A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSmithee
writes:Ive slept with this guy a couple of times, and its been really great and we get on so well. but i dont know if its just me hes sleeping with or ..i just dont know?(btw its long to explain but hes your typical guy that doesnt make much effort to see me in perosn but i know part of him does like me)I cant ask him face to face becuase i wont see him, so i asked him on facebook about starting to see each other and seeing if it goes anywhere, nothing serious just hanging out and having fun like we do.But he always fails to answer, he will go idle, or start taking ages to reply. (hes been like this before and then i went on holiday for a week and he gave me the staight answer i wanted when i got back :))What should i do to get a straight answer, or if he doesnt give me one ..how can i let him know im moving on and im making his choice for him unless he gets in touch says.I find it hard to move on, without closure
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female
reader, PrincessSmithee +, writes (13 May 2009):
PrincessSmithee is verified as being by the original poster of the question aw thankyou so much. I totally agree with you :)
A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Try not sleeping with him and see if he still wants to see you....make sure he is not using you just for sex, tell him you need more from him if he is unable to give it to you then tell him your moving on, as you dont wanna play games! Getting a straight answer from a guy who probably doesnt even know what he wants is going to be very tough.....just test him out...do the 'no sex' for a lil while and see if he sticks around annd there your answer will be! If hes keen to take it to next level he will stick around, if its just a sex thing he will move and move onto next victim!
Wish you the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 May 2009):
 I think it is best to ask him face to face - make a point of asking him if he wants to "do something". You say you wont see him but you say you have been sleeping with him therefore you must see him in person for time to time. The next time you see him/sleep with him, just have the conversation with him.
Tell him you like him and you enjoy spending time with him, and you want to know if this is going anywhere. Just explain that you would like a straight answer from him and it would be good for you to know where you stand. Dont put any pressure on him by saying something like...."I really like you and want to make this offical" or "I'm looking for a serious relationship" etc as this is pretty scary to most men! Just ask him to let you know how he feels about the situation and what he wants from you - he might only want a bit of casual fun or maybe he does like you more than that. But the only way of finding this out is by talking to him properly!
Any other way of talking to him that isnt face to face will mean he has an escape route - all men hate the "where is this going" conversation and will do anything to get out of it. So facebook, email, text, etc etc wont work because as soon as you start talking about "feelings" then he can just ignore it and pretend it never happened.
It sounds to me like he doesnt want a relationship at the moment and is just enjoying having a girl who he can hang out with and have sex with. Most guys his age (based on him being the same age as you) are like this - you shouldnt expect much more. Its up to you whether you can stick around and hope he falls for you oneday or whether you want more from a man. If you want more then you need to move on and find someone who can give you what you want.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): He doesn't sound like he's willing to give you the closure you need. He wants to hang onto you in some sort of "pseudo relationship land". Which, I know, is a very frustrating place to be.
Nothing is more annoying than just not knowing. Girls do this too, so don't just think guys are the only ones that don't give direct answers.
I think you should send him something like:
"Hey, I had a thing for you, but it doesn't seem like you do or did. I'm going to just call all of this off right now. Good luck with everything."
And then, truly commit to your decision. This won't work if you keep sending other stuff. If he truly cares as you think, that message, and the action of you following through with what it says, will have him all up in your territory, trust.
If you don't hear from him after that, well then at least you know don't you.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Just tell him that you are moving on as you feel that the relationship has run its course. Don't wait on him to respond to you, tell him you are moving on, period.
It will be your closure.
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