A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years - normal, happy with ups and downs. we're working things out, we're very in love with each other.recently, he met this girl (a family friend) from a family bbq (that i couldnt go to). his family jokingly/seriously told him to ask her out as she was rich...the next day, she messaged my boyfriend about how she broke up with her boyfriend. she keeps on messaging him (about 5-8 messages in 2 days). my boyfriend is very friendly and i'm sure he doesn't mean to lead her on, but i think he's doing it unawaringly. there was a time she asked how i was doing and my boyfriend said that we had a fight... she keeps on messaging and calling him and it's getting on my nerves...i don't know what to do. i trust my boyfriend, knowing how nice he is, he'll try to make it into a friendship. i know it's his life, and i should let them be friends if he wishes to, but it's driving me nuts knowing that she wants more than friendship and the fact that my boyfriend is friendly, she might even think that she has a chance...i should also mention, that his family doesn't like me and when my boyfriend told them that she was constantly contacting him they just said, "she's just friendly." but i know deep in me, she's wanting more...
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female
reader, xSarax  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Right first things first. Shes a bitch. I'm in exactly the same situation as you. With me though its more serious. I've just got back from a night out. And I've just had a fight with the girl that split me and my boyfriend up.
Whatever you do nip it in the bud now whilst you can.
It will develop. The more you fight with your boyfriend the more he'll go to her.
He'll always be curious about what being with her will be like. Its like catch 22. The more you get paranoid and argue about her to him. The more he will think what it would be like with her and that he wouldnt have to put up with any more arguements.
Bacically theres nothing you can do about this situation. And trust me. I know how much it hurts. And if you love your boyfriend like i did its torture.
She will persist on contacting your boyfriend because she wants him. Tell him how you feel. If he carrys on getting in touch with her he is disrespecting you.
Don't let her ruin your relationship.
Tell him that your not happy with whats going on.
Tell him to choose you or her.
And if he picks you make sure he doesnt keep in contact with her - EVER.
Best of luck, I really do hope that she will stay out of you and your boyfriends lives. His parents will learn to love you in time because at the end of the day happiness is worth more than money.
Just be brave and stand up for yourself!!! x x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's the problem - my boyfriend thinks she's just really friendly. I told my boyfriend how I feel and he doesn't want to tell her to stop contacting him because he thinks she's jsut being friendly and that she hasn't blatantly been telling him that she wants him. He said though, that when she makes advances or more blatant comments, that he will hold the "Stop" sign...He doesn't want to talk to her about it because she's being indirect about her interests. I.e. "How is your girlfriend" (I feel like is her fishing for something wrong in the relationship)
My boyfriend asked her before just to make conversation "What are your plans tonight?
She replied, "Nothing. Wanna meet up?"
She's really getting in my nerves -- and honestly, I do want to explode, but I know I should keep my cool.
I'm thinking of asking her out for dinner with my boyfriend to see if it'll cool things up or make me feel better. Is that a good idea?
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (10 July 2007):
 She quite possibly does want more. When your boyfriend told her you two had a fight, he was actually giving her encouragement to keep contacting him, even if he thought it was innocent. This is the classic way affairs start, people sharing too much information about their partners and complaining to a third party.
Be careful nd stay on top of this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): I have been here before too!, all i can say is just talk to the girl who is doing this, ask her to stop and if she doesn't stop then talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel, tell him you don't mind them being friends but you think that she wants to be more, he can talk to her and tell her that he doesn't want to be more than friends if thats the case.
GOOD LUCK!!!
JESS XXXX
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