A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson! I know he still wants me back and is just waiting for me to beg like all his other ex's did, I want advice, and I mean funny shit and clever advice, I want to rip the heart out of him and teach him a lesson, I'm 32 and he's 26 I'm well able for him and thank god I'm not devasted by his fooling round while he was with me (which I found out after we split). He has broken loads of girl's hearts and they all seem to still want him back, come on girls, and even boys, let's teach this bollox a lesson :)
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female
reader, Sharon28  +, writes (18 July 2008):
Hey girl i just did the same thing. Look you have to find what is his weakness about u that he works on and play it against him. I am new at this but i have dumped this guy twice and i think he is coming back for the thrid.My weakness is that i work in healthcare and he will always play my sympathy for him to get me to his house. So you need to control his access to you becuase normally they want to control u and have u lock down while you get more and more emotional. They would actually not call u, tell u hurtful thing so they can gain more control over your emotions and they will be on your mind all the time. They also think that you are not going anywhere and the thing that will hurt the most i think would be that you actually find someone better that u like and treats you right. On the mean time control his access to you. If he calls dont answer just let the machine pick up and text him back and take you time. They are also very bad at answering emotional questions so you can test him that way like asking a simple question like Do you miss me? and watch what he says. if he says no he is being manipulative to hurt u to put u down so u become easier for him to reach, look girl they are dangerous and i would also cut all ties after telling him off again they hurt your self steem and we need people that are more supportive of us. I went out to Blue Martini and i had sexy new clothing on , guys were looking at me and i did not feel sexy becuase the way he is treating me. So the relationship is very bad for you psicologically. Be carefull with him u can keep him calling you but dont answer, be mean. They all deserve it. They are sick, sick selfish man.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): You could leave lovey-dovey letters in his mailbox and messages on his machine at random times for a while. Another of his women may stumble onto them. Even if he talks his way out of it, the incident will still plant some seeds of doubt in the new girl's mind.
You could also do some of this stuff around obvious date-nights (Valentine's Day, his birthday, etc).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): Forget him, he doesnt care about you, pity the poor fool who ends up with him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): The best revenge is to move on and find a happy and loving relationship.
I don't know too many 26 year olds that are ready to be serious or commit and it seems that with the way society is now a days...the men are even more reluctant to settle down and commit.
Being he is a player, which usually indicates self serving motivated person here, I don't think he will really care what you do or say. Very rarely those who care not of others feelings will not suffer long, will not stay down-they pop right the hell back because why?
They realize that one chooses to anger and hurt and they just ignore these emotions as it gets in the way of their agendas.
You won't win and there is no revenge that will make you feel vindicated.
You'll do something and realize it didn't hurt him enough, didn't phase him enough and when will it end Chica?
Find those who will listen to you and help you heal from this. Usually we hide behind anger and resentment to conceal how really hurt and wounded we are-it's a "safer" emotion that keeps our hearts and pride in tact but eventually, you will have to deal and cope with it and you may as well do it healthily.
Girls nights out for sometime...keep busy, laugh, enjoy what you have.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Well you could have a ton of cow manure delivered to his front garden or just outside if he hasnt a garden, You could also somehow get to his place and hide a kipper down the back of the sofa, I dunno hun there are a hundred ways of getting back at someone thats pissed you off... At the end of the day I would just act like he didnt exist, it will catch up on him.... WHAT GOES ROUND COMES ROUND!
TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Tellulah is right. Don't put yourself at risk. I had missed this possibility.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Hi,
Dont want to put the dampener on your revenge, but please be carefull. Its all very well people advising you to let this guy down at the last minute, but what if he gets violent or worse.
I agree with you that he should learn a lesson, all the guys (and there are girls as well) that do this, should be taught a lesson. But in reality it wont stop them, and you could get hurt.
I know you didnt want any do-gooder advice, but I am just watching out for a fellow girl.
Beside there are much better ways of getting even without getting to close.
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): im the poster of this question, and im pissin myself laughing at the last bit of advice about getting him bashed, and to the other person who said why did i date a player! well i didn't know he was until after we split. when we first met he chased me like mad until i agreed to date him, and he was ( what i thought) crazy about me obviously not! :) think ill do the pretend game and promise him sex then at the last min let him down, hit him where it hurts!!
