot lower your expectations and live with him as to who he is , there is only one road to travel, divorce.... (read in full...)
Is there a chance for us if she moves back here?
Q. Ok so recently my LDR girlfriend broke up with me. She said that this relationship wasn't working for her and she just wanna be my friend. She told me she don't wanna be in a relationship nomore so don't wait up for her and that she hope I find the ...
A. 25 March 2010: If you are fated to meet each other , you will . Life has many probabilities.
Keep your options open . ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble moving on because I don't know why he dumped me
Q. Hey guys, I hope you can give me some opinions on this. I met this guy last year and he asked me out. We hit it off really well but he had to leave town for business right after our first date. While he was away for about a month, he called...
A. 25 March 2010: You should forgive him and move on with your life. Whatever the reasons he ditched you is no more important. It does not matter anymore .
The usual reasons people get dumped is because
1) They found a better one
2) They saw your flaws and ... (read in full...)
My ex is back in my life, and I don't really want her there
Q. Hey guys and gals, Recently my ex-girlfriend contacted me. We haven't spoken in 8 months or so, (she broke up with me). Now she Kind of entered my life again, she had a very nasty time last couple of months. She kind of blamed me for not be...
A. 25 March 2010: Be civil to her because it is better to have a friend than an enemy in this world.
Who knows someday she may come in useful or could help you in the future.
Don't step on people's toes because you may one day have to lick their asses.... (read in full...)
Really getting to quite like him but now I'm getting mixed signals, help!
Q. Hi all, I'm 28 and back at university for the second time. I'm nearly finished the term and just noticed this guy staring at me... a lot! I didnt really notice him much before but now I see him looking at me from the corners of my eyes I ca...
A. 25 March 2010: He is a secret admirer of you who is not too secret.Probably he is intimidated by you or is too shy to make the first move.
You will have to break the ice and he would not reject you . Most of the time , if a girl approaches a guy , she will rec... (read in full...)
Needs vs Needy?
Q. I would like concrete advice on the difference between being needy and needing someone. How do you convey needs without coming across needy? Please give examples. Thanks!...
A. 25 March 2010: Needing someone is like wanting a b/f or g/f ,like wanting someone to complement your weakness and strength in a partnership.You have a need .
Being needy means wanting constant attentions, affections and reassurance from the other person to an ex... (read in full...)
They're becoming good friends and I'm uncomfortable about it! Help!
Q. A while back, an old friend, let's say his name is "Ted", and I had a brief fling that ended in me getting hurt really badly. One of my guy friends, we'll call him "John", helped me through it and told me he hated Ted for hurting me so badly. Now, ...
A. 25 March 2010: Your friend is just insensitive to your feelings. If they become close friends, there is nothing much you can do about it.
Maybe Ted explained to John and he accepted his explanations from him.
You will find it hurtful and unacceptable tha... (read in full...)
I don't want to tell him the baby is NOT his!!!
Q. I am the one who posted pregnant by my old flame I am pregnant by my old flame and have a boyfriend, we have been together for 5 years and its been rocky, I have messed with my old flame two times, I am pregnant and have not told my BF, he is very ...
A. 25 March 2010: I can understand your decision. You will have to carry this secret to the grave with you .... (read in full...)
I found my 22 year old sister and 14 year old brother in bed together.
Q. I found my 22 year old sister and 14 year old brother in bed together. She had her arms round him and everything. She said they were watching a film together and he fell asleep in her bed and that she had her arms round him to keep warm and that ...
A. 25 March 2010: Were they naked or in a semi nude condition?... (read in full...)
Sleeping with a broken heart...
Q. Hello, Here's my situation: i found out through myspace that my boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating with an ex girlfriend for the past year. when confronted, he denied it so i confronted her and found out it was true. when he found out i talk...
A. 25 March 2010: The question you will need to answer is whether you still love him after what he has done to you and whether he is worth taking back?
If you think he is worth a second chance, it has to be on your terms .
Walking away from a 3 year relationshi... (read in full...)
Porn stars!
Q. Why does my husband comment to porn stars and thinks its okay? He has our family picture his default image on his site. I told him a dozen of times that it is embarrassing to me. What the heck is wrong with him he doesnt get it?! Am I over ...
A. 25 March 2010: It is a shame to put his family picture there. He should respect your privacy and rights. It is embarrassing when relatives or friends see it on that site.
You need to put your feet down and asked him to replaced it.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friends I'm moving away?
