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... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
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When is the best time to get pregnant?
Q. is there a certain time of the month you can pregnant?or things you can do to help?...
A. 10 October 2006: Conception is 'usually' more likely around 7 to 10 days after your last period (if you are regular). However, every woman is slightly different so some couples use ovulation kits to determine when is the best time to try. Conception is more likely ... (read in full...)
How can I make my 16 year old daughter see that her drinking/going out behaviour is dangerous?
Q. Hello, can anyone advise me on my daughter? She is nearly 16 and is usually a lovely sunny, happy girl, but occasionally she binge drinks and becomes unconscious and goes out for whole weekends lying to me about where she is going. These weekends ...
A. 9 October 2006: She is 16 not 60...my mother would have flogged me around the streets had I behaved this way...not that I am advocating you do that! If you give her pocket money then you are enabling her alcohol addiction - if she drinks herself unconscious then ... (read in full...)
My son is being denied access to his new born by the mother, legally how much time is he allowed to spend with her ?
Q. My Son is being denied access on a regular basis to his new born Daughter as he has now split-up with his partner. Please advise what is the legal minimum amount of time that he can spend with her ?...
A. 9 October 2006: It depends where your son lives but as the father he has legal rights of access - if it cannot be resolved informally he should seek the assistance of a family solicitor/ lawyer who can act for him in court. The mother cannot legally prevent him ... (read in full...)
How can I settle my twins at nursery ? They both got hysterical when I tried to leave them and the nursery told me to leave!!!
Q. Fear of Nursery School I have 3 year old twins, a boy and a girl. Recently I tried to start them at Nursery school. The initial problem occured with my son when I left. He became hysterical and could not be comforted. This did not abate with t...
A. 9 October 2006: It is not emotionally harmful - it is a normal reaction to maternal separation...when they don't cry at all then you have to worry! I think the nursery handled the situation badly but that is another issue. Perhaps you need to socialise your ... (read in full...)
Can I improve my GCSE grades?
Q. I am 16 years old. I only got a few G grades in my GCSE exams (apart from getting a C grade in English) I wondered what my options are?? Are there any college courses which would be suitable and could you tell me more about them? What can some...
A. 9 October 2006: Just because you failed your exams it doesn't have to be the end of the world (but I accept it may feel bad at the moment). You have to have a frank conversation with yourself - did you fail your exams because you did 0% work for them, were you ... (read in full...)
A couple of guys have said I am boring, and moan alot! How can I change this as I wasnt aware and now my confidence is totally knocked!!
Q. Hello, I need to know how to talk to men. Im 23 and single and this is because most men that know me think Im dull and boring. They only go out with me because they think Im physically attractive but have no personality. A few men have said this ...
A. 9 October 2006: Stttooopppppp...you have a personality, you are not boring, you are not dull...they are just saying those things because you just happen to be incompatible with them...and lets face it, who are they to criticise you? Did they have such fabulous ... (read in full...)
He looks at other girls, am I being to demanding of my own insecurities!?
Q. I have been dating my partner for two years now. It began as a friendship and after quite sometime developed into a love relationship. This was intentional on my part as I wanted to be sure before committing myself totally. I am deeply in love with ...
A. 9 October 2006: There are a couple of issues here. (1) He is not being respectful towards you and if I was on a date with him I would walk out, (2) He knows that by getting angry it is the way to control you into silence and still get away with looking elsewhere ... (read in full...)
I slept with him and now cant get rid of him, it was a mistake and wish it didnt happen!
Q. Back in April I slept with this guy (he was my first and he wasn't my boyfriend it was just sex). I hate to sound b*tchy but I have to tell the truth... he was a bit of a minger. It grosses me out just thinking about him. No seriously. People would ...
A. 9 October 2006: He isn't a minger...you might not think he is 'trophy boyfriend of the year' but some girl out there will. You say you cannot understand why he still contacts you but you have tied yourself up in so many white lies with this guy you don't have a ... (read in full...)
He hung up on me, opinions please!!
