A
male
age
41-50,
*mluder
writes:I'm happily married but I've had this crush on a female co-worker for a long time. How do I make it go away?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Alis  +, writes (9 July 2007):
Hi,
It seems to me that if you have had this crush for some time, it may have become more than a crush. Does your colleague feel the same way? Is she married?
From experience, it seems to me that if it was just a crush, it would have gone away after a few weeks. If some time means months than there is a problem in your marriage. If you are happily married as you say than this would not have lasted as long.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, then move on. But it is worst if you try and keep your wife and have a relationship with someone else at the same time, then everybody will get hurt. If your co-worker knows you are married, she would be hesitant in having a relationship.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 You don't have to make it go away because you're already happily married. You have to understand the mechanics of what it is....NOTHING....when compared to the LOVE of your wife. You MUST understand the big picture of what LOVE is. If you can't mange to do that, you will give in to temptation many times throughout your lonely life. And one day, you will feel hollow and lonely.
You WILL from time to time get crushes. Sometimes it's easy to avoid because it might just be someone you see on the bus everyday. Other times it might be someone you see at a social club twice a week. Other times it might be someone you work with everyday. Whatever it is, recognize it for what it is and have integrity. Do not flirt or try to convince yourself it's OK to play with fire.
As the flirting intensifies, your mind and body react to the feeling and you begin to go too far. At the same time, everything your wife does that bothers you will be magnified 100 times. Everything the other lady does will also be magnified but in a good light. You will make yourself fall into the trap and before yo know it !@#$ !!!! You've gone too far.
Have integrity and do the right thing. Enjoy your crush for what it is. Nothing more that a visual delight. Remember, this will happen to your wife too. What would you expect her to do?
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (8 July 2007):
 Crushes and love are two very different things, would you plan to break up your marriage just for a crush?
Try and steer clear of her, keep it a proffesional relationship. Dont risk your marriage.
xxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I'm not sure that you can make it go away, unless of course you are willing to leave your job so you do not see her again.
It will probably fade away in time as long as you know not to over step that line with her then whats the problem, just try and keep your friendship professional.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 Remind yourself of how happy your relationship with your wife is. This is just a crush, this is all it is, don't let a crush get in the way.
You took the vows of marriage with this woman, don't break them because of a crush.
Take care. xx
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