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 If you knew he was a player and had broken so many hearts, why were you with him? Answer that.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (9 July 2007):
I have changed my mind about my advice further down. What if you try to set up a fake meeting to get back at him, and he says "No". Don't risk it. Just walk away. Someone will break his heart one day. Not your problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): Weell......you COULD say to him if he calls to ask you out, "Go out with you? Uh uh: I have to clean the toilet." THAT should put him in his place!
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Let everyone know about him. Don't bother getting even. Eventually, vengeance becomes one face, then another, until one day, you've forgotten what actually started it all.
DV1
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
I think if he sees you're doing just fine without him it will make him feel the worst and will spare you from looking like a jerk (just like he is).
Sorry, I don't see the point in hurting someone just for the sake of being an assh*le. Do you really want to look like an assh*le? Do you really want to stoop so low? Don't you value yourself more than that??
Like I said, I think you should act like you don't care and move on.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): I know the last thing you want to do is put yourself in his position. But try, think why he is such a player. There will be a reason. It could be many of things but you will be lucky if its because his first love broke his heart. Which is the most common cause for a man to act like a complete tit for the rest of his life.
Get if you want to hurt him deep then you'll have to get deep. Act like the bitch that broke his heart. But whatever you do. Don't go back to him. Because thats all he wants to use you for, because sorry to tell you but your just a game to him. Don't think about the nice times you have had together because they were all false. Think about the time you found out what he'd done. and keep on thinking about this so you don't get side tracked.
Make sure you flaunt yourself infront of him and really mess with his head. Don't show real emmotion though because he will have an advantage on you.
I've had the same type of ex before and now hes messing up some other poor girls life.
Don't let him do that to someone else. i hope you do teach him a lesson.
Best of luck x
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (9 July 2007):
I wouldn’t do anything myself, but in the spirit of helpfulness –
The one sure way of convincing him that you are hurt and bitter is to do something drastic to pay him back. It is usually bitter people who do that kind of thing. So do something subtle.
By all means, like the others said, arrange a night of passion and then let him down. Whatever you do, don’t let him know that this was deliberate revenge, which would spoil the whole effect. When he phones you, you have to convince him that you had completely forgotten about the arrangement, and stick to it, however much you want to gloat.
Him – “Jane – where are you?”
You - (in puzzled voice) – “Hi – I’m (at home, out with friends, whatever).
Him – You can guess what he says here.
You - (suddenly enlightened) – “Oh No! I’m so sorry; I’ve been so busy that it slipped my mind. Tell you what, I’ll call you tomorrow”.
Hang up the phone. Don’t call him again.
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A
female
reader, waiting_on_luv +, writes (9 July 2007):
 ohhh man i went through this! not this extreme, but he dumped me for a slut that he told me he wouldnt go for because it would only be a one night stand.. anyways.. the guy dumped me, and i chose not to talk to him i had nothign to do with him. this hurt him soo badly because he missed me, and i didnt give him the time of day. He tried so hard to be friends with me, and i would just ignore him, pertend he wasnt around. i felt sorta bad cause i did miss him too, but i wasnt about to let him get away with this. later on tho we started talking again, and became pretty good friends, and i got him again not intentionally, he wanted me back, and i said i wasnt ready, that i wanted a guy that i was good friends with first, and then that hurt too... but the sad part is, now i want him :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): well done sista, lets teach him a lesson he will never foorget. players are so last season, so lets be creative be friendly to him, make him see what he could have had but will not have, drive him crazy. a new hairdo a change of style could also do the trick. and please whatever you do don't fall for him again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): I read your post and thought to myself that most people have come up against a player and lived to regret it. I think there is one thing that would annoy the hell out of him...get over him. Find something bigger, better and more interesting than him and shift your attention to it. It does not have to be another guy...just something that makes him look like the village idiot that he is. When you reach the indifferent stage...he will be puzzled and quizzical...maybe not heartbroken but by that time you will not care as your life will have taken off in a new and different direction.
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (9 July 2007):
 It isnt your place to teach him a lesson. There are websites where you can post his name and make other women aware of his sorry behavior though.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (9 July 2007):
Sorry: "to make love to you". Do this more than once and that will hurt.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (9 July 2007):
Tell him to come to your place to make love you to, and then change your mind at the very last minute.
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