Q. Hi there, Could I have someone else's opinion on this? I got a message from my boyfriend yesterday on the phone that his car was giving him trouble and then a second one telling me nevermind it worked-I called him back and heard him say hello and I ...
A. 9 October 2006: You have to stop analysing the situation as you will just end up going around and around in circles with the dilemma. Maybe he hung up because he was driving...if he has a habit of doing that then just pull him up on it when you see each other face ... (read in full...)
Ive lost trust in all women including my sis and my mum as all women do is break my heart!!!
Q. i ask this girl out back in january but she said no. She knows I fancy her and she was always really nice to me. However last week I found out that she got drunk and slept with another guy. As you would expect I was devastated. But now I've started ...
A. 9 October 2006: Everyone has some knock backs sometime in their life - few people manage to escape heartache at some stage. The fact is that you cannot change what other people may have done to you or you feel they have done to you. You have two choices in your ... (read in full...)
How do you understand a mans mind?
Q. Help!!!! I need help understanding a mans mind if thats possible. I have a male friend who I have know about three months, I pulled him in a club and we ended up being mates. He stated from the start he wasnt ready for a relationship and just ...
A. 6 October 2006: He isn't into you romantically as when men are motivated they do some chasing...especially when they know you like them back. However, he probably likes being the centre of attention and he probably likes the fact you like him...if you get my ... (read in full...)
I am almost 14, how do I tell my boyfriend I am ready for sex?
Q. im ready to have sex with my boyfriend he has done it be4 but the thing is he now lives in a different state but its not that far away and i don't know how to tell himwe been together for a while now and i really love him i know he wants to have sex ...
A. 6 October 2006: You are scared and feeling awkward about it because you are not ready. Teens are under HUGE pressure to have sex early these days and I know you have a nice relationship but why not wait? I don't think you are ready at 13 because no-one can be ready ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New features? What other sites do you use? .. and please tell a friend!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here! I ask this periodically... 1. What new features would you like to see? 2. What other websites do you use regularly? 3. Where are you from? Thanks to all the agony aunts, moderators and of course...
A. 22 September 2006: What new features would you like to see?
Magazine style articles on issues that regularly seem to pop up on this website would be probably useful to readers. Contraception advice, STD's, abortion, drugs, domestic violence etc.
2. What other... (read in full...)
Im 22 and never had a serious relationship, where can I meet guys that will love me for who I am ??
Q. Hi all, okay im 22 and have never been in a serious relationship and its really getting me down. I havent been happy about my weight for the last couple of years and have been dieting and exercising but the weight just isnt shifting. All my ...
A. 19 September 2006: You just think your friends are more attractive because you are looking for a certain perspective. A man won't make you feel better about yourself and you may not even enjoy a relationship (they do cause a fair bit of anxiety!) until you get your ... (read in full...)
When does a women ovulate on the pill ?
Q. I know it seems like a silly question (makes me seem young). But I'm seriously not very experienced... So, when does a woman ovulate? If I'm on the pill, how does that work?...
A. 19 September 2006: The pill works by suppressing ovulation and thickening the lining of the womb and the mucus at the cervical exit to make conception more difficult. However, you should be aware that as with most things it is not certain - women on the pill do ... (read in full...)
My husband isnt happy that im pregnant as he said it will spoil long haul holidays! Will he come around as I really want this baby!!!
Q. I have found out I am pregnant. I am happy, just turned 39 and believed infertile. Suffer from PCOS, overweight and smoke, high blood pressure, so not alot going for me. Found out this weekend and am over the moon. But my partner of 2 years is ...
A. 19 September 2006: I would like to say congratulations...you got pregnant with PCOS (and that gives me hope as a fellow sufferer). As for your husband...well sometimes men can be a little insensitive and need time to adjust. You are pregnant and it is a wonderful ... (read in full...)
He made me feel so cr*p, trouble is we share the same friends and will see each other at Uni.. How will I cope ?
Q. hi, my bf of almost 2 yrs split from me a couple of months ago. we're at uni and lived together there for 1yr. To begin he was slightly geeky but a sweet guy, but he is now obsessed with being cool. He cheated in a club one night and on returnin...
