A
male
age
30-35,
*ndreC
writes:I have a problem I have been living in another country for 9 months and that is also how long I have been away from my girlfriend. We are trying to make this work and we are almost there but the problem is that I get mad when she mentions that she is going out with her friends because I get the feeling that she shouldnt be having fun without me and i get jealous and I feel used because it seems to me that she shouldnt be smiling having fun without me without me being around.Can someone help me to control my jealousy emotion?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): DUDE!
She is so banging another guy(s) already. This has happened to me like 3 times now so I totally know. It's too late and you should yell at her on the phone and call all the time to make her feel bad. The next step is getting back together and saying you are sorry and you just want to be with he so bad it makes you crazy. Repeat these two steps every week until you visit again.
Also: cheat on her. She's doing it to you (probably) so get drunk and sleep with anyone available. Fat, ugly, old, whatever.. just get it done so you feel like you are back in charge.
A
male
reader, AndreC +, writes (9 July 2007):
AndreC is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank u guys u guys rixck thx for the help!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 Hi thereI think, you should ask yourself, what the real reason is, you are jealous. Do you think she will see other guys? Or is it realy that you can not be with her and have fun with her? Could it be that you don't have much fun in the country you are living at the moment? Are you sure you would be happy to know, she is sitting there all day crying that you are not with her? Going out an having fun with others, especially with some friends, is making her feel good and it realy helps to forget about the pain that you are not with her. It will help her to get over the fact she is missing you, but it doesn't mean, she is missing you less.Try to find some friends in the new country and go out with them and have fun yourself. Time will feel shorter and you will feel more happy.Will you see her soon? Will you go back to the country she lifes? Will she come on holiday to visit you? In this case you could go out together and share all the things you would do on your own on other days.Send her an e-mail every day and tell her how much you love her. And, do you have skype? The internet calling system you can call for free? Just make an apointment by e-mail to hear each other on skype. Send her post cards and letters and do everything you can to show her how much you love her and miss her. I'm sure you will feel better and she will be happy to know you are loving her.Hope that helps a little!
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (8 July 2007):
 You posted the same question a couple of days ago. What are you expecting to hear this time? Is there something you're searching for that we didn't already tell you. I fear you're losing the battle with your jealousy and should consider getting some professional help. If you're obsessing about this, you'll lose. You can't outrun your brain.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fidelity-ET  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I think this is just a case of you being slightly insecure. You feel that just because you're not there, she shouldn't go on with her life.
If you truly love her, then you'll want her to be happy. Surely you'd prefer that over her staying in the house just waiting for you, how bad a boyfriend would that make you?
There shouldn't really be a need to worry if she tells you she's going out with friends, its just socialising. Think about it, she could feel the same way with you being away in another country.
...............................
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 It sounds like you want her to be miserable if you're not there. You should want what's best for her, if you love her.
Don't put her into a position where she stops telling you about her life. Telling you that she's going out with her friends means that it's totally harmless. But if you make her feel bad when she's just living her life, then she'll stop sharing.
Going out with her girlfriends is much better than finding a new boyfriend. Stop badgering her and be happy for her.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 No one can help you control your emotions. Only you can do that. We can offer help, though.
It seems to me that you're insecure as to whether she will dump you because you're away. I saw your other post and this is the strong impression the two give.
If there is any foundation to your thinking that she could dump you, well, try to get her to talk. If there is no foundation, don't sweat it.
People can have friends and fun without us being there. I suppose you go out sometime for a beer or something, and she isn't there with you.
At the most practical level, if you get mad, don't tell her. She won't like it. Stick to her and, when you return, your current fears won't make any sense at all. You'll be able to leave them behind.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
