A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts and uncles this isn't much of a relationship problem but more of a self esteem/ body imagine problem. When i got with my bf of 3 years now i first weighed 175. I had noticed his father and sister didnt liked me and I asked him why , his response was because I was fat. :( Ever since that day I became a little obsessed with losing weight just to feel accepted. I would run on the treadmill 30 min everyday and drank diet pills (which I know now that I shouldn't have). So after some time passed by and I went down to weigh 145 lbs. I was proud of myself at first but then I soon noticed I lost my big butt ,thighs and I had nasty saggy back skin . My butt and thighs were the only things I had that made me feel like a girl because im flat chested. I also got depressed because I remember when I first started talking to my bf he said he liked his women with a fat ass and thick thighs so after realizing that I lost what he liked about me I tried anything to make my thighs and butt big again. I did squats and every other excersise you can think of. It worked for a while and I was happy but if I dont excersise for one day my butt goes back to being small. I dont know what to do anymore because everyday I have to work and work hard just to keep the little amount that I do have . Im constantly worrying about it and I cry everyday because of it ,idk what else to do?? I cant afford to go to a gym or even get a person trainer to help me. I dont know who to turn to but you guys because im tired of working out everyday and not seeing any better results . What can I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2013):
 First of all your BUTT isn't made of rubber bands, it doesn't go BACK to how it was after one day, that is ridiculous.
Secondly, losing 30 lbs really fast can have some rather surprising results in the sagginess department. I had a friend who did stomach surgery for weight loss. She lost 100 lbs over 8 months without exercising and she was DROOPING skin all over. It didn't look good at all. She DID get her butt in the gym EVERY day and worked with weights (more then cardio) and it did help some, some skin she had to go get plastic surgery to remove, but that is another story.
30 min on a thread-mill is NOT going to firm you up much. I would seriously look into finding a personal trainer and WORK weights on the areas you feel needs an improvement. The fact that you are in the 18-21 age range will make it "easier" for you to regain muscle then if you were twice that old. You need a STEADY routine and take the time to get it done. A few squats and a little thread-mill won't change much.
I also agree that you NEED to learn to love your body not the body your BF likes. Do you think the only reason he kept you around was a juicy butt and thighs? If so, is that REALLY what you want in a mate?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2013): HiYou bum and thighs would not have sagged if you lost weight gradually. Anyway, you need to continue exercise and eat healthy. the skin will fix it self but take months. Its the same principal when a woman falls pregnant put on a lot of weight and loses it within three months after giving birth, the skin sags and looks terrible but its takes a year or 2 and it fix itself, not 100% but does not look terrible.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 March 2013):
 BUNS OF STEEL!!!
Sorry, probably before your time. That's an old workout video. Really, you need to be less concerned about what people think of you and try to be happy in your own skin.
What does your boyfriend think of the new you? Has he been enthusiastic with the changes? Has he seemed to be turned off by you now?
Body image issues lead to all sorts of problems, but the thing is, they are almost always in our own head. Your BF has been with you for 3 years. He likely loved you just the way you were. It's his family who was insensitive, and him a little for telling you what he did, but really it's your BF who needs to love you, not them.
Really, it's best for you to do what makes you happy. If you're happy working out and trying to change, then more power to you. If not, you shouldn't be doing it.
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