A. 19 September 2006: You are a strong, mature young lady and he is soooo not worthy of your time or attention. He is acting the way he is because he is VERY insecure and has personality issues of his own. You are, however, not his psychiatrist and his problems don't ... (read in full...)
Will the fact she had an ovary removed reduce our chances of having a baby ?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are trying for a baby. She has all the signs but im still doubtful because she has had a ovary removed, does anyone kno if this will cause problems with me getting her pregnant? Plez help any advice on conciving tip wo...
A. 19 September 2006: Women have 2 ovaries - one on each side. Each month an egg is released from the left or right side. The fact that she has one ovary reduces her opportunities for conception but certainly does not rule them out if she doesn't have additional medical ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy of 22 to act a bit of pervert in public ??
Q. This may sound like a really daft question!! I've had just one serious boyfriend and have only just got serious with him a few months ago. We went on a foreign holiday, but it felt like he is a real perve whilst away - constantly feeling my bum ...
A. 19 September 2006: Errr no...it is disrespectful and that is why you felt uncomfortable about it. The fact that you asked him to stop and he continued means it is REALLY disrespectful. Some men have a poor way of showing affection and some men do this because they are ... (read in full...)
A 21 month old who bites?
Q. Hi I need some help? I have a 21month old who Bites!! I have tried very hard to explain no biting, but nothing. at 21 months do they understand everything? Any advice???...
A. 16 September 2006: At 21 mths your child is capable of some understanding of good or bad behaviour. I don't recommend biting her/him back as one of the posts suggested as there are more appropriate ways to change her/his behaviour. You need to consistently apply ... (read in full...)
The school has issued my daughter a further punishment its unfair, what should I do ?
Q. hi there, i was wondering if anyone could help my daughter got a punishment exercise yesterday and as i was working late, she was unable to do the punishment although i felt she deserved it for the reson stated. i wrote to the school this morning ...
A. 16 September 2006: If you think she has been treated unfairly then you need to put in a written complaint to the head teacher. If that doesn't work, there is the board of Governors. Clearly your daughter has done something wrong and you as a parent should support the ... (read in full...)
We have had enough of our sons behaviour, How can we get him out ?
Q. hi my wife and i have significant prolems with our son who is in his late teens.he is abusive,threating,disruptive etc etcwe have had enough and want him out of our house,how do we go about it?we have asked to leave but he will not go....
A. 16 September 2006: It depends on his age really. From what you say he may have mental health or drug problems that require a specialist assessment. I suggest that you get in touch with social services if he is under 18 as they maybe able to offer you with support or ... (read in full...)
Husband is 35 and having an affair with a 15 year old female! What should I do?
Q. my husband is having an affair with a 15 year old girl,hes 35. they always smile at each other and give each other the eyes across the room. the other day he winked at her and she winked back, i asked her what was going on she the clever little ...
A. 16 September 2006: You should see her as a child who has been abused; I work in child protection and I can tell you that many young girls compensate the lack of a decent family life by getting attention from men the only way they know how. Of course, it is a negative ... (read in full...)
We're both married to other people but we are unable to let each other know how much we like each other. How do we do this?
Q. HI ALL I AM WORKING IN A COMPANY, I AM MARRIED ALSO, I LIKE ONE OF MY LADY COLLEGUE, SHE IS ALSO MARRIED. SHE LIKES ME AND TALK WITH ME ETC. BUT BOTH OF US UNABLE TO TRANFER OUR WISHES OR MIND.. SO HOW CAN I DO IT...
A. 16 September 2006: Oh why would you want to start an affair at work? You are married and she is married. If you are bored with your marriage then focus on fixing that, or leave your wife. Maybe she is just being nice to you as a friend and it could be embarrassing if ... (read in full...)
This boy at school pokes me, bangs into me and teases me in front of his friends. Do you think he likes me??
