A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm interested in your opinions.My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for over 3 years and talking about marriage, he came to me and asked what I would prefer, the $7000 ring he still had, the diamonds from that ring remodelled, or for the ring to be sold and a new ring bought with the proceeds. I told him, that as lovely as the ring was, I was not really into wearing another womans ring. So he sold the ring, for $3500. And like so many couples looking to get married we went looking at rings. I pointed out some simple solitaire diamonds, worth around the $3000 that I thought were pretty. I remember feeling like a princess, because I'd never owned a diamond before.Some months afterwards, he proposed to me with a very simple gem stone dress ring, which I discovered later to be worth only a couple hunded dollars. It was a sliver of opal pressed between resin, one you shouldn't get wet, so its not even the kind of ring you can wear all the time.I told him I was disappointed with it, I was secretly hoping for a diamond, and something I could wear all the time. But deep down, I was devastated to know, that the proceeds from the ring sale actually had gone onto a car he is doing up. Infact $6000, he has spent on it this year alone.It's not his main car, but a hobby car in his garage.I am really struggling with feeling unworthy. His ex fiancee before me was gorgeous, and I admit I'm not in her same league. I feel like a girl like me is only worth a cheap ring. Silly I know. But somewhere deep I was excited about having something special. I've never owned anything really special before. As hard as I try I can't seem to get past that he must have loved his car and his ex more than he loves me right now. It feels like so little thought and effort has gone into the ring.I know its just a ring. And I love him so very much. But I guess I was hoping for the fairy tale. Its hard not to feel disappointed and even a little hurt.Am I being selfish? Is the engagement ring a token of how much a man really loves his woman? Or is it just a silly ring?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): Thankyou ogz. Big hugs for your comments.
I have felt so hurt over all this. It means alot that everyone has confirmed my feelings as meaningful and not dismissed them.
Not sure what my plans are now. Maybe the ring is a sign of bigger issues.
Thankyou all.
A
male
reader, bogz  +, writes (23 June 2011):
woah!.. I recently got out of an engagement, and right now, I still have the ring I gave her.. I don't really have plans for it, I'll just probably give it to my mom. but anyway, the fact that he offered you the same ring she gave her first fiancee is bad enough, but giving you something less than your worth is worse.. I mean, people don't really have prices on them, and that's not what I mean. I would understand him if he was broke or something, and that in the past he was actually doing better for himself, but you mentioned that he actually spent more on his car than on your ring.. woah! one word, disrespectful. If you really love this guy, you should be honest with him, tell him how disappointed you are. If he will think of you as shallow for making a fuss over a ring, then be it, just don't live with this feeling and don't settle, never tell yourself that you are not worth a diamond ring, every girl in this world deserves their own diamond ring, and you are not an exception..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Male anon reader, who bought his girl an emerald ring... You know her the best. Not all women would want a diamond, but the general idea is to have a diamond. If she'd want emerald, and she enjoys something unique, you know her the best, so just go for it. But also, women who are engaged would, for most part, want to brag about it and show the ring. If the ring can't be worn all the time, because it'd be ruined or worn out (not real gold, or something that can't get wet), then it's not a ring she can wear as a signal of her relationship status. Which is what most women want, in the places where engagement rings are common.
If the emerald ring can be worn all the time, I'm sure your girl would want to wear it as often as she could as well. Some, in fact most women I know of, wear their engagement ring like a wedding ring (bad fortune to take it off).
In this particular case, the man knew he should have gotten her a diamond, as that's what he'd gotten the last fiance, and that's what they were ring shopping for as well. It was quite in the open.
I started by saying that all is relative, and what I said in this thread is relative to this thread only.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): Normally, I'd say you are shallow for expecting a certain type, size, value ring. But in this case, if he truly only spent a few hundred so he could modify his car, he is not valuing his relationship with you as he should.
I was recently in a very similar situation. I am a competitive cyclist, and desperately needed a new bike and some upgrades so I could race nationals this year. However, I am in love, and wanted to buy my girl an engagement ring. I am also unemployed and have limited savings. SO it was the bike or the ring. Even though she was supportive of the new bike and even helped save for one, I spent the money on the ring. We are both extatic.
