A
male
age
30-35,
*nickx
writes:There's this girl, we want to date. or not even date, its just we are so insanely happy when we are together... i told her i hate people like us because when youre over on the other side of the room, and you look, it just makes you sick how happy we are lol.I just turned 18. I'll be going to college about 4 hours away in the fall. She's going to be a sophomore in high school next year. she turns 16 in february. Also, she is adopted, so her mom is extremely protective. after she broke up with her last boyfriend, her mom said she didnt want her to date until shes 16, and made a point to reinforce this point to her today.I understand the protective aspect. its just im a little frusturated. im the kinda guy that parents love. i still talk to ALL of my ex-girlfriends mothers to this day from time to time. And its not like she doesnt know me either. And she seems like she likes me, a lot. i just spent 2 weeks with her at her church, helping out with their vaction bible school. her mom was there with us the whole time. She treats me differently than other guys… she makes me food, etc. she’ll treat me like she treats her son lol.Im legit up for doing whatever her mom wants. Whatever rules she has etc... just i want to see her. after tonight, and after sunday which is my grad party, idk when ill be able to see her again… Im totally up to wait till she turns 16 to officially date. Weve already decided we’ll be exclusive for now atleast, even though we wont be able to see each other till who knows when.And I really want to tell her mom this. Sunday. Because idk when ill see her next and im impatient. But at the same time im scared about it too. We are fairly obvious about it liking each other, so her mom has to know atleast something. I mean, I don’t think we ever actually touch when other people are around, its just were always like 2 inches apart, and go everywhere with each other when we can. I just don’t want to do anything to screw future chances… but then again, I feel that if I don’t tell her mom, her mom wont trust us as much and will constantly think were sneaking around behind her back…Help? (esp. moms would be appreciated)Please and thanks,nick.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 I guess you are just going to have to sit down, the three of you (the girl you like, her mom and you) together and talk about it. If you and your girl talk to her together, that will be better than you going up to the mom alone. With the girl there, she will have to listen to her daughter's point of view whereas if it were you alone, she could just ignore what you want to be honest because after all, you are not her son so she doesnt care about your opinions like she will her daughter's.
Be honest with her mom like you have been here - tell her that you really like each other and make each other very happy and want to be together, but you are happy to follow any rules she sets and you want to make sure you are honest and upfront about everything at all times.
Hopefully she will appreciate that you have come to her rather than hiding it, and if you say right away that you are happy to wait until she is 16, or happy to follow her rules then she will know that you are not making a stance that you will be together and she just has to get on with it - you are asking for her approval and for her rules so you can keep her happy, and she will see that and hopefully appreciate that.
I cant say how her mom will react - no-one can predict that, and because of your age that might go against you, but all you can do is be honest and open with her, and hope for the best.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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