A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i became good friends with his friend.. but his friend raped me one night when we were out at a club. me and my boyfriend got back together and have been together for a month but i just told him what happened and he just said he cant deal with this sh*t and isnt replying to my messages. i love him so much and i so scared i ruined it now. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys.. me n my boyfriend sorted it all out he was jus a bit upset. mwah
A
female
reader, JnikkiM  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 If your boyfriend can't except your version of the story then you need to realize that he's just as slimy as his friend. Let him go!!! If you just talked to him today he might just need some time to calm down. Let him be let him think about what you just told him. That is a serious thing that happened to you and it happened to me as well. My man wanted to kill his friend and didn't want to talk to me either because he felt I put myself in that situation. U didn't remember that, the guy is an jerk and should be in jail.
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A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (8 March 2007):
You think your mother will not believe that you were raped? Are you in the habit of making up stories? Is she in the habit of not believing you? Surely she would believe you? Why would you say something like that otherwise? We believe you, don't we? So why not your mother?
You told your boyfriend and he won't believe you and won't speak to you - that must be so awful for you. You have enough to cope with, without having to cope with his issues too.
You need some help. You must go and talk to someone - maybe a teacher at school a neighbour or a counsellor?
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A
female
reader, wickedrachel +, writes (8 March 2007):
 sorry love, it is a big step. first of all go and get help, i have been through this, sort yourself out and make sure your ok, as for your bf, it is a big thing for him to accept as his best friend betrayed him and he is also scared now. just give him time, ask him to help you through this ordeal, get some counselling and ask him to pop along, if then he seems dis heartened re-think what you feel for him, as feelings do change. he maybe just blaming himself for what his friend did. just go over to him and ask him face to facehope it goes ok loverachel
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Sorry to hear about your ordeal. It is difficult enough to cope with, you need support more than ever.
Your boyfriend needs to be more considerate towards you as you are the one that was raped not him.
He may be feeling that his trust was raped by his friend and is in denial.
But he will have to accept the situation in his own time, not much else you can do to push it forward.
Give him some time and if he does not come round to give you support, he is not right for you.
You deserve someone who will be there for you, good and bad.
Stay strong and do not let weak people get to you, you have your own feelings to deal with at the moment.
Go to councelling to help you deal with this and have someone who you can talk to.
Choose to become the Survivor.
Hopes things get better.
Angel of Love
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks.. but i havent told anyone else.. im too ashamed.. because my mother wont believe me and will probably kick me out for it.. my boyfriend phoned his friend and he told him it didnt happen and that im lying becoz he has a gf. i really love my boyfriend.. and he said he gonna kill his friend when he comes hee in the holidays (he lives in another town. but the thing is with the friend its not like him.. hes the sweetest guy ever but that night he had a lot to drink.. ive forgiven him becoz it was a mistake i just want my boyfriend who means the world to me to understand that it wasnt my fault!
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You poor thing what a terrible thing to happen to you.Did you report this to the police. His friend should not be let away with doing this to you. Your boyfriend on the other hand has just been told his friend raped you. I would say he is shocked and hurt. This has happened to his girlfiend and his friend has let him down. Have you told any one else about this. You have ruined nothing if your boyfriend cannot cope with this sh*t as he calls it then he is not worth it. He should have calmed down and come back and spoken to you, you are the victim here not him. I would text him one more time and ask him to meet you and have a chat if he doesnt reply then you are going to have to get on without him. There is also the chance that his friend will tell him a different story and he will continue being friends with him this often happens and will be very hard to deal with. Besides all this his friend commited a terrible crime and it needs to be reported.
Let me know how it goes#
Aunty t
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 TELL YOUR PARENTS!!! Why didn't you report the rape to the Police? He broke the law as you're under 18, you could have had him charged! You can still do it if you want to. As for your boyfriend, I think this is just all too much for him at the moment, give him time to come to terms with it, his emotions will be in turmoil at present. Don't keep texting or calling him, just give him space to get his head around all this.
Meanwhile go to the Police and have this guy charged! If you don't how many other girls will he do this to? If you feel this hard to deal with then you can get help to come to terms with it, there is lots of help around. Meanwhile tell your parents and have him charged!
Eve
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Why are you scared of ruining it? Frankly love is a 2 way street and if he cannot 'deal' with it then he is just not a supportive person and no basis for a long-term relationship. At the end of the day, this isn't about him or rather it shouldnt be - it is about you and what has happened to you. You should seek counselling to come to terms with what has happened and you should really pluck up the courage to tell the police - otherwise his 'friend' could strike again. Stop worrying about ruining the relationship and focus on the real issues here - this is about a traumatic event in your life and if your BF isn't mature enough to handle it properly then he isn't mature enough to be your BF.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I can't believe you boyfriend is not more sypathetic to you regarding what happened to you at this club with his mate.
Also what happened is a very serious offence and i think you should tell the police about it. If this guy raped you whats to say he won't do this to another unsuspecting soul, more than likely he will.
Your boyfriend dosen't seem interested for what ever reason, which i don't think is fair. However please tell someone, confide in your parents, your best friend, and inform the police too, this guy must be prevented from attacking again.
All the best x
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