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... Send *abey a private message | | | *abey's profile:Im a 37year old nurse. Who has been through realtionships. Aswell as a marriage. I am no more qualified than anyone to help with problems, but if a few of my words can comfort someone and help them a little, then that makes my day. WE all need to share when we have a worry or concern, I need that too.
I am in afairly new relationship, hope that I can get it right this time. Probably with the help from people on this site.
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Is he over me? He acts like he is not, what do you think?
Q. I split up with my ex 8 months ago,after a 2.5 yr relationship we was engaged and i was his first love since that day we have been n/c. we ended due to him wanting space - it turns out he had a break down that him push me away. i have seen him a...
A. 25 October 2008: it sounds to me like there is an awful lot there for him, with him saying all those things to you it sounds like this guy has not got you out of his head one little bit.
I think in front of his friends he said that as sometimes men dont want... (read in full...)
He broke up with me but keep saying "right now", what does it mean? Will he want me back later on?
Q. when he broke up with me after about 2 1/2 weeks,he said he just wants to be friends cause he needs to focus on some stuff and he feels bad he isnt spending enough time with me cause hes busy. but he kept using the words "right now" im wondering if ...
A. 25 October 2008: men use words and they back this up with their actions, and we must take the actions and words if consisent at face value. He says right now he has not the time for you. Who knows maybe one day he will. But the best thing you can do is accept what ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now?
Q. Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now? I am in love with this guy who says he has a partner that he doesn't get on too well with but knows I am interested in him and keeps phoning me! - We have arranged to meet up as long ...
A. 24 October 2008: you say you only want to see him to see if he is ok, you know thats not true you can speak to him on the phone and know he is ok. You must be honest with yourself you want to see him in the hope something may begin. Thats fine but here are some ... (read in full...)
I don't have very good self esteem and find it very difficult to talk to people. How can I change this ?
Q. I dunno whats wrong with me lately. I have a large social circle but I dont have very good self esteem and find it very difficut to talk to people, sometimes even my friends. We all go on holidays and festivals every year but for some reason lately ...
A. 24 October 2008: The good thing here is you are aware of your state of mind, you are aware you feel down about yourslef, recognising a problem is the first step in resolving it.
Ok so you know you have to work on your self esteem.
Right now,write down all... (read in full...)
Things are great between us, then suddenly he just cuts me off. How do I deal with this ?
Q. So i've been talking to this guy for about two months and things have been going great. we decided from the beginning that we weren't going to put titles to anything and just let whatever happens, happen. however, when we would go out, he would be ...
A. 24 October 2008: ok this guy at least has been honest about how he feels. He says at the moment he does not want any more than a friendship with you, his words and his actions are telling you he means this. Now the first thing to do is now leave him be, allow himto ... (read in full...)
I called my ex after 2 months! it went well - is he in to me?
Q. Me and my ex-boyfriend has been apart for nearly 2 months and I figured since i was happy enough (meaning not as frantic or depressed as I used to) that I could break the ice and call him. So tonight I finally called him. It actually went very ...
A. 24 October 2008: i think girl you have done a grand job. You left the guy alone and gave him space , then 2 months later you have called him, and acted normal and friendly. This means he will sense there is no pressure from you and he will relax around you, also he ... (read in full...)
How should I greet my boyfriend when I get back from travelling?
Q. hello, im about to turn 16 in a month. but anyways, this is kinda stupid but you see im traveling at right now and though i know it wasnt the best idea i got back together with my boyfriend while ive been away. thing is last time we were together...
A. 8 August 2008: well the thing is sounds a cliche, but go with the flow daling. When you meet him give him a big hug, and it will either just become a full kiss or not. But then if you two are beginning to embark on a journey the kissing will definately come along ... (read in full...)
What do you all think of boring guys?
Q. What do you guys think of boring guys? Let me explain: I was always taught that you should be doing something with your free time - going out and having fun, going on vacation, reading a book, cleaning the house, helping someone else, calling yo...
A. 7 August 2008: well if you have suggested and talked to him about your concerns and nothing has changed. Then I think im afraid you are too different and this person will drive you mad in the long term.
Some poeple would be happy with that type of rela... (read in full...)
Only 7 weeks until I have my baby, and my boyfriend is going on holiday with his mates. I don't know why he wants to go.
Q. My boyfriend is going on a lads holiday, im pregnant and only have 7 weeks left and he didn't even ask me how i feel about him going, he just booked it with his mates. He is a big flirt with the women and i'm scared he will cheat when he is there, ...
A. 7 August 2008: Its a shame that you are having a baby with soemone you dont trust, im sad to hear that. Ok the reality is, it must be tough for you when heavily pregnant we all feel alittle insecure and not our best. And yes hard that your chap is off on holiday ... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with my boyfriend?! I'm worried.