Q. hi im 15. Would u say my boy mate fancies me cos if he sees me in the corridor he pokes me or bangs into me as a joke and smiles. hes the same age as me. And sometimes when i am sitting down eating my lunch he says to one of his mates "oh if ...
A. 16 September 2006: It doesn't matter is he fancies you or not...why? He doesn't sound like he is ready for a relationship if the only way he can get your attention is to poke you or say things in front of his mates then he is lousy boyfriend material. You may find ... (read in full...)
I'm torn...I'm moving to England to be with my guy but not sure if I can my friends and family behind.
Q. Hello guys, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years now, been friends for six. A lot of it was long distance because I was going to college in the U.S. and he lives in the UK. I spent a year studying abroad in the UK and lo...
A. 16 September 2006: Don't think of it as leaving the US forever, just think of it as going to the UK for a little while...nothing is forever and the experience of living abroad is great. Book an open ticket so you can go home when you want. You must remember you are ... (read in full...)
How do I really tell if my teacher likes me and if he does..how do we move things forward?
Q. Hi, I am 17 and really like a teacher at my school. he is just turned 23 and and was a student teacher here last year too. We started getting on really well during a school trip at the end of last year but i don't know if he feels the same w...
A. 16 September 2006: In the UK it is a criminal offence for teachers to have any kind of personal relationship with their pupils of the kind you aspire to. Your teacher is young and inexperienced since he isn't long out of training college. He is probably still getting ... (read in full...)
Engaged for 4 years and he bores me to death! How do I end this?
Q. I have ben dating my boyfriend for almost 7 years and have been engaged for almost 4 of them. But now I feel nothing more than friendship with him, and he's like a security balnket for me. How do I end it, because I'm going through the "How do I ...
A. 16 September 2006: You just have to leave now and be thankful you didn't marry him as a divorce can be messy. Being single is ok - it is a stronger, better option than dragging along with someone just for the sake of it. It is not being cruel to him as he can go off ... (read in full...)
Will this guy I like know I'm a virgin, when we do it for the first time?
Q. hi i need some advice! im 17 and im a virgin but this lad im seeing doest know i am! i have done sexual things beofre but i have never gone the whole way lol will he know im a virgin when i have sex for the first time???? ...
A. 16 September 2006: It is ok to be a virgin at 17 and nothing to be ashamed about. Sometimes women bleed upon first sex because of breaking the hymen, but I think what you need to ask yourself is why you wouldn't want this guy to know about your virgin status. Firstly, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was sending naked pictures to another on the internet now its a big joke to everyone...
Q. About 9 months ago i was diagnosed with depression and really needed my boyfriends support. he was still living at home and to my horror i discovered he had been sending naked pictures of himself to another girl via the internet. despite it, i ...
A. 14 September 2006: When you have clinical depression then you need strong, supportive people around you to heal. You may lack the energy to deal with a break up in a relationship right now but it is likely to happen because you don't respect him anymore...and who ... (read in full...)
Im scared he will get swayed by all the girls in the internet Chatrooms!!!
Q. Hi, I have been with my Bf for 3 years. Just lately im starting to feel very insecure, I shouldnt as we are very much in love but im scared... My Bf is a very sort of social type person and will have a laugh and chat and always go out of his...
A. 14 September 2006: There are bigger issues than internet chatting here. You have got to remember that if he was going to cheat on you then he would just do it - girls in shops, girls in bars or girls in chatrooms, anything with a pulse. The fact that he tells you ... (read in full...)
We had a couple of dates and he was always responsive, but after our last date he hasnt contacted me!
Q. Hello, I have been on a couple of dates with a guy and really like him. However after our last date which was only last night he hasn't sent me a text. I have sent him one and had no response. He is usually quite responsive and keen. We had a ...
A. 14 September 2006: You have got to relax about this as you have only had a few dates. Sure you like the guy a lot and we have all been there but don't contact him...just sit back and wait. If he calls then I hope you go on to have a great time together but if he ... (read in full...)
We've talked on the phone for 18 months...but he doesn't want to me me! What's wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have talked on the phone for 18 months;he says he loves me but doesn't want to meet?...
