A
male
age
36-40,
*hargers85
writes:SO lately I've been analyzing my relationship with my current girlfriend. We've been together for a year now. I know its not much compared to someone that's been in one for 3, 5 or even more years, but I'm actually proud of myself because I never been in relationship passed 3 months.SO, I've noticed I don't feel to excited about being in this relationship anymore. I love my girl don't get me wrong. I haven't cheated on her, we both treat each other with respect. Our sex life is great, was great..its been diminishing lately I guess because of me. I just feel bored, or maybe not bored just really used to the same routine. I don't want to end up hurting her, but I don't want to end things either. She's the girl I've always wanted, but I just don't get how I'm not all that excited and happy like she is. So is it maybe that I'm just not used to a long-term relationship? I used to date different girls left and right. Mainly because I never really cared for commitment. Now that i'm getting a bit older however, I feel like its time to settle down. So am I just trying to hard to be the perfect, faithful and committed boyfriend and not ready for serious relationship? it's confusing I know. I'm just trying to find a way to get back to that one crazy feeling you get when you first fall in love..any kind of help is greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone!
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female
reader, erinroxanne +, writes (4 August 2011):
i know this is pretty *very late, but talk to her. say look i feel like were getting into a routine, and i love you, but i think itd be fun to spice things up a bit, maybe we shouldnt hang out for a week and then come back. (phrase it however you want) just say itll be a fun experiment. use this time to evaluate which way you love her. as a friend or as more? just cause shes beautiful doesnt mean shes the love of your life. remember, taking a short break brings it back sometimes. "distance makes the heart grow fonder" they always say. i know i was feeling similarly and my boyfriend went back to his home country and for a week i was stuck in the us cause i couldnt get a passport. i realized i missed him so much but we were just getting too close, just like anything else. if you spend too much time with anyone youre gonna get bored. just like siblings fight so much cause they spend so much time together. now what ive learned is that were just cool chilling together at home not neccesarily majorly loveydovey, just nice, and we subconsciously save the sappy shitt for when its right. good luck brah!
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 You answered your own question - your relationship has become a routine. Maybe you do the same thing every time you see each other.
Go out and do different stuff together - go to the cinema, go shopping, go for dinner or on other days out. It's nearly summer so a picnic or going to the beach would be great fun! Go out with your friends, or either yours or her family so you can become more integrated into each other's lives.
I also get the impression that you have sex quite often. Turn it down a little. My boyfriend stays over at mine roughly 4 times every week but we only have sex once or twice a week. It doesn't become boring then, it's more of a treat!
Surprise her with stuff. Do nice things when she's not expecting. She'll really appreciate it and if she loves you she'll return the favour. On monday my boyfriend bought me New Moon on DVD, and one day after college he told me he wasn't around so I went to meet a mate and there he was with a bunch of roses =] I like to surprise my boyfriend with little gifts or treats too.
If you don't have money, make her stuff! Write a Haiku or be waiting for her on she's not expecting you =]
Just make the time you spend together more valuable =]
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 Ask your g/f to get a complete change over. Go to a beautician , a hairstylist and shop for new clothes .
She would look stunning and you can fall in love with her again.
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