The moral...solo endeavors come along at whim. We can pick them up and put them down at any time. Chances to love and live only happen if you are lucky.
I do NOT think he needs to spend at least $7K on you or anything that exact. And you should NOT have stringent expectations of size, weight or any of that bullshit. But he does need to evaluate what would impress or please you and he should take as much excitement and joy in that as you would. That is what love is about. Remember the gift of the Magi? That is what I'm saying.
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A
male
reader, freeme  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 I really think this man has insulted you. I think you need to stand up for yourself and walk away with your head held high. I'm usually the last person in the world to say something like this over the value of a ring, but in this situation it was an insult.
Every guy reading this knows what this guy has to do. But if anyone suggests it to him, he will resent it for life. This is a very difficult situation at this point, and yes I think you will always think less of yourself because of it. You have dignity, move on.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 I think you have reasons to feel let down and no, it's not about being materialistic.
Mind you, I can also perfectly see his point, after what happened with his ex fiancee' it's normal he'd be a bit gun shy about spending on an engagement ring. But then, why putting up all the big production ? making you choose between the 7000 ring as it was, or another bought with the provents of its sale ? Why taking you seeing rings and asking for your preferences ? ... He created specific expectations only to disappoint them , which is not very considerate.
Also I think it's the tackiest thing ever that the provents of the old ring sale ended to be 200 for your opal, and the rest for his car. Then, he might as well have given you the ring from the top of a Coke can ( 1 USD ) and kept all the rest, technically this way too your ring would have come from the provents of the sale !
It's like he took your engagement as an excuse to spend some extra cash on his car.
Now , it's true that a ring is just a silly ring...., but then, also his extra car is just a silly car,isn't it.
As for what stone is most appropriate for an engament ring, that's more a debate for jewellers, or for Martha Stewart's fans, - that's not the point .
The poster who got his fiancee an emerald because she likes green, did well and showed a nice personal touch in considering his girl's tastes.
But the OP had clearly expressed her tastes : diamond ring. And she had been led to believe that her choice was well within his budget.
Now, is this something worth calling off the wedding ? No, it was not SUCH a blunder and he'll hopefully have a lifetime to make it up to you . But, when you ask if you are selfish : no, HE is the selfish one, with his ...engagement car !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): OP here,
Thankyou to everyone who has commented and added their advice.I am definitely struggling with this issue and appreciate your responses.
When I first told him I was disappointed in the ring, I was so scared of hurting his feelings. I told him that the ring wasn't able to get wet, and therefore was not the kind of ring I could wear to work, or on most given days even. I told him I was proud of being engaged to him and would love to have a ring I could wear all the time to symbolise it.
He was shitty at first. He said he was angry at himself for wasting money on it. And then told me, that there was no money left from the sale of the first engagement ring, so he didn't know how to fix it.
I have been looking at other rings. Dreaming I suppose.
I know for a fact that the money was spent on his car project. In some ways the car has become more important at the moment than our engagement. He wants to finish it, so spends alot of time working on it.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm the one being selfish, or he is.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 OP - what did he say when you told him you were disappointed with it?
I think you have every right to be upset, and no you are not being selfish at all. The main issue is that he took you out shopping to look at rings, you showed him what you liked and then he deliberately bought something else despite knowing what you wanted - that is harsh. If he was never going to buy a diamond then he shouldnt have taken you out shopping so you wouldnt have gotten your hopes up.
You do need to keep your fiance's point of view in your mind though - he may well be worried that if he bought another expensive ring and then this all goes wrong, he will lose a lot of money again (after all, selling the ring for less than half its original value is hard to swallow).
What you need to do, before you get married or anything else progresses - talk to him about the ring. Explain that you cannot wait to marry him, you love him very much and you are so happy to be spending the rest of your life with him. However you are hurt by the ring situation, because he took you out looking for rings and you had, naturally, got your hopes up when you saw some diamond rings that you really liked. Explain that compared to the $7000 he spent on his ex, you now feel unworthy compared to her and feel like second best. Tell him you dont want him to spend that kind of money again on a ring, and you know that the marriage itself is far more important than the ring - but he had raised your hopes by taking you out to look at rings and that the engagement ring he has given you makes you feel like he values you less than his ex. Tell him you have been trying not to sound ungrateful or materialistic but an engagement ring is a symbol of affection and intention, so if you compare the prices of the two rings, it is hard not to be hurt when you feel his affection was much stronger and intention was far more serious towards his ex.
