A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my wife is about to give birth and I am not ready to be in the maternity ward when the process begins. I have no one else to be there with her as we are in a foreign country on our own and this is freaking me out. My wife thinks I will be there by her side, please help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Hearty congratulations to you and your wife. How wonderful that all is well. Enjoy the next while with its new joys and challenges.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello guys, good news are here! Wife gave birth to the most amazing baby girl my eyes have ever seen. Everything went on well, and the birth was by ceaserian so there was nothing for me to worry much as I shed tears fearing for her and our baby's life when we were told the heart beat of the baby had dropped. Thanks for all the wonderful replies. Cheers.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Glad we could help! Dont worry about being a bit squeamish about the birth, heck even being female myself, I would not want to look at what is going on! It is a bit gross and a little disturbing that something so large is coming out of there!
So just focus on her face, keep smiling and keep on encouraging her. You will be more help to her by giving her eye contact and encouragement rather than looking down there and then fainting! The doctors will then pass the baby back up to you wrapped in a blanket or towel so once he or she has arrived, you will be so amazed at this little thing that you wont notice any of the nasty bits.
Good luck and congratulations!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks for the wonderful responses. I think I will go with the part which k_c100 says don't look down there! I was and I have always been ready to be in the maternity ward save for that very time when she is ready to deliver! I just have this fear and that is why I am here for your wonderful advice guys. I don't mean bad, but I am just being honest and reading all these responses is making me over come this fear. I will come back here when the baby arrives and will break to you the news about how I coped. I can't wait to see my angel, born of our own blood! Be blessed guys and again, many thanks.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 May 2011):
Look, this is your wife, having your baby - yes it is scary and if it is your first child, well often many first time parents are not ready for their child to arrive! What you are feeling is normal and natural, but it doesnt mean that you wimp out and hurt your wife on the most important day of your lives.
You have the easy part - all you have to do is stand there and hold her hand! If you are squeamish or dont want to look 'down there' you dont have to, you can just hold her hand and look at her face, rather than what is going on down below.
If you dont go to the birth, you will regret it for the rest of your life. All my friends and family who have had babies have said it is the most magical thing to be handed your child for the first time, regardless of how scared you are of being a parent. One of my friend's who has just had a baby, his girlfriend tricked him and got pregnant without him knowing - he did not want the child at all. He asked her to get rid of it multiple times but she refused - he was the least 'ready' person on earth to become a dad! But of course he was there in the hospital because it was the 'right' thing to do, and when she arrived (his little girl) he said everything changed - the fear went out of the window, and all he felt was love for this little baby.
Try not to panic yourself over this, you are just nervous and this is natural. But dont let your nerves get the better of you - you are a husband and you need to be strong for your wife, she needs you to be there so you will be, because you made vows to be there for her through anything. And once the baby is born, you will no longer be scared and not feeling ready will vanish.
It will all be fine, I promise. Just be brave, do the right thing by your wife and enjoy this wonderful moment!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 all i have to say is that you better figure out a way to get ready, and soon! just imagine...if you think YOU'RE not ready, imagine how she's feeling. she's the one that has to squeeze a 7-8 pound human being out of her body. all you have to do is be there for her. you've got the easy part, my friend. this isn't something you can just pawn off on a friend, even if you had someone around that would be willing to go. you're the father, and your support is waaaay more important than any friend she could have by her side. you two created this child, therefore, you two need to be together when the child is born. be there for her, man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): It's so important that you be there with her. Just concentrate on giving her comfort and your undivided attention. If possible, make an appointment to talk with the hospital chaplain, who can give you a pep talk. :)
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (18 May 2011):
You haven't said what your concerns are about being in the room. Are you afraid you'll faint? Afraid of blood? If you tell us why exactly you can't be there perhaps we can help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): DONT YOU DARE BLOW THIS DUDE.
You get your A** in there, suck it up, take her abuse while she is screaming in pain, and help her welcome the most important miracle that will ever happen to you.
YOU WILL BE BY HER SIDE. Just hold her hand, tell her you love her, and deal with whatever comes out of her mouth.
If you have time, you might want to scan a bradley book. This is your child coming into the world. Be there to bond with him or her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Why are you not able to cope with the natural outcome of pregnancy? And why have you lied to your wife about this?If you want to be a hero for her, go get yourself whatever assistance you need to get through the birth process with her. She's the one going through labor. The least you could do is show up and hold her hand.You could buy a plane ticket for her mother and/or sister; do that STAT if you really and truly have no intention of showing up for the birth of your child.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Are you ever going to be ready? You need to be in there with her so when the time comes, muster up all the courage you can and step into that ward and be by her side. I swear to you, the process isn't as horrible as television depicts it to be. You really have nothing to worry about. I mean for heaven's sake, its not you squeezing a baby out, it's your wife! How scared do you think she is right now? You know you need to be there with her, and you'll have no excuse if you aren't.I hope that helps.
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