A
female
age
30-35,
*uth2203
writes:how do you get over some thing , i got rejected problem got sorted by help of you guys but now i dont know what to do i dont feel like going out any where im going out tonight but what can i do im even going to tidy my room please some help me i jsut want to forget how i hurt i am with out getting drunk?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): Sometimes the best thing is a night in with ur best girl m8s all u need is: u...your girls...pyjamas...and lots of ben and jerrys!!! sometimes talking 2 ur m8s is all u really need...and if that doesnt help the ben and jerrys sure will!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): I was recently hurt quite badly myself.I've been trying to deal with it very rationally and the following came to me in quiet meditation where I just let my mind take me wherever it wanted to go.To my pain:I know why you are here.You can stay as long as you want.You can stay because I can look you in the eye.I can confront you because I know exactly why you are here.You are only here because what I lost was beautiful and pure.You came to me in an equal amount.You tried to fill the hole that was left.But there is no space for you there.What has been lost can also be found.You can never overcome what once was there.It will live with me forever and it cannot be tarnished.For I know that as long as I hold it in my heart with care,it will flourish once more.What this means is that I am OK with my pain because I realize that I am only hurting because I experienced something beautiful and it was then taken away from me. It was taken away but really it can never be lost. What I had will always be with me and I am thankful for the experiencing it as long as I did. I think by acknowledging your pain for what it is is the only way to make peace with it. It cannot be pushed aside and there are no magic cures. Alcohol most certainly isn't and is in fact a mild depressant that can in large quantities lead to a drastically lowered mental state, I know from experience. So the only way to deal with the pain is to face it head on, let it come to you and make sense of it. Have a conversation with it and try to understand why it is here, why you are feeling it. Once you've done that you can invite it in and let it sulk in the corner for it isn't having the effect on you it thought it would as you prepare yourself for a beautiful future.In any case I know my pain is well sulky right now after I told it that I didn't care it was there and I wouldn't let it affect me any more. ;)
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Good that you recognise drink isn't the solution to the problem...it isn't and it just gives you a sore head as well as a broken heart to contend with. There is no magic solution to how to get over a difficult painful experience but they do say time is a healer. Distraction is good too. Do something out of the ordinary...no I didn't mean tidying your room! Stop trying to forget about the hurt; I believe that when we get hurt it doesn't have to be all negative - we learn from our mistakes and learn not to make those mistakes again in the future. Everyone has bad times - I felt terrible at your age - but the secret is to learn how to handle your emotions...for some people that gets easier with time. Take Care
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A
female
reader, Candy's corner +, writes (4 April 2007):
Firstly getting drunk, will only make the problem worse. Everyone hates being rejected, but unfortunately that is one of lifes many downfalls. But instead of seeing it as a big problem, see the rejection as the other persons loss. Go out tonight, with your friends, and enjoy yourself. Because the only way this persons rejection can hurt you is if you allow it to prevent you from being around people that love you and enjoying yourself... The more you do this the more you will realise that you are worth much more. Good luck!
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