A
female
age
30-35,
*dviceneeded01
writes:Hi, Thanks for reading this, I really need some advice. My girlfriend of 1 year and a half has just split up with me. We have an amazing relationship, before christmas everything was perfect.One night before christmas, we were at her house and we got broken into as a man walked into our room, it was so scary, i immediately moved her into my home ( i still live with my parents) which obviously isnt ideal.A week after that had happened my girlfriend needed to go and see her dad for christmas, he lives in America, we live in England. she went away for two weeks and was due back, got back to london, and had to fly out the next flight, her dad had a serious accident! He was in intensive care, on a breathing machine and couldnt move his whole body. His work requires him to be active, yet he was ill and he couldnt speak for 6 weeks.She eventually came home, she goes into herself during arguments, and other things, she didnt open up to me, she never spoke to me about it.I didnt realise how bad she was coping because she didnt talk to me about it.She also sometimes has her priorities in the wrong order, she will sometimes put her friends before me, but apart from that, she came home a diffeent person, and us living at my parents didnt help, we werent getting on great, but i didnt think it was bad enough to split up!since she was back though, i didnt feel loved, and i felt very neglected , i know that she had so much going on, but when she doesnt let me in, its hard for me. So she split up with me this week, telling me she needs to be on her own right now, kind of making me come up with my own conclusions, which is driving me crazy, i dont know if she wants to get back with me when she feels better, seen as it wasnt the relationship, it the horrible situation..i feel lost and upset, she's not talking to me, and i dont know how to react! I'd love some advice, do you think this is it.. when i ask if we could get back when she is feeling better she keeps saying she doesnt know how she will feel. im heartbroken.. thank you for reading, and i would really like to hear what you think. Thank you x
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christmas, heartbroken, live with my parents, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 March 2013):
 Boyfriends/good friends need to be supportive during hard times. And I think the best way that you can be supportive is to allow her exactly what she asks. She needs room to breathe. I'm sure having two lives in two countries is very difficult for her, and then having to maintain a relationship along with all of the stress and obstacles in her life right now... I can see why she's exhausted and why she needs time and space.
The best thing you can do is to give her the space that she needs. If she contacts you, tell her that you recognize that her life is very difficult and that you respect her need for space. Wish her Dad recovery and wish her strength through this hard time. That's all.
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with this. Break ups are tough. Find yourself some good friends, good distractions, have a good cry and start moving on. Good luck, sweet!
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 March 2013):
 She needs her space and you need to give it to her. Breaking up sucks, but once it's done, it's best left in the past.
Take the time you need to grieve the loss of this relationship. It's gone. Perhaps after some time you can talk to her and try to get some closure, however now is not the time.
Regardless of why it ended, you need to focus on yourself and what you need right now. It's all you can do.
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