Q. my boyfriend expect me to always call him. he dont call me as usual. if we are to talk its only me to call. if i send him romantic massages he dont reply them. he only replies if he wants to be annoyed with me. whats wrong with him? worried...!...
A. 7 August 2008: how long have you been seeing this guy ???
Im afraid he has become lazy, its a cliche but men like to chase they like to feel they have a prize worth having. And if you do all the calling and put in all the effort, oh dear he will just run. Whic... (read in full...)
I broke up with my "perfect" boyfriend, and I don't feel right with my new guy.
Q. I'm slightly confused about what to do. My almost "perfect" bf and I broke up in may (it was a bad break up b/c he had a lot of emotional issues he was hiding). For two months I've been seeing this new guy, but I just dont feel right. I dont fe...
A. 7 August 2008: I do think there is a lack of effort beingout in by this new boyfriend, and you are right to question that. He should really be making some effort to communicate with you in between dates. Have you expressed this to him, its good that he listens to ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm through penetrative sex
Q. hope someone can help, i can't seem to orgasam during penetrative sex?i can orgasam through clitoral stimulation (from myself or my bf)but just not when having sex with my bf?? can anyone suggest any advice please??...
A. 7 August 2008: Good news is you are completely normal, around 70 percent of women only orgasm throught clitoral stimulation, so you have nothing to worry about.
Some women choose postions where they can stimulate there clitoris they can or your boyfriend can.... (read in full...)
She seems clingy! So I am questioning whether I truely love her?? Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have lived with my girlfriend for nearly 1 year now having moved in with her after about 4 months although this feels alot longer as I have spent more or less every day with her. Ever since I've moved in she seems to want to spend every minu...
A. 26 June 2008: when living with someone alot of the excitment, mystery etc fades. I think you have reached this point. I do think from what you are saying is that you are being very reasonable by giving up some of your hobbies to accomadate her needs. Although I ... (read in full...)
Which one of these men from a dating site, should I choose?
Q. Two gentlemen from dating sites which i'm very interested one is an economist, so sweet, the other is retired, and just the kind of man i always wanted. Both express their desire for me. I will meet them both, yet I dont want to lead them on. I live ...
A. 26 June 2008: relax, meet them both. When you meet them you then can choose as to whether there is one you prefer or not, thats the whole point of a dating site, is to meet new people and then choose if you wish to go further than friendship.
You are only... (read in full...)
Do all guys get grossed out by kissing their partner after she gives you head?
Q. okay i have a question for all of you guys out there (girls feel free to answer if youve been in this situation). okay do all guys get grossed out by kissing thier partner after she gives you head? my boy friend doesnt want to kiss me after ive ...
A. 22 May 2008: dont worry, a lot of men are not to keen on tasting their own sperm, i think this is quite natural for some. I|n sex we must always respect someones feelings, not everyone is the same. Y|ou say you expect a reward as in kissing after giving head. ... (read in full...)
My family is happy for me, but my boyfriend is freaking out and hasn't told his parents I'm pregnant!
Q. I am 21 years old and I just found out I'm pregnant. My family is happy for me, but my boyfriend, who is 20 is freaking out. He won't tell his parents because he's scared of their reaction. Is there anything I can do to help him with this? ...
A. 22 May 2008: i suggest dont push him into telling his parents yet. Explain to him that you are there for him, and encourage him to face his fear. H|e will tell them when he feels ready and pressure from you will make him feel worse. T|ell him you understand how ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or am I imagining it?
Q. i really like this guy, and i am looking for signs that he likes me too. i think he does but im scared i am imagining it just because i like him. he is a friendly with my ex so i cant just go on up and ask him, as its too soon my ex still wants me...
A. 22 May 2008: the signs are all there. This guy obviously fancies you.
P|roblem is then you both are connected to your ex. Which may make it hard for this guy to make a move. I suggest you heavily flirt with him and majorly give him the signs you are inte... (read in full...)
Is being 47 kgs and 5 ft 3 inches underweight?
Q. Is being 15 years old, 5ft 3 and 47kgs underweight?...
A. 22 May 2008: you must be pretty petite, im 5ft 3 and weigh 50kg, and I|m quite small. B|ut your fifteen and im 37, so at fifteen I| would say no your not underweight.
You are probally small built and may fill out as you get older.
Y|ou are the only... (read in full...)
Split up - what now?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me a few days ago. We recently got engaged (8 weeks ago)and now i don't know what to do. We have been together since school and i always put him first and now i feel i have nothing? I still love him and don't ...
A. 21 May 2008: it is hard to answer not knowing why he broke up with you. |Did he claim he didnt love you anymore? had you had a row?
|I would really need to know what he said to have a clearer perpective on it.
|Now is time to give him some space, a... (read in full...)
