A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im 14 and i've never had a boyfriend. I dont feel as if i'm ready to have one right now as i'm shy, but i feel pressurised to as my two best friends have one. I dont think i will ever get a boyfriend as i am too shy and not really pretty. Please help and give me advice on what to do.
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best friend, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): Its alright dont worry im 15 and never had a boyfriend. I am also shy. Dont put yourself down though i am sure you are very pretty. I understand how there is pressure and among my friends im known as "The Prude" but I havent met him yet. I think 14 is young for a real boyfriend I was busy with other things.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): You sound a lot like i do, i am 14, and have never had a boyfriend, i never really wanted one either because i thought that boys my age were really immiture and total jerks, just wanting a trophie girl to hold hands with and kiss. But then i started meeting mature, nice, and caring MEN(but still my age), who i would like as a boyfriend. but i get depressed when those boys only ask out my best friends, and dont seem to notice me...it can be hard sometimes, but i do have faith that one day, SOMEONE, will be there for ME and not all the super pretty girls...as for the shyness, and the not feeling really pretty, there's a guy out there that's looking for just that!
dont rush into it, and when you find someone special you wont be disappointed...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): hey, i feel the same way totally. im 14 also and my friend has a bf and i feel ugly and stuff but im gonna take the advice these people said and im gonna feel happy about being single. (i am shy to so dont feel like your the only one out there like this.)
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A
female
reader, roses +, writes (8 March 2007):
You make it sound that fourteen is a really old age to have never had dated. most of my girlfriends started dating when they were 15, I had my first boyfriend at 20! (I'm 21 and a half now)The reason for why I waited was because I wasnt ready, simply like you are, and if I did it wouldnt have been right for me because I knew it wasnt my time. You should always go with your gutt. Of course you may feel left out especially when your friends talk about their boyfriends and what they got up to. But remember, you will too get to experience that one day but when you are comftable and confident enough to start dating someone you really like. Your very young now and have many years ahead of you, why would you waste time worrying about it now on seeing boys?! you've got the rest of your life to do that. Being single doesnt make you unpopular, immature or whatever you may think. If anything it makes you more irisistable, the harder you are to get, the more boys will want you. (I should know) Remember to take your time, we are all different and if we all did things at the same time like the rest of our friends, we wouldnt be very interesting, because everybody would already done it.
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A
male
reader, Kody  +, writes (7 March 2007):
you got to have self estem I can do it if you think you cant you cant But if you belive you can you can Fo out buy yourself some new clothes a new hair dew and a makeover then go and get one or if you want to
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A
female
reader, fishfood +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Hi hun, you've got nothing to worry or presure yourself about. I dont mean to sound patronising but lots of girls your age feel the same. I didnt get my first boyfriend untill I was 16 and although I felt just like you up untill then, im glad i didnt rush into everything. I still feel like the only one of my friends whos single but i always look to the positive side of it. Just think, whilst ur friends worry about trying to find time for their friends and boyfriends or buying presents for them all, you can do whatever you want whenever you want and treat yourself to things that you would have otherwise spent on your boyfriend!!!
You'll get one when you least expect it, and i know you dont think you are but im sure your beautiful hun, anyway, theres no such thing as an ugly person (look at some famous people who are "attractive" but get partners before they became rich e.g. wayne rooney!!). theres someone for everyone out there :-)
xxx
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A
female
reader, charly16 +, writes (6 March 2007):
hi, I used to have exactly the same problem as you and still do sometimes.
Dont worry about it.Try not to be as shy and think of boys more as friends.This way youll become more relaxed around them and one day mr right will just pop out.meanwhile dont worry about what your friends have got.youll get it too ypur just not ready yet.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Being shy is ok and many boys will find that very attractive - who wants motor mouth after all? I know there is tremedous pressure to date at your age but you have to think about this rationally. Boys at 14 are usually a bit less mature than girls of the same age and as I am sure you are seeing in your mates, dating isnt always fun at that age. If you read some of the posts on this website from young people you will see what I mean! Dating isn't really about being confident or extra pretty (although I find that girls who think they aren't pretty usually are!). There are lots of shy males out there too. Relax, get over this whole teenage stage and look forward to your 20's when you will be the beautiful swan.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Never feel pressurised to do something just because your friends are doing it. You're 14, not 40. There's plenty of time to get into the world of boys and everything that involves. You will get a boyfriend but not until you're ready for one. The truth is that when you meet the right person you just have the confidence to go for it, regardless of how shy you were. And as for not being that pretty... take a walk down the street. Observe the couples. I don't believe for a minute that you're not absolutely gorgeous but I bet that if you sit in the middle of a busy street for half an hour you'll see at least ten couples walk by where the girl is REALLY UGLY! The truth is that however you look, the kind of person you are is so much more important. For now though, just stop worrying and enjoy your innocent years.
CD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Don't feel as if you need to get yourself a boyfriend just because your friends have one and they are pressurising you into getting one. You've already said that you aren't ready for one and you are only 14 so don't worry. There's no need to rush to get one. Eventually one day some boy will come along which you will like and he will like you back and you'll feel ready to have a boyfriend then you can have first boyfriend. As for being too shy that looks like it's been caused by the fact that you think that you aren't pretty. Don't think that, think that you are pretty instead and eventually your confidence will show. And knowing so you probably are pretty.
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A
male
reader, Jiser +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Huh, I didn't get my first serious GF until 20. What you worried about, do what you want when you feel you are ready. You shouldn't have to feel pressured to do anything you dont want to. Society and culture do not be to influenced by it.
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