An engagement ring, in its purest form is there to indicate a formal agreement to marriage. It symbolises that the giver of the ring loves the recipient and intends to spend the rest of their life with that person. What you chose to read into that is up to you - technically any ring will fulfil this, regardless of cost, gemstone etc. Alternatively, especially when he has bought a more expensive one in the past, you can see this as that he loved his ex more because he was willing to spend more on her, therefore displaying an increased committment to her compared to you and that he was more serious about spending the rest of his life with her. Or, maybe he was just younger and more naieve, and now the bad experience with her has tainted the whole experience and he is being cautious with you.
Either way, I suggest you sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel, and what his reasons for buying you a cheap ring are. He may well be scared of it going wrong again, but you need him to explain this to you otherwise you are right, it will rear its ugly head in the future and you will always have a nagging doubt that he thought more of his ex than you. If you dont talk about it and resolve it now, it will only cause you problems in the future.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (20 June 2011):
I haven't read all the answers here so I post at the risk of repeating myself.
I personally think that if you are considering spending the rest of your life with this man and making the committment of marriage, then you should talk to him about this. I honestly think I too would be upset if the same happened to me. What I don't understand is why he asked you/took you shopping to look at rings in the first place, but then opted for this other ring. That would have led me to think that I would be getting some sort of bling as well, so I guess some of your hurt is coming from the disappointment based on his other actions.
I know your argument does have a risk of sounding materialistic but I do feel you need to be honest with this man. I imagine he probably hasn't even realised you are upset, let alone why. I think you need to explain to him wha the problem is, especially, as you say, if you are worried about this issue coming up again further down the line.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (20 June 2011):
 i would be annoyed at him too. yes of course 'a ring is just a ring' but this is your ENGAGEMENT ring we are talking about here. a once in a lifetime event not just a random gift. the fact that he spent so much on his ex'x ring and then for the relationship to fail and THEN to have have gained a lot less money from the rings sale than he paid for it originally may have taught him a lesson against being so lavish - but if he is truly serious about YOUR engagement and subsequent marriage then he really should have done better for you than a dress ring, especially since he led you to think you would be having a diamond solitaire.
the ring should not be a deal breaker though if the rest of your relationship is good so i hope you can work things out
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): The old saying OPAL rings, should only be worn by october born....or tears......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): OP here.So my thoughts are, feeling so hurt about this, if I do continue with the marriage, will the hurt go away, or will it over shadow our marriage.Everytime theres a problem in our marriage, will the ring issue also raise its ugly head again. How do I not take it so personally. Its like I am seeing the ring as proof as I'm not lovable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): Wow. I don't agree with this:"And everyone knows, a real engagement ring comes with a diamond."Is that really how most women think? I bought my girlfriend an emerald ring because I know she likes the color green and the ring was gorgeous to my eye (platinum art deco style). Because emeralds are soft stones, she probably won't be able to wear it every day - although as much as it cost me I am not sure I'd want her to anyway. Now I feel like I made a mistake.