33 weeks pregnant with genital warts and SCARED
Q. I was so excited when I first found out that I was pregnant on Nov. 5 of '07. Me and my boyfriend were just so amazed and happy! During my 1st trimester I had a somewhat normal pregnancy everything except the negative RH factor which in the long ...
A. 21 May 2008: i am not 100 per cent but as far as Im a ware genital warts are completely harmless the same as if you had a wart on your hand. There is no problem that they will harm your baby in anyway or you for that matter. A very high per cent of people carry ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 21 May 2008: thank you girls, on a up date i did all I| could just to relax and enjoy last night. I| must have done ok as he asked to see me again on thurs. B|ut I will contine to be cautious and not think into the future but as you say take each day as it comes ... (read in full...)
We met via on line dating, is it too soon to ask if he has other dates in parallel? We have been intimate already.
Q. I recently met a guy on an on-line dating site. We have been dating for a couple of months and sleeping together as well. Out of curiosity, I went on the site to see when he was last on-line, and it was TODAY. How do I approach him about this? I ...
A. 20 May 2008: after a couple of months and the fact you have slept together. you have every right to ask if you are the only one.
I went out with a guy from the internet, and actually after a month, I to saw he had still been on the site. I asked him a bout... (read in full...)
My 3 year old is masturbating, how should I to handle this? Is it normal?
Q. hi i'm a mom, i have a question if a girl 3 year old she is masturbation herself is normal? if it is what can i do for that, to me is not normal cos she just too baby please somebody help me?...
A. 20 May 2008: i think using the word mastubation, is maybe a little stong. I have three daughters and they all have touched their vaginas, and probably it has felt nice, but at this age that is all they know. Masturbation is a sexual act where someone plays with ... (read in full...)
I need to know if he fancies me or is just being friendly...
Q. i need to know if a guy i know fancies me or is just being friendly. he tickles me he'll talk to me loads he'll randomly text me to ask how my day was he'll laugh at my jokes he teases me he has nicknames for me this might be a sign i'm...
A. 20 May 2008: simple answer to your question, is yes this guy definately fancies you, all the signs are there.
I think if you fancy him to mention it to a mutual friend who could help push him into having the courage to ask you out xxxxx... (read in full...)
He still denys the internet chatting even though I've seen the emails with my own eyes?
Q. please help as i dont know if im making the right choice....i've split up with my boyfriend of 2 years because of lies about money and talking to girls online but i dont know if im making the right decision. he still denys the internet chatting even ...
A. 17 May 2008: well you are very sensible to be airing caution.
Sometimes people dont know what a wonderful thing they have until it is gone, and sounds like your ex has realised this. But as you said is he trustworthy ?
I think I would insist that if ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to want some answers as to why he chats with other girls on his MSN?
Q. OK, here's the scenario. I've posted a question before about 2 weeks ago about how I think my partner is cheating on me, to which I got some good replies. My question now is connected to this, but its been kind of bothering me. My b/f and I have b...
A. 17 May 2008: oh wow you poor thing.
You have every right to ask him about his chatting to other women. Im afraid in life we cannot control what another person does but we can control what we do and how we react.
The reason you feel fed up is because ... (read in full...)
What do you think the stuff he is doing means?
Q. okay well im having a problem here. my ex seems to show some signs that he likes me, but he has another gf. Idk if he does so im asking this, he gets really red around me and I catch him looking at me and he kept all his myspace comments from me ...
A. 17 May 2008: sounds to me like he has not let go from you.
Who ended the relationship ?
There is no harm in testing the water, by telling him you misss him. This will give you the answers you need, if he recipricates, and tells you he misses y... (read in full...)
He's grieving over a jet plane, don't know if we will get back again....
Q. I am in a desperate situation and need advice. My long distance boyfriend has given me an ultimatum. He moved a long way away after being with me for a year and we have been apart for 9 months. During that time I have only been able to see him ...
A. 17 May 2008: difficult to anwser this question without knowing exactly how far away he is.
Can you go for a week or 2 weeks only ?
If you could then perhaps that would be the compromise, go and have a short holiday with him. This way you will be able ... (read in full...)
OMG!!! Why did I let my friend kiss me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he makes me really happy, I love him so much. In that time I've had a few men interested in me, and I've never wanted to or felt the need to cheat. However last week my male friend, who I've known for a ...
A. 27 February 2008: these things happen, and yoou know you are happy with your boyfriend. You can be happy and madly in love but it is human, to enjoy being liked by others, and if someone is a good friend it is natural to sometimes show affaection. Ok in this case it ... (read in full...)
I cant commit to anything or anyone!
Q. I cant ccommit to anything or anyone, even when i try to stick to something like a new diet or doing work paperwork i put it off and find somerhing else to do. My ex boyfriend spilt with me because i wouldn't say i loved him, but i did for ages even ...
A. 26 February 2008: when we are young, we often swap and change our minds about things, its normal. Thats how we learn and discover what we really want and learn how to stick to things.