Q. Hello again peoples, I'm finding it difficult to confide in anyone at this point in my life because I'm afraid I'm going to regret it, like I regret most things I do. I live in South-east england, it's quite busy, always something happening, quite...
A. 25 March 2010: Friends come and go and it is inevitable . You will make new friends and old friends will fade away.
Just tell them that your family has decided to move to another location and you can still contact each other by e-mail,FB etc.... (read in full...)
The baby girl I had adopted is in my class!!! (I'm teaching her!)
Q. I'm an 8th grade teacher and when i was younger I had a baby girl and put her up for adoption because i was only 15 at the time i had her. Now I recently recieved an email from the parents of a child informing me that my daughter was in my class. ...
A. 25 March 2010: Do as her adopted parents advised. It would come as a shock to her if you were to disclose it to her now.
Take the time to really know her and be close to her and find out how she feels about her biological mother.
The right time will come w... (read in full...)
Does this brother - sister relationship seem strange to you?
Q. My girlfriend (21) seems unhealthily too close to her 13 year old brother. She calls him sweetie all the time and seems obsessively interested in his life particulary any girlfriends/relationships. She has him round her house every Thursday night ...
A. 25 March 2010: She could be subconsciously acting like his mother .Some bonds between siblings can be very close and strong, especially an older sister and a younger brother.
This is a very sensitive issue and you need to handle with care.... (read in full...)
He's unfair to my kids and favors his own! Should I end this relationship?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a man that I love. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and he has one child from a previous relationship. We live together and get along great most of the time. But lately I've been noticing some unpleasant ...
A. 25 March 2010: If you perceived that he has double standards, you could communicate with him and seek a way to overcome this problem.
Both of you should work around this problem but if he still does the same , then there is no hope but to leave.
If you cannot... (read in full...)
My elderly neighbour had a go at me for dressing too revealing!
Q. my question is regarding wearing saree, i am a housewife. i wear sarees only, recently was hurt when my neighbour, an old lady rebuked me for wearing a saree sexily, whe said that i should not expose hips n navel when i wear saree. i have got used ...
A. 24 March 2010: Just ignore that old lady. She is from another generations and you really can't blame her. You have a nosy neighbour.
Who is she to tell you how and what to wear?... (read in full...)
How can I stop my flirty behaviour?
Q. I recently found out that apparently I get really flirty around guys I'm even the slightest but attracted to. I would much prefer to come off as cool and relaxed but I'm having trouble doing this because I thought I was until my friends were like ...
A. 24 March 2010: Just look at your friends and follow their examples of how to behave and act when in the presence of the opposite sex.
Be more reserved and talk only when spoken to. Keep to the point and avoid those unnecessary words.... (read in full...)
Sensitive girl dating very sarcastic man.....will it work out or end in tears?
Q. im 22 goin out wit my 26 yr old boyfrend 7 months for the first 3 months we had so much fun we used to always go out dancing in clubs go to pubs and go out drinking and go to cinemas. we said i love you after only 3 months which is very quick i kno...
A. 24 March 2010: How can you tolerate all those stuff? You are being emotionally and mentally abused .
You don't deserve such rotten treatment from him .
Walk away and start a new life.... (read in full...)
I am hoping to reconcile with my ex, but should I tell him about my drunken dalliance with another?
Q. I broke up with my ex for good reason, then after a few months just as we start talking again about getting back together I got wayyy too drunk and did something sexual with someone else. Now I feel really guilty and I'm scared if he knew we could ...
A. 24 March 2010: If you want to know how deep is his love for you , you can tell him and if he forgives you , everything will be o.K.
You will have to take the risk and it could go the other way.
If you don't want to take the risk , then keep that skeleton lo... (read in full...)
Help! Hopelessly in love and it's killing me!!
Q. *OP's own title* I'm in love. It's that simple. We had a little thing 2 months ago. I've liked him 3 years. I waited so long to simply kiss him. My passion for him was wild. And his for me, was too. But in the end, he said being friends is bet...
A. 24 March 2010: I think you have fallen off his radar and he can't see you anymore on his screen.
Accept the reality and move on . ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex, and now worry of the consequences. Please help me!
Q. [Moderators Note - Helpful advice only please] ok this is really long but ill try to make it short: alright im fifteen,i went out with a guy for what would have been a year on feb. 27 this year but he kept breaking up with me an begging me to ta...
A. 24 March 2010: You made a bad mistake in your life. Learn from your mistake and move on with life.
Don't judge yourself too harshly and do forgive yourself. You did it in a moment of weakness.
