A
female
age
30-35,
*aree02
writes: Here's the thing. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and let me tell you it was love at first sight and all. Its an amazing relationship. But something is starting to go wrong. He's becoming too clingy. My goodness is it annoying. I mean I see him every hour of the day til school ends and then he texts me the minute school ends. And the worst part is lunch...which is where we met...im here sitting next to him eating my lunch he startshugging me and putting his arms around me and trying to kiss me. Its soo ew. I like to eat in peace..its my time to think. I really don't know what to do and its already turning me off. The only time I enjoy with him is when we chill at his or my house. And that's it...please help. What do I do to stop the clingyness.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 May 2009):
I think the best thing to do is talk to him - I'm pretty sure he wont even realise he is doing it! It just seems that he really likes you and loves spending all of his time with you - he wont realise that it is a big turn off for you!
Approach the subject carefully - you dont want to hurt his feelings or make him feel that you have "gone off" him or stopped loving him etc. Just explain that you love him loads but feel a little smothered by him. Tell him that you love all the attention from him and he is the best boyfriend in the world but he is just a little too "full on" at the moment. Ask him if there is anything worrying him which might be the cause of him being so clingy - you never know you might find out he is feeling insecure or something.
Make sure you explain to him that he has done nothing wrong and you still love him just as much as before but you need to have your own space too - tell him that because you see each other all day at school that you dont need to be texting each other every 5 minutes. And make sure you explain that all the public affection makes you feel uncomfortable - all that affection should be saved for when it is just the two of you alone.
Hopefully he will undertand and try and ease off a little - but you need to bear in mind too that he is just a young guy in love with you, and things would be much worse if he never paid you any attention at all! So many girls on here moan that their partners used to be so affectionate and then all of a sudden they stopped showing any affection at all. So just remember you are lucky to have a guy who clearly loves you as much as he does and wants to show you every day. I think once you have been together a bit longer then he might calm down a little - right now is still the honeymoon phase where everything is new and amazing for him. Just give him time and I'm sure he will ease off eventually!
I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): Agree with Satin, talk to him about it, it could be really simple like he thinks thats what it takes to show you he cares, let him know less is more. It may also be a territorial thing as in hes saying Grrrr This here is Ma woman, in which case give him a kick in the crotch and after his eyes uncross hell be sensible again for a while :-)
On the brightside it shows he likes you :-)
When you speak to him emphasise the positive and explain what you want in place of the negative.
Good luck
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