| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: One of my half brothers,who is much older than myself,is a millionaire.Me and one of my other siblings are unemployed.We have tried very hard to find jobs though,although i have low self esteem and suffer from depression.I feel really jealous of my brother,as he has afew big houses,e.t.c.Plus he is very confident.Today,me and the family members that i live with went to look at a house,as we are thinking of moving.There were two massive bedrooms,but one of the bedrooms was too small,so that's one problem we had,the other was that my dad wanted there to be a dining room,which there wasn't one,and we wanted to put the computer in a room where we wouldnt disturb other people by being on it.I didnt see what was wrong with putting it in either the living room or kitchen area though.The house had three floors,it looked unusual,and the decoration of the house was beautiful !.I would have been moving with two family members,and they dont want to live there,because of the problems i mentioned,but i would like to move there,as it was a lovely house,they thought it looked lovely too,and because our house would have been similar to one of my brothers houses,he has one with three floors.I dont like the house we are in now,as i am cramped up in my bedroom.I didnt live in this house with my family at first,so my room was meant to just be a guest room.We were going to move for that reason and because the price of our gas has increased.I have always had problems with my family.Me and my parents don't always get along,and i suffer from depression alot.Looking at the house today has made me feel depressed again.I'm also supposed to be going to a concert with my dad this weekend,but i dont want to go now,partly because i am feeling depressed at the moment,and partly because i dont want to go with him.I dont think anyone else can make it on such short notice though.I'd like your help on how i can stop feeling depressed,and what do you think about what i have said ?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): Thanks for your replies.I would like to do some acting,even as an extra,but my dad keeps saying i should have a " proper " job,which to him is a full time job.My dad can be quite controlling,and sometiems he has a short fuse.However,i think because i am an adult,i should be able to do what i want,but since i live with him,it's difficult,as it's like i still kind of have to do what he says.I am qualified in Performing Arts.I'm also qualified in Admin and Retail,so i could do those jobs part time aswell,and i am looking for a part time job as a project worker aswell.For example,i have seen one job where i could teach media,computers and acting to people with learning difficulties.unfortunately,that job has gone now,but i could look for another job similar to that.
I know i shouldnt be jealous of my brother.Another thing is my parents got divorced,and we cant afford to live in our own house,so we have to live in a rented one.I feel embarassed whenever my brother comes here.I know I shouldnt,but i do.
The thing is,my brother only did aswell as me with his qualifications,i think,with some exams,he might have done worse.He has just got lucky with the kind of job he has.And i know that he had trouble finding jobs when he was younger too.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (1 May 2009):
 I think first of all you have to stop using so many excuses for your own life and start trying to do something about it. Yes your brother has lots of money - but it is HIS money not yours. He will have worked incredibly hard to get to where he is, becoming so successful doesnt just get handed to you on a plate. So instead of being jealous of him and wishing you had a house like his, use him as inspiration and get out there and make things happen for yourself!
Yes you have depression. So do many millions of people around the world. But they are out there working, living their lives and trying to make something out of themselves. I know depression is a horrible illness and can seriously affect all areas of your life however you need to make the decision to stop letting depression rule your life and get yourself better. Go to the doctors and get this treated - you dont have to suffer from depression; it is an illness and it can be cured.
Once you have got yourself some form of treatment for your depression the next thing you need to do is make yourself employable. Do you have any qualifications? If you only have basic qualifications then you need to get some more - go back to school, college, take adult learning classes etc etc. There are huge amounts of opportunities for you to get more qualifications (I cant be too specific because I do not know what country you live in) and if you are unemployed, then you are likely to be eligible to get some fiancial support for your further learning.
You need to realise that having a big house and lots of money isnt everything - and being jealous of someone with those things isnt going to help either. What did you dream about doing as a child? What do you want to do with your life? You are still young so there is time for you to achieve your dreams, you just need to figure out what they are and go fulfil them!
With regards to your family, you will find you get along better once you have cured your depression, so I cannot stress enough how you must see a doctor to get this sorted. Moving out into your own house will also help the situation with your family - but to become independent you need to sort your life out first.
You have two options:
1. Sit around at home moaning about your family, how your house is too small and how you are too depressed to do anything.
2. Make life happen for yourself - get treatment for the depression, get yourself some skills so you can get your dream job, get that job and earn some money, and then finally move out of the family home and into your new place paid for by your new job.
It really is that simple - only you can make your own life better, no-one is going to come rescue you. Your millionaire brother wont help you, nor will your family. It is entirely up to you to get your life back on track. Otherwise before you know it you will be 30 and still living at home with mum and dad blaming it all on your depression.
I know this may sound harsh but I think you need to hear the real truth here - sympathy will only allow you to keep blaming everything else for the way your life has turned out.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, oneandonly?  +, writes (1 May 2009):
What do you like to do? Do you like to go out? Find something that interest you and focus on that. Talk to your family more, make friends get out there and LIVE you LIFE. There are plenty of things to get into, that are legal.
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