A. 14 September 2006: You can be infatuated with someone you haven't met, but you cannot really love them because love is based on a long term relationship where you see the good and bad in people. Communication over the net or just by phone is artificial unfortunately ... (read in full...)
He calls me fat and tells me I'm immature! Not sure where I stand with him, anymore. What should I do?
Q. Well I have been with my boyfriend for just over 7 months now, and i really love him. but recently we have been arguing really badly over stupid things, he hates one of my friends and he says nasty things when i have been with her, we have spoken ...
A. 9 September 2006: It is an abusive relationship in the making. He is jealous of your friends and verbally abusive towards you already...how long before he starts slapping you around. he maybe a bad person but you cannot change him - you can do a lot about changing ... (read in full...)
I went away and my boyfriend has gotten my mate pregnant!
Q. hi, ive just been on holiday for 2 months to celebrate my mom and dads engagment party. when i came back i found out my best friend was pregnant with my boyfriends baby. they said sorry and my boyfriend said he still loves me and keeps sending me...
A. 9 September 2006: 1. She isn't your best friend...you sound like a nice person so get a best friend who you can trust.
2. He isn't your boyfriend...he is a sleaze bag who cannot keep his trousers up when your back is turned. Feel glad that you found out now, stop... (read in full...)
I have lost interest in her because of her breasts!
Q. My gf and i have been in a relationship for over 3 months. I am begining to loose interest in her becasue she has very small breasts. This sounds really immature but I can't help but feel it. I really like her and she has the best personality and ...
A. 9 September 2006: What you need to do is simple...dump the girl...what a disappointment her breasts must be to you all the time, and how dare she disappoint you and your mates...wicked girl to have a personality but no breasts. With all the cash you save on not ... (read in full...)
Qualifications for psychiatry?
Q. What qualifications do i need for psychiatry?...
A. 9 September 2006: For psychiatry you would need a medical degree, post-qualifying experience as a senior house officer and then you would need to do exams and join a registrar programme for psychiatry (it could be adult or child psychiatry). If you are in the UK, I ... (read in full...)
How can I go about becoming a "Goth" ?
Q. Hi can ayone help me? My problem is that I want to becaome a Goth.. however I am also considering a career in acting/as an actress or working with horses (going to an agricultural college) Can I do both?? I have NEVER seen a goth working with ...
A. 9 September 2006: I used to be a goth...I know a couple of goths now who are in high ranking jobs. My brothers kids call me 'auntie or dr dracula'...although I have toned down the black clothes somewhat these days. I still treasure my mission collection. Being a goth ... (read in full...)
Options after failing GCSE's?
Q. Please someone help me...I have failed all my GCSE exams. I only got a few G grades (apart from getting a C in English). What are my options? Does this mean that I have got no future, and that I will never get a well paid job?? I can't stand it...I ...
A. 9 September 2006: First of all DON'T PANIC...I messed up my O'levels big time but it didn't stop me going on to get a good academic career. The 16+ education sector offers you more choices than GCSE's. If you think you failed your GCSE's because you didn't prepare ... (read in full...)
How can I get my 14 year old more interested in school ?
Q. How can i get my daughter more interested in school, and to read books!!. she is 14 years old and everything seems to go right over her head. She is involved with after school activities and wants to join the RAF. Please help!!!!...
A. 9 September 2006: You cannot make her more interested in academic things at 14. I wouldn't be too concerned - I wasn't interested in school or reading at that age and I was identified as the perfect candidate for a YTS in hairdressing. Nevertheless I went on to get a ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my parents he is of a different race???
Q. i just posted the question "I finally got with Pete! Problem is I've never had a boyfriend before, so dont know how to make us an adorable couple!" around 2 days ago, but i honestly need as much advice as possible. So we've been spending soooooo...
A. 9 September 2006: I think you should just tell them you are dating a guy from another racial background. If you think it is appropriate then bring him around for tea sometime to 'meet the parents'. Secrecy worries parents because they wonder what you have got to ... (read in full...)
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