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male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (19 June 2011):
 My first reaction was to tell you to quit being so materialistic, but on second thought I think you are justified in your feelings. (Thank God I read the whole question!)That being said, you are walking on mine-filled grounds right now. I agree with much of what has been said, especially Eddie85. But I think something that hasn't been really hashed out is what could be going through his head. First of all, the previous failed engagement is obviously the major contributing factor here, and that alone leads me to suggest you give him a little room for explanation. This may be a great opportunity, actually, for you two to have some important discussions that maybe haven't been had. Is he testing you? Not a great way to do it, but guys can be very clumsy about these kind of things.Another possibility is that he has gotten some (very) bad advice. When guys are dealing with matters such as these, they very often seek advice from friends and family because they just don't know the best way to go about things. He could very well have gotten some advice that, since the first girl did what she did, maybe he needs to see what your true intentions are. Awful way to go about things, but if it is because of bad advice then at least it was an honest blunder.Has he given any indication during your relationship that marriage and relationships are less important since that awful experience? I could imagine if I had been treated in that way by a woman that I loved, and thought loved me, I would probably be much less likely to invest a lot in the future. And that would mean he needs some counseling. Really.As for this being an opportunity, it is time to have a talk with him. It is perfectly understandable that you sit down with him, and explain exactly why this is bothering you so much. And be sure to put emphasis on how buying a ring that is worth a tenth as much as the last engagement ring would inevitably make you feel less important.***Please read this: Guys very often would absolutely not make the connection between "ring costs a tenth as much, therefore he loves me a tenth as much". He could be thinking about other things he has done to show you the depth of his love, and hoping this is not something that you will stick on, specifically because of his previous failed engagement.***He could be a little ignorant, he could have gotten bad advice, he could be testing you. You have every right to have this discussion with him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): You do realise that the whole 'diamond engagement ring' thing was a marketing ploy developed in the early 20th century to sell diamonds, right? In fact the 'diamonds are a girl's best friend' thing was actually the slogan.I understand why you are upset, you don't go and promise one thing and deliver another.But really, this whole engagement ring situation is a joke. Why should it have to be a damned diamond that was likely dug out of the ground by some African kid?Opal and pearls, Sapphire, Ruby are all much prettier gems that can be bought for much less. The only difference is there was never a massive marketing scheme designed to sell them.So while you have a reason to be angry (ie. he took the money you had agreed would be spent on an engagement ring and he spent it on something for himself) try to not get too caught up in this completely manufactured tradition of diamonds being the ONLY acceptable form of symbolism to inform the world of intended nuptials.Flynn 24
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 June 2011):
Everything is relative, of course a ring in itself doesn't matter as much as the promise to stay together forever, or the act of actually getting married (so many just stay engaged for the entire relationship..). So no, a ring is just a ring, in most cases. But, all is relative like I said, and this this particular case, the choice of ring matters a whole lot.
I'd be devastated as well if I were you, to the point where I don't think I'd even accept the ring! If it's something you can't even wear all the time?! What was he thinking?! And everyone knows, a real engagement ring comes with a diamond. Sure, if he was broke, had no money, or had no idea what engagement rings were supposed to look like, came from a country where engagement rings aren't used etc etc etc, if he even had an excuse! But he doesn't have an excuse for this. He knows exactly what a godo engagement ring looks like, he even ASKED YOU what ring you would perefer, and he knew perfectly well, from going ring sightseeing with you, what you wanted.
Then how dare he show up with some, excuse me, piece of crap?
The offer on table at the beginning was a ring worth 7000. The second option was a new ring.. and I assume, like you, that it would be a ring worth just as much at least! It isn't about price, as you'd be perfectly happy with something worth half of the original ring.
So, first off there's the ring in itself, and the anticipation he built up by informing you of the value of the first ring, and then go looking at nice diamond rings with you. Then show up with something that in comparison to the expected ring is rubbish. That's one thing. The other thing is the point you raise up yourself: that you are now given the impression of being worth less than this other woman, heck he even valies his hobby car more than you.
This isn't right. You should come before some stupid car, and I hope you let him know the ring isn't accepted. In best case scebario this is him being an oblivious bloke who doesn't understand us women and why this matters. Which is why you need to tell him how it works.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I find it very odd that he actually took you ring shopping and then bought something completely different. I would also be very offended in a situation like yours. But I wouldn't wear a cheap ring I don't like and which I am embarrassed to show to my friends and tell them this is my engagement ring. If I were you I'd give back the ring and say we are still engaged, but either get me a real ring or I am not going to wear a ring.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I think your feelings are justified in this place. Your fiancee definitely took you window shopping for a diamond engagement ring and you guys both more or less agreed on a certain ring. When it came time to actually proposing, he gave you one of significantly less value. Did he ever say why he bought you the one that he did?
His actions are eyebrow-raising to say the least. I could understand the "bait and switch" routine if he was putting the money towards a honeymoon, your wedding, or a house, but to invest it in his car reeks of self-indulgence.
While, I wouldn't compare the cost of the ring he gave his ex-girlfriend with the one of yours as to indicate that he loves you less. Let's face it, finances in one's life change and he obviously had more disposable income when he was with her.
