A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Have used this site before and it helped me out a lot so I hope it can this time. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together for about 7-8 months, we both love each other, but living a bit too far away from each other to see each other atm, with also she working on weekends, and me during the week (we're students, I'm 23, shes 21), so v. difficult to see each other. Basically I am extremely jealous of any male attention she receives, especially from her ex, whom she still is 'great friends' with - this simply kills me. Shes always going to his Uni to stay for a few days here and there, and in the next few weeks, hes going to stay up at hers. She ended the relationship, between them and insists that they are only friends, and I dont wanna bring it up again and again with her because I dont wanna be 'that guy' who is very jealous and clingy. I mean she also told me of an old male frind she hadnt seen in ages that they wanted to go camping for a weekend.....just the two of them! Is this just me being possessive, or is that just normal? I do trust her 110%, but I cant help but feeling annoyed sometimes.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): I'd get rid of her. If she cared about you, she wouldn't put you in this situation. some things just are in appropriate when in a relationship - this is definately one of them. Also seeing her ex regularly is not on. I have never spent time with an ex and not ended up sleeping with them.
Drop her mate, you are young and there are heaps of gorgeous women out there that will treat you right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): You have two issues going on here, don't you? Her ex boyfriend and the guy who she is going camping with.
Maybe ordinarily her going camping with her guy friend wouldn't be a problem but you are quite right to have feelings of insecurity about it. She as your girlfriend should either be able to reassure you, or change her plans so that she isn't going camping with just him. Eddie is spot on - it is a bit inappropriate, even if nothing does happen. It's a tricky situation because you are both young and should both be enjoying yourselves by doing stuff like that. See if you can communicate and compromise in some way so you are both happy.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Try to trust her. If she comes back acting all weird, then your suspicions will be vindicated. If not, then everything is fine...
DV1
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I think it's a horrible idea for people of the opposite sex to go off together like that. Trusting is one thing but sticking your head in the lions mouth is another. It may be innocent but it's inappropriate. Even if you keep your feelings under control, she should be able to see your side of this.
It's good to trust but there have to be boundaries and this would be one that I wouldn't want my wife to cross.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): If you really trusted her you wouldn't be asking the question.
If she is the type of person that has friends with the opposite sex then there will be nothing in it. Okay if she suddenly goes from being friends only with women and then drops a new guy on you that she is off with I would sit down and talk to her.
If she really has no problem and there is nothing to it then she will be happy to sit and listen to you and you can explain that you are not really happy with it. Would she like you to go camping with another woman.
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