Go for a prego and STD test .... (read in full...)
I think I might be gay.
Q. Im 15 and im kinda alone in the world. Im relly scared because.... when i was younger i was always the one who never cared about girls! ever! and when i was 12 i kinda figured out why! Its becaus im gay... I think? well, Am I? I never get sexuly ...
A. 24 March 2010: Why do you need to tell people that you are gay?
Not all people can accept gays and there are homophobic people who will be bias and prejudiced against you .
You don't need to let the world know that you are a gay.
The disadvantage out ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want him to cut contact with the mother of his unborn child?
Q. my ex got another grl pregnant wile we were apart and now he wants me bck. crying to me all time trying everything to get me bck. but he still has contact with this grl every week. i feel if je really love me and have no feelings for her and dont ...
A. 24 March 2010: He is responsible for his actions.Since he sired the baby , he should be responsible for the baby. He dug the hole , so he should lie in it.
There are cases where the men loves the women and even can abdicate the throne for their love ,let alo... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want him to cut contact with the mother of his unborn child?
Q. my ex got another grl pregnant wile we were apart and now he wants me bck. crying to me all time trying everything to get me bck. but he still has contact with this grl every week. i feel if je really love me and have no feelings for her and dont ...
A. 24 March 2010: He has to put you first on his priority list . Anything less than that is not acceptable.
It may sound cruel or unreasonable to cut contact with the baby but that is life.
He sired the baby with another woman and he should take full respon... (read in full...)
My controlling and agrressive behaviour caused my boyfriend to dump me. How can I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been on and off for a year and a bit, he's family hate me, as a posted something nasty about him on face book to everyone. Ok pretty much, i'm really controlling, i get angry if i find out he is calling other girls, or if he ...
A. 24 March 2010: You know where your fault lies and you need to tone them down or change them.
Give him a break and when things are calm and normal again , speak to him or ask him out. ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel bored in my relationship???
Q. SO lately I've been analyzing my relationship with my current girlfriend. We've been together for a year now. I know its not much compared to someone that's been in one for 3, 5 or even more years, but I'm actually proud of myself because I never ...
A. 24 March 2010: Ask your g/f to get a complete change over. Go to a beautician , a hairstylist and shop for new clothes .
She would look stunning and you can fall in love with her again.... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want him to cut contact with the mother of his unborn child?
Q. my ex got another grl pregnant wile we were apart and now he wants me bck. crying to me all time trying everything to get me bck. but he still has contact with this grl every week. i feel if je really love me and have no feelings for her and dont ...
A. 24 March 2010: He should cut off all contacts with her until the baby is born. This will show his sincerity and love for you .
If he can't do that , his love is susceptible and not steadfast for you .
Step your foot down .... (read in full...)
I am sick of waiting for this married man to divorce his wife. What is he up to?
Q. I'm involved with a married man for a year now, he's been clear from day 1, he said his marriage was arranged by his parents, that he never met his wife before engagement and that he's only "obeing" his mom by marrying the woman, he said he never ...
A. 24 March 2010: Cut your losses and run.You are like the proverbial frog in the well in love with the moon , reflected on the waters.
He is sitting on the fence and does not want to come down to your side. He will offer excuses and promises to placate you .
... (read in full...)
Another guy advises my girl on relationships and I am concerned he will plant negativity in her mind about me.
Q. Here's my situation. Both myself and the girl I am dating are christian. We believe strongly in long term relationships, ones that seriously could someday grow into feelings of marriage. For the first time in my life, I have found a girl special e...
A. 24 March 2010: It appears that he is like a mentor to her and there is nothing you can do about their relationship.She looks up to him.
All you can do is not to antagonize him and walk a straight road. He may disagree now and then with what you do with your g/f... (read in full...)
We broke up because we fought too much but I can't stop thinking about him...
Q. dear readers....plz help me. i have been with my boyfriend for more than 3 yrs now.... though few months back we broke up, so technically we are not in a relationship but things hvnt really changed. we both love each other madly.. we broke up becau...
A. 24 March 2010: You are imagining too much. You should stop your imaginations and worryings and accept that everything happens for a reason and you cannot prevent anything from not happening.
If your b/f wants to be with the other girl, he would have gone ove... (read in full...)
I moved with my boyfriend to another city but I can't find a job and he can no longer support me for free. Please help!