Nor would I equate that the more money a man spends upon a woman as saying that he loves her more. Some men are very generous in that regard and have more to spend at various times in their lives. I know I have more money now than when I was 20 and 30 but it doesn't mean I loved the women I was with any less.
The questions you need to ask yourself is that do you like the ring, regardless of its cost? Are you in love with this man and does he treat you well? Will you be proud to stand by his side as you go through the rest of your lives? If the answers are yes, then I think you let bygones be bygones. You are going to have the same relationship whether he buys you are a $10,000 ring or a $500 ring.
In closing, I would like to echo maverick's closing statement: "an engagement ring is a ritual. True love is expressed through actions, not gifts"
Good luck and congratulations on your engagement.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (19 June 2011):
Wow. This is a hard pill to swallow for sure. I agree that the value of the ring should never be an issue, but in this situation it kind of is. First off, a diamond is almost standard for engagements. Secondly, he sank the money into a car instead of you. So not only are you feeling like old girlfriend was somehow worth more to him, it seems the car was as well. Is it selfish of you to be hurt? I don't think you can control your emotions, so being hurt is what it is. The question now before you seems to be, does he value me the same as he valued his previous girlfriend. Regardless of his reasons, I think the obvious answer is that his outlook on commitment has changed somewhat. He was probably devastated and humiliated by what happened with the $7000 ring. He may even have some (unjustified, but understandable) resentment toward you for 'making' him sell the ring. Should any of that matter to you? I think you need to understand it, and understand him. But I think he needs to understand you as well. At this point you will always question (whether its right to do so or not DOESN'T matter) where you stand in his life. That isn't a healthy way to start a marriage. I think you should confront him, and explain that you understand where he is, but ask that he understand you. I am not one to run out and buy expensive jewellery for a girl. I hate what it stands for. I hate that women judge my love for them based on what I'm willing to spend. But in this situation I completely understand why you are hurt. And I think it is somewhat justified. Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): How do you know that he isn't planning on getting you a better ring?I had an expensive ring custom designed and manufactured for me. It took a long time to make and there were some problems during the process which made it take even longer. Litigation was even considered at one point. The ring was delivered to me months late. In the meantime, I really wanted to propose to my girlfriend for various reasons and a couple of good opportunities were slipping away. One reason was her family was leaving the country and I wanted to do it while they were still here (though not necessarily with them present).I went out and bought a $250 ring. It did have a gemstone in it and was real gold (not a paste ring). I used that to propose to her. I didn't tell her about the other ring, because at that point I wasn't sure I would ever receive it. Now I have the other ring and I am going to surprise her with it. When you told him you were disappointed what did he say?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): You sound like me and my situation.
I too would feel upset but what we fail to realise is that we only expect nice things because our men have spoilt us and turned us into materialistic princess's.
Your boyfriend should have been straight with you and told you that the proceeds of the sale would not all go on your ring. He led you on and got your hopes up- that's were he's wrong!
Now its time to come back down to earth and like the post before states ...if he hadn't told you about his past then you wouldve been made up with the ring he got you.
Relationships like this, were our men make us feel special and shower us with gifts, only work if we remember to keep our feet on the ground and realise that we arnt always going to get what we want. So what, he spent the money on his car. When your married he will more than likely spoil you rotten and buy you a bigger ring if you wish- because you will be married and he will know his investments arnt going to waste.
For now though try an be happy at finnally getting engaged.
Congratulations
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female
reader, SillyB +, writes (19 June 2011):
 No you are NOT selfish. Alot of people will tell you its the thought that counts and the symbolism of the ring. However, it also displays how much the man thinks your worth (relative based on his wages) and his understanding of what will make you glow/happy/excited.
I see where he is coming from - he was engaged, had his heart broken and was left with a very expensive ring not knowing what to do with it. However, him even offering you his ex's ring shows a lack of sensitivity.
Your ring should have been worth $7000 or even more...if he had any sense in him! You do not give your second fiance a ring worth less or of a lesser quality. He simply lacks sensitivity in giving you something so meaningful and special, but at a discounted price and quality (as compared to the first fiance). It doesn't matter how hurt he was before, he should not have lowered the quality of the ring for the woman that will be his wife!!
