A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay here I go, My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years. But almost 2 months ago we broke up due to us arguing about dumb stuff. Anyway, we got back together after a month and a half. She actually came back and said that she loves and misses me and I felt the same way so we got back together. But during our break we both were talking to other people, 1 person in particular. I liked the girl and my girlfriend liked the guy, but we loved each other wayy more. But the thing is when we got back together I told the girl that I was talking to, politely, that I got back with my ex and I want to work things out so we should not be talking like that again and she had no problem, she understood. I did this out of respect for my girlfriend and the girl so I would not just stop talking to her out of nowhere. But when it came to my girlfriend doing her part in telling the guy she was talking to what was happening, she hesitated. We got back together on Friday and now it's Tuesday and she still never told him. I know she likes or liked him but now we are in our relationship and we want to start things off fresh. But she won't try to call and tell him that she wants to move on. This is confusing to me because she says that I have her heart and I am her love but "her head is messed up." I asked her if she wants to really be with me honestly and she says "of course I do, I really love you but if the guy called or texted me anytime of the day I would still pick up the phone" and she doesn't know why. She is a really confused person and she also has a really low self esteem. I asked her what does she think the real problem is and she told me that she thinks she is just too needy and craves attention. Now I want to be with her I love her to death and she really loves me the same way, but I want to start this relationship off brand new. How can I get her to fully cut this guy off so we can move on? We are doing absolutely great but this is the only thing serious that is holding us back because she is a really confused person. She is sure she wants to be with me but she cant control herself when it comes to the other guy. Its like she wants me but she also still wants to talk with him. What should I do to make this relationship work? Should I give it some time? A week? Or what?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 She said that you have her heart and love and you should build your foundation on that.
You should try to ignore this other guy and let her handle that issue alone.This shows your trust in her and in time , she will moved closer to you and that guy will become history.
If you show your displeasure or its effects on you , it would show your controlling attitude and your actions will be bias .
You should not let this issue bug you otherwise you can never be free .You will always be shackled by this guy in your relationship with your g/f.
Remember that girls and boys do not think alike and see issues differently.
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