A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've really liked this girl at work for the past few months, I've been non-stop flirting with her and she seemed to be in to me as well. Then we went to a movie, but it didn't end up being a date, just like friends hanging out. And all the stuff she wants to do with me, just friend stuff.Today, she was telling me this story and then she let slip that the guy she's 'sort of seeing' is blah blah blah. So all in all, pretty much what has happened is I've become one of her really good friends and she just told me that she's seeing someone.This sucks, cause I really liked her and I was positive she was in to me, and this is the first time i've ever fallen for a girl that goes totally against my principles and I don't care. She does marijuana (which I absolutely hate) but for some reason I don't care, I still like her. And theres more stuff which would usually piss me off, but again i don't care.As well, she is not the prettiest girl I've ever seen and not the girl I always dreamed about, the complete opposite in fact. She's hot, don't get me wrong, but she's no model and I know I could do better. Somehow though, this is not really helping me get over her. I know there are a lot better catches out there, and I could get better but I seem to have embraced her imperfections, she has become perfect. Any suggestions on getting over her?
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (23 June 2011):
Sounds like infatuation. That is chemistry that will fade with time and as you get involved with other things and people.
You do not have ANY good reasons listed here why you should be with her, but you have plenty of reasons why you should not.
In fact, you put her down quite a bit. What is so hard to get over?
Perhaps you just do not like that she is with someone ELSE?
Thats not love, that is just jealousy because someone is not fawning over you.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 June 2011):
There is no magic formula for getting over someone, all you can do is give it time and put some distance between you and her. Staying close friends with someone you have feelings for is a recipe for disaster and will only keeped you hooked, so you need to back off a bit, see her and talk to her much less frequently so you give yourself the space to get over her.
Sorry there is nothing more I can add - it is hard to get over someone you like and it takes time unfortunately, you cant rush it or just wish you are over someone, you have to be patient and try and stay away from her as much as you can for a while until you have moved on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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