A
female
age
26-29,
*andy.
writes:[Moderators Note - Helpful advice only please]ok this is really long but ill try to make it short:alright im fifteen,i went out with a guy for what would have been a year on feb. 27 this year but he kept breaking up with me an begging me to take him back for times but the last time we didnt get back together. it was a week and a half before valentines day too. we didnt just love each other but we were in love,(some may think were to young to know what love is but this was real love) we had sex a lot and we were careful too. i thought i was gonna spend the rest of my life with this guy because he promised me this and we both thought we could get through anything, we went to the same middle school but this year we started different high schools. after we broke up i found out that it was cause he started liking this other chic, who i had a bad feeling about when we were still together but he said it was nothing and not to worry about it, he always promised me all these things like, your the only one i want and im gonna marry you someday, and i swear to God baby that ill never ever hurt you, sadly i believed him and ended up getting hurt cause of it); well anyway this guy that goes to my highschool stared liking me while i was still with my boyfriend and after we broke up the the other guy found out and we started talking, he asked me out on the 13 of this month. i told myself that i wanted to take things slow with anyother guys that i date, well its been around a week now and he came over yesterday, we started makingout and we went into my room,it started getting heated up and i like blackout( what i mean is that i remember everything that happened but it felt so unreal almost like a dream and i felt like i didnt have a voice, i kept trying to say something like stop, or i cant, or we dont have to rush in to things but nothing came out my mouth) we ended up having unprotected sex!!!! and i dont even think he pulled it out!!! my 8 year old sister barged in my room, but thank God she didnt see much, but she saw enough. i was so embaressed and scarred and worried, and still am. i feel like such a slut being its only been around a week since we stared going out and we already had sex! i also feel so used, like how am i suposed to know that hes not just gonna use me for sex(even though he doesnt seem like it) i dont want anyone knowing about me and him and i hope he doesnt tell anyone...hes spanish(i must have a thing for spanish guys cause my ex was spanish too) and he talks to his friends in spanish so how do i know if hes talking about me or not. im really not like this...i mean i dont go around having sex with random guys and being all slutty, so i feel soo bad and skanky): i did it with my ex because i didnt just love him i was IN LOVE with him. and with my new boyfriend i have no clue why i did what i did. i was so out of it. im like hating myself for this and i have no clue what to do, i feel like crying, i feel as if i messed up big time); and im soo scared);please help me if you can:( thanks...
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, my ex, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mandy. +, writes (31 March 2010):
mandy. is verified as being by the original poster of the question fortunatly i got my period so that cleared that up. second me and my current bf are talkin things out cause hes a huge flirt an kinda a player so im clearing that up rate now with him.
thanks guys for all your advice, its been really helpful!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 You made a bad mistake in your life. Learn from your mistake and move on with life.
Don't judge yourself too harshly and do forgive yourself. You did it in a moment of weakness.
Go for a prego and STD test .
...............................
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I'm sure you don't really need to tell me about what to do if you think you're pregnant or what kind of contraception to use and for me to repeat what others have already said will be patronising. As for the guy, give him the benefit for now. Stick with him a while but don't have sex every time you see him. It's ok to say no. If he only wants you for sex and you say no half the time then he'll soon ditch you because unfortunately there are plenty of girls out there who will say yes every time. Let him prove himself to you. And if you turn him down then unless he lies then he can't call you a slut.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I think the first thing you need to do is take a pregnancy test, also go to a clinic and gt urself checked out, you don't know him very well so he could have passed something on to you and a condom doesnt always work. Don't feel like a slut, you were clearly heartbroken and had low self esteem, you probably also did it (had sex with the 2nd guy), to kinda get bak at ur boyfrend. Maybe you should stay away from the guys right now, i dont think your emotionally stable right now to be in a relationship, and you dont seem to be over your ex.
...............................
A
female
reader, Vicci +, writes (23 March 2010):
 Not particularily sure how to answer this.The first thing to say is calm down. Everyone has a rush of passion that can make them do stupid things sometimes.second, talk to your mum if you can. i know its embarassing, but she'd be pleased you went to her. Its in her best interests to help you out. If you dont feel upto talking to your mum, ring your doctor and make a private appointment, and talk to him/her about what happened. That way, they can give you a scan and check your not pregnant, and also check for STDs.third, keep your head up high, and walk proud. hope this helps,-v xxp,s; maybe in the future you should think before you jump in and have sex. your only 14, and you have a lifetime of that ahead of you x
...............................
A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (23 March 2010):
This is a very delicate situation and am sure you ve learnt your lesson.I mean, what were you thinking, sleeping with a guy you barely know unprotected.I dont know how long its been that you guys did it, but if you can get hold of emergency contraceptive, like the morning after pill (Noulevou), it should be taken within 72 hours of having unprotected sex, which is like 3 days.I hope that can help, and try to do a pregnancy test as well.Good luck and pls be more careful next time.
...............................
A
female
reader, topgirl93 +, writes (23 March 2010):
 Hello. The worst thing you can do is be scared.Is There Anyone you can talk to? anyone you can tell your situation who can help you physically.?Have You Taken A Pregnancy test?There are alot of things you can do to help your situation, you do not even have to tell your family. Your Doctor could help you.I have been through the same thing as you have.I Had unprotected sex with a boy that i rushed things with.I was so scared because if i got pregnant at 14(the age i was at the time) then my mom would go crazy, I would mess up things with school, and i didn't have the slightest idea how to look after a baby.I told my 19 year old cousin, and she helped me, she took me to get the morning after pill, and also to get a pregnancy test (just in case).Luckily i was not pregnant and i was so happy. But then my mom found the pregnancy test box in my room and i had to confess.It surprised me, because she never went crazy at all, infact she sat me down and explained you know saying that i shouldn't have sex so young and i should use protection. She was very supportive about it, though she did lecture me about it for a while, but she is my mom.What I am Trying to say is tell someone. Could you talk to your mother about it? If not an older female or someone you are omfortable with.?Don't put yourself down about it. Whats done is done. If it was a mistake, learn from it. If it meant something, You'll know.I hope I helped in anyway possible.And i wish you good luck with everything.You will be fine.Keep your chin up and keep me posted. Let me know what you choose to do or whether i helped.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Well first start by getting a pregnancy test, and don't have sex with the other guy for a while
...............................
A
female
reader, pandabird  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I would firstly talk to this guy about it, ask him for his discretion(he should keep it quiet anyway, if he respects you) and then cool it off. I don't know how the sex situation went initially, but it doesn't sound like he respects you, when you're going out with someone new, you should both make sure you're 100% ready for intercourse. Do you have any friend you can talk to this about? Please don't worry about them judging you, because if they're your true friends, they will want to help you through this. It doesn't sound like you're over your ex either? We all make mistakes, and at the very least, it is a learning curve.
...............................
|
