A
male
age
26-29,
*aymay111
writes:Im 15 and im kinda alone in the world. Im relly scared because.... when i was younger i was always the one who never cared about girls! ever! and when i was 12 i kinda figured out why! Its becaus im gay... I think? well, Am I? I never get sexuly happy when i see nude girls but if i see a nude boy, well im shur you know what happends!BAcically what im asking is, I need advice about how to tell if im gay! To tell people im gay! and not to be so self counches about it! PLeeeez help! Sincerely: Maymay111P.S. Pleaz dont judge. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (24 March 2010):
 My brother is gay and he says he has known since he was young very young, he dated a girl in high school but he said that it just didn't do it for him. He started dating men and is a very happy person. When he first came out to be honest it was not surprising to his sibling but a shock to our parents but they accepted him and love him and learned to accept his choice of life. Now him being gay he has a lot of gay friends and my brother an me being so close brought me to befriend a lot of these awesome people and they have all said they new at a young age. My brother is now married to another man and he is happy and I'm happy for him, so don't be scare to be truthful to yourself, if you are come out and be proud!
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (24 March 2010):
There are no set rules that tell you whether you are gay or not (although - being exclusively attracted to guys is probably the most telling). Even being attracted to girls, at some point, doesn't necessarily mean you're straight. I dated girls - though had only limited physical intimacy with them - all through high school and most of college. And there are definitely no set rules about whom to or when to come out.
Just be VERY aware of your surroundings (others) when doing so. At your age, you're in High School... and High School is a VICIOUS place - even if you are straight. For this reason, I would suggest only coming out to someone that 1) won't FREAK out if you do so and 2) you KNOW will not blab it out to everyone else.
At your age... you're still in the awful throws of puberty. A very confusing and brutal time for us all. There are stages of 'Coming out'. First and foremost you have to determine - for YOURSELF - if you are truly gay and PLEASE DON'T hate yourself for being gay.
Even though I 'knew' deep down inside that I was gay - at a very young age, It took me until I was 19 to finally come to grips with actually being gay... and It wasn't until I was about 24 that I could actually 'act' on it and be physically intimate with another guy - just because I was so paranoid about what everyone else thought. Subsequently, it wasn't until I was about 30 that I actually started 'coming out' to others. Once I did though, I became much more comfortable with myself... and MOST people that I've been around since... don't really care. Some even find it fascinating and/or prefer me being gay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): I don't know that at twelve you can be so sure about your sexuality. It is a confusing time for most kids at this age, you have some serious changes hormonally going on in your body and you will feel some intense feelings for friends of the same sex and mistake it for sexual feelings when really it isn't that at all. It is very common for kids in this age group to have crushes on the same sex.
I am not sure why this is but perhaps it is a time when you are forming your own identity and being male you are going to want to bond more readily with males and form who you are.
The fact that you are sexually aroused by nude male photos is not a 100% sure sign that you are in fact gay. You are too young to figure that out, you are going to feel aroused a lot for no reason what so ever and it can be confusing.
My suggestion to you is to try to come out of your shell and joing the world. Get involved in some school activitities that will allow you to easily interact with others your own age, make some friends, kiss some girls, let life happen for awhile and I am sure that you will figure your sexuality out. Every person has to go through this stage of life so don't be fearful, don't put labels on who you are right now.
Being gay is a difficult life and to choose to be gay may be a mistake for YOU, certainly do not announce to anyone that you are until you are completely sure.
I am sure it will work itself out one way or another and you can tell people later on when you are more mature and have your own identity and those that love you will love you no matter what.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): To be honest if your gay or not wouldn't make any difference just that you like the same sex.
People should still treat you the same with respect and everything.
I have a few gay mates and they are the easiest people to get on with.
I hope you figure stuff out and all works well.
Love xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): Hey there Maymay111, I'm gay and proud.
It is a scary and a weird stage in your life, being unsure if you are gay or not, i know how you are feeling. You need to take your time when telling people you are gay, it can't be rushed, and many people never come out to their family and friends.
The only way you can tell if you are gay or not is to note what you feel like, you wrote about how you find naked boy's arousing, that is a little sign there but as you might not know, quite a few straight men have felt that way at one stage. Don't lable your self gay or tell anyone untill you are 100% sure.
there is no need to be self contious about it, i would saggest talking to a close friend or a teacher that you can trust about how you fell, because they will know you better then anyone on here. But when you are fully aware of your feelings you should be proud of who you are, and don't label yourself as gay, your the same person and no need to change that, be yourself.
Take care and i hope this helps
S
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 Why do you need to tell people that you are gay?
Not all people can accept gays and there are homophobic people who will be bias and prejudiced against you .
You don't need to let the world know that you are a gay.
The disadvantage out weights the advantages.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 It is possible you may be, but dont beat yourself up over this. Everyone is different and has their own preferences, theres nothing wrong with you, its just the way you are. You feelings may change later in your life or they may not, either way accept yourself for the person you are.Personally I have never been turned on by images of the same sex, I seem to remember I was about 13 when I first became interested in girls, so I guess at age 12 onwards yes you will start noticing your sexuality.Gays are more accepted than ever before now, so dont let this hold you back and live your life to the full.
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