You should have spoken up as soon as you were ring shopping that you expect something comparable. But, it sounds like you have some insecurities and perhaps thought you didn't deserve more? $3000 was already more than expected, you love him and its the symbolism that matters....however, you opened the door for him to really go below his means - thinking you won't mind if he cheapens out on this one and be a little selfish (keep the extra money for himself).
A confident who feels she deserves everything plus some, would have spoken up. No you are not selfish, this displays what he believes you are worth and what it takes to make you happy. I'd be very upset. You are giving this man a commitment for life, your body for children while he is sealing this commitment with a cheap ring? No, this is wrong.
You need to talk to him. Make it clear how devasted you are, how this makes you feel and that you cannot believe that he would give another woman a better/more beautiful ring, while you get a gem/random metal. You are worth more.
You need to also evaluate whether this is a trend throughout the relationship. Do you think of yourself as less than his ex? Do you allow him to treat you with less sensitivity and care because you don't think you are worth it? Do you feel you do not deserve the most/best from him because you're not at par with other women/his ex?
Sometimes, the way we expect others to treat us is the way we are treated.
Its time to stand up for yourself in all areas. You deserve everything plus more. Why commit to a man that doesn't believe this also?
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female
reader, SillyB +, writes (19 June 2011):
No you are NOT selfish. Alot of people will tell you its the thought that counts and the symbolism of the ring. However, it also displays how much the man thinks your worth (relative based on his wages) and his understanding of what will make you glow/happy/excited.
I see where he is coming from - he was engaged, had his heart broken and was left with a very expensive ring not knowing what to do with it. However, him even offering you his ex's ring shows a lack of sensitivity.
Your ring should have been worth $7000 or even more...if he had any sense in him! You do not give your second fiance a ring worth less or of a lesser quality. He simply lacks sensitivity in giving you something so meaningful and special, but at a discounted price and quality (as compared to the first fiance). It doesn't matter how hurt he was before, he should not have lowered the quality of the ring for the woman that will be his wife!!
You should have spoken up as soon as you were ring shopping that you expect something comparable. But, it sounds like you have some insecurities and perhaps thought you didn't deserve more? $3000 was already more than expected, you love him and its the symbolism that matters....however, you opened the door for him to really go below his means - thinking you won't mind if he cheapens out on this one and be a little selfish (keep the extra money for himself).
A confident who feels she deserves everything plus some, would have spoken up. No you are not selfish, this displays what he believes you are worth and what it takes to make you happy. I'd be very upset. You are giving this man a commitment for life, your body for children while he is sealing this commitment with a cheap ring? No, this is wrong.
You need to talk to him. Make it clear how devasted you are, how this makes you feel and that you cannot believe that he would give another woman a better/more beautiful ring, while you get a gem/random metal. You are worth more.
You need to also evaluate whether this is a trend throughout the relationship. Do you think of yourself as less than his ex? Do you allow him to treat you with less sensitivity and care because you don't think you are worth it? Do you feel you do not deserve the most/best from him because you're not at par with other women/his ex?
Sometimes, the way we expect others to treat us is the way we are treated.
Its time to stand up for yourself in all areas. You deserve everything plus more. Why commit to a man that doesn't believe this also?
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 June 2011):
Hmm, though I can certainly understand where you're coming from you have to look at it from his perspective as well. He spent his savings on his ex fiancee, spending 7000 dollar on her ring alone. The relationship failed and he only got 3500 back for the ring, half of what it was worth. That's a bitter pill to swallow.
I'm sure that after that failure, he said to himself--actually said it-- that he would never be so naive and stupid again. Not just because he lost so much cash on a ring, but because he so blindly invested into someone who turned out not to be worth it.
And then you come along. He loves you, but he loved someone before who disappointed him and I think he's playing safe for now. A ring is no guarantee for happiness. If he hadn't told you about his past and just bought the ring for you, I'm sure your reaction would have been different.
I think he wanted to be truthful to you and that's why he told you about his ex fiancee and what happened. I'm sure he didn't want you to feel inferior. I think he just wanted you to know everything about him--no secrets.
In my opinion, an engagement ring is a ritual. True love is expressed through actions, not gifts.
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