Q. ive asked for advice on here before but now i think it time i asked again... im feeling extremely stressed. everything feels like its falling around me. about five months ago i had a perfect plan. i have an amazing boyfriend who lives with...
A. 24 March 2010: I am sorry to hear of your plight .Life can be cruel sometimes.
If your mom or your b/f cannot help you , I would suggest that you go to this link to seek help;-
Do not give up hope and have faith in God.
http://www.adviceguid... (read in full...)
Married and dating a married man for 5 years... am I wasting time thinking he will leave his wife when the kids are older?
Q. I met the man that I am currently involved with at my job. I had been married for 8 years and he had been married for 6 at the time we met. (We are both still married to our spouses) We both have children the same age range.(but he is 10 yrs older ...
A. 24 March 2010: Don't listen to promises made from a man and even worse from a married man. They will promise you anything in their powers but their powers to make them come true is very limited.
A married man will seldom leave his family . There is no wish for... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get her back without begging? Or should I move on - and if so, how do I get back into the loop of making friends and talking to girls?
Q. [Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged into one post] Question 1 Hi, i have recently got left buy my girlfriend of two years, Yesterday she said she wants to experience the fun of high school. I am leaving her alone li...
A. 24 March 2010: You need to take back control of your life again. Nobody owes you in this world and you need to seek your own happiness.You don't have to depend on others to make you happy.
Go out with your friends and feel free and have fun and enjoy life. In... (read in full...)
What signs will a guy use to let you know he is interested
Q. What kinds of signs will a guy send to let you know he likes you more than a friend? Especially a shy guy who might not make it as obvious? We aren't close friends, haven't hung out much, which might be a good thing to avoid the "friendship zone". ...
A. 24 March 2010: If he treats you differently from his other g/f's. He is always looking your way or finding ways to be with you.
You can Google for more tips online. ... (read in full...)
Need advice on concerns about this new dating relationship!
Q. Hi i had known my boyfriend for 3 years now but we have only been together for 1 month. I think he genuinely likes me because of the way he talks to me so sweet and with so much love in his voice, but still not sure if he's on games. How would I ...
A. 24 March 2010: If you want to know the answer,you need to ask him directly and not beat about the bush.
That way you won't waste each others time .Be direct and forward.
If he is not interested, move on . Don't feel rejected. ... (read in full...)
Is my friend interested in me? He has been acting weird!
Q. Today my friend Rob was acting weird! I hung out with my friends and his brother who is 13 sat. He kept saying that I liked his brother and that he was my boyfriend. He knows that I like him strongly and not his brother. Rob he said that he got ...
A. 24 March 2010: If he showered a lot of attentions on you or make you feel special , he is probably interested in you.... (read in full...)
Back together and she's still talking to the other guy!
Q. Okay here I go, My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years. But almost 2 months ago we broke up due to us arguing about dumb stuff. Anyway, we got back together after a month and a half. She actually came back and said that she...
A. 24 March 2010: She said that you have her heart and love and you should build your foundation on that.
You should try to ignore this other guy and let her handle that issue alone.This shows your trust in her and in time , she will moved closer to you and that... (read in full...)
Husband cheated and got girl pregnant!
Q. what to do? i'm a christian, but am so confused. married 12 years and he cheated on me and got this young girl pregnant. he wants to stay with me, but how am i supposed to deal with him being involved in another child's life that isn't mine!!? we ...
A. 24 March 2010: If he has committed adultery, you can seek a divorce from him and it is allowed in the Bible.
The question now is whether you want to divorce him or to forgive him and accept him back.
No doubt he has committed a grave sin against you and ... (read in full...)
Seems like such a great guy. Is he genuine?
Q. hi I met this guy online, we chatted for a while and then decided to meet up. we hit it off really well and decided to meet again which again was really good. He is currently in his final year at uni therefore he is really busy handing in assig...
A. 24 March 2010: Appearances can be deceptive. Only after a certain period of time will you know if he is genuine .
You can give him the benefits of doubts and see if things will turn out as he promised. ... (read in full...)
Could somebody out there tell me the advantages of dating white men exclusively?
Q. I started dating caucasian men a year ago because I have had nothing but bad luck with men from my own race (Asian). Could somebody out there tell me the advantages of dating white men exclusively? Help!!!...
A. 24 March 2010: There are the good, the bad and the ugly in every race. It is very unfortunate that you only met those bad ones from your own race.
There are pro's and cons of dating a white man.Culturally there are differences between Caucasians and Asians. ... (read in full...)
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