| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I cannot shake this guy off and I don't want to be mean. Help!
Q. A couple weeks ago I went out on a date with this guy. I'll call him Brett. We were introduced through a mutual friend. At first he seemed like a really nice guy and we talked through email and over the phone for a couple days before he asked me out ...
A. 3 June 2011: The other aunts have explained it very well.
Be VERY clear with this man and do not give him any open ended answers. You are NOT interested in meeting him, and this is non negotiable. You don't owe him any explanation or justification.
Stop AL... (read in full...)
Pros and cons of being friends with an ex?
Q. What are the pros and cons of being friends with an ex? Im trying to decide what i should do with my first love now that she is my ex. It is hard to decide because the reason we broke up is because she started liking someone else and decided to date ...
A. 2 June 2011: The way I see it, if they're an ex, then stay away from them. You cant really go back to being friends with an ex unless both of you are EXTREMELY secure in your present lives. Even so, its not entirely possible to forget the past, and sometime or ... (read in full...)
30 year old virgin - got no one to talk to or ask for advice
Q. Hello everyone, I'll get straight to the point. Im a 30 year old virgin, dont know how but i am. Its sad and im ashamed of it. I get nervous when im close to women, i feel i have no experience. Im average looking, workout in the gym alot, got a ...
A. 1 June 2011: Wow...this is just unfortunate. You sound like such an amazing person and I can completely understand what you're going through. You know its unfair that there is so much pressure on people to have sex and lose their virginity...virginity IS really ... (read in full...)
He denies sleeping with her, but she is saying it is true!
Q. I am four month pregnant with my boyfriends baby, I found Messages on his facebook suggesting he was doing something. I've asked him and he says he hasn't, I have asked her and she tells me that he has been seeing her and that they have had sex more...
A. 31 May 2011: Sounds like he's lying. The facebook messages, the denial, the refusal to take you to confront her...it all adds up against him. Either he proves his honesty or he's out of your life. Please don't get drawn in by the "how can you not trust me" crap. ... (read in full...)
How do I get a long distance relationship back into wanting to love me?
Q. I fell into a long distance online love relationship. Unfortunately we never met, but he promised we would, till I brought up life after death, and where we'll spend eternity. He claimed to be a Christian, but I was quickly told to get away, and ...
A. 31 May 2011: LOTS of signs why this is not a good idea.
1.) Its an LDR where you havent even met. Its difficult enough in the first place, to sustain an LDR when couples have been together for a significant amount of time.
2.) Its an online relationship. Yo... (read in full...)
Am I being slutty? How do I regain my self respect?
Q. all my friends (in a jokey way) always call me slutty and its always just been a bit of a laughy joke, but i really think i am, i seriously cant help it but its not like i have sex with loads of boys just i flirt with different boys at the same ...
A. 31 May 2011: You're not respecting yourself the way you should be...and if you dont respect yourself, nobody else will.
A little bit of fun flirting once in a while is good, but don't take it too far. You're young and likely to get carried away. Why do you a... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'??
Q. What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'? I can't think of what this means at all and how they do that..........
A. 30 May 2011: It means that they need some time for themselves when they need to introspect and reflect upon and review their actions and thoughts.
But it depends really in what context this was said. It's also a one of the classic pseudo compassi... (read in full...)
My GF broke up with me saying that once she finds someone that has potential for the long run, she no longer wants to be in a relationship anymore!!!
Q. One week ago my girlfriend broke up with me at the beginning of summer. We've been together for some time now and it felt like the breakup came out of nowhere since we had fun with each other earlier that day (interestingly enough, this is the exact ...
A. 30 May 2011: Its people like your girlfriend who make the world such a confusing place!! She doesn't want to be with a perfectly great guy and now the guy's wondering, "what more could I have done"??!!
Honestly, just let it go. There is nothing you can or s... (read in full...)
Am I being ignored? Why no messages back?
Q. Here's one of those typical, age old "Why isn't he contacting me back?!" scenarios. I went on a date last week. I felt it went super well. I had fun and was extremely attracted to my date. He seemed into me. So, the next afternoon, I dec...
A. 30 May 2011: Call him and ask him...thats the best way for know. You cant depend on your phone...maybe he genuinely hasn't received your messages. ... (read in full...)
My husband wont end his affair
Q. Hi, i was hoping someone could advise me on my heartbreaking marriage. 3 years ago i found out my husband was having an affair, he swore he would give her up but he never did. Throught the 3 years ive found upto 30 secret phones - i bin them but...
A. 29 May 2011: This woman is not going to leave and neither will your husband leave her. He's having a ball...great family, submissive wife, children at home...and a young mistress on the side.
Its upto you to