Have a look back over your life, as a child did the adults around you comm... (read in full...)
I feel a need to fix everything, but it doesn't seem to work
Q. Can some one help me? I am totally lost in life. I feel like I must fix the world. I am 25 married and have a career. I am currently separated from my spouse do to my job. I love my career, but again I am not sure if I should be at home wit...
A. 26 February 2008: in life we must sit back and take time out to think, what is it that i want in my life. its ok to do that it is not selfish. You are the only one who knows what it is you would like and how you would like your life to be.
Hey look at you alre... (read in full...)
I unloaded my stress on him, so he broke up with me and started to drink. What now?
Q. I don't know what to do, I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 11 months. We have always had a very exciting relationship, with really strong emotions. But last week I was so stressed out and I took it out on him, which I felt so guilty about. ...
A. 25 February 2008: Im afraid perhaps now you should just back off. Dont contact him and let him cool off.
with the space that you provide, hopefully he will decide if he wants you and the ex is in or out.
Any pressure from you and he may react badly. A... (read in full...)
How do you become happy and content without a partner and close friends in your life?
Q. I just want to know, how do u become happy and cotnent without a partner in your life and without close friends? some times i feel very lonely and have tried to meet people but they never stay long. for the past few years i have felt like i've lost ...
A. 25 February 2008: really the happiest people in the world are those who have a close support network, e.g friends and family.
Before you can really form long, true friendships though, you have to be fairly happy within yourself. Have you a job ? and do you enjo... (read in full...)
I felt so hurt, used, betrayed by this man, whose son I gave birth to. There is also another man in my life, whom I actually love but I'm very confused!
Q. Hi, I need some advice, a different insight, well i'm sure you will understand... Well my question is basically who should I choose? You will understand why in a minute... I'm sorry if this long but I have been pondering this decision for som...
A. 25 February 2008: well firstly, i have to tell you you are a very brave lady, you have been through some extremely, turbulaent, and difficult times.
And now I feel the answer is simple, aaron from what I have read in your note has not physically or mentally abus... (read in full...)
Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 25 February 2008: well if thats how it ended, then sounds like yes give it another shot. although you say he still has feelings, obviously you have to have feelings too. some relationships are fab second time around, you have nothing to loose, go out and get to know ... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two guys that I like. Help!!
Q. I need some help. I'm stuck between two guys I like. One guy is nice and very smart, but only average. I know he likes me. But the other boy is smart and attractive and has a fabulous sense of humor and appreciation of cartoons like I do. The thing ...
A. 22 February 2008: the one you like, why dont you think he likes you/ can you be sure ? Dont lead on the one you dont like make it clear you are not interested, then somehow find out that the one you like is really not interested, if he really is not then yes time to ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by telling him she isn't into him?
Q. Hey, I need some opinions on my situation. There's this girl I know who has been getting textx from a boy all the time, and you can tell he likes her. Problem is though, she hates him. He annoys her and she complains about him all the time. For ...
A. 22 February 2008: well i guess you told him this information because you care about him, and also it is to your gain.
No harm done, because at the end of the day if she is being so rude about him, you have saved him alot of humiliation.
so yes now you can ... (read in full...)
If I am wasting my time I have only got another 4 weeks before he leaves the company to have to deal with him and then I can get on with my life.
Q. I came on here a few weeks ago about a bloke from work who seemed to be interested in me - turns out he was. We have now met a couple of times. We have text each other quite a bit with him saying he really enjoyed being around me. Unfortunately ...
A. 22 February 2008: hey relax, the guy still sounds interessted. Did the text means he is not happy bout loosing his job, but is pretending to be ok with it for the boss ????
anywya besides that, all those kisses seem a sign of affection to me. and he has said... (read in full...)
She wants to hang out with her ex, what should I do?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 and a half months and my girl just out of a 3 year relationship and she still wants to hang out with her ex boyfriend every now and then but she tells me she doesnt have feelings for him anymore or anything , ...
A. 22 February 2008: it is possible for people to be friends with their exes, but unfortunately this often causes disharmony in present relationships. its bound to be unnerving for the new partner. personally, i feel if a new partner feels unhappy with this it is ok to ... (read in full...)
What causes people to fall in love?
Q. Hey just curious here but i've always wondered what causes people to fall in love? I've never had a bf before and i like this lad who i'm friends with and these feelings all came on so suddenly about 3 months ago. Its like, oh i don't know, how do ...
A. 22 February 2008: the cause of falling in love I think is personal to each individual. the cause that makes me fall in love, is realising i love spending time with someone, i want to be with them whenever possible, they make me laugh, i trust them, im attracted to ... (read in full...)
Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 22 February 2008: why did you split up? do you still like him? do you want to be with him? did he treat you well? did you get along/ ask yourself those questions then make your choice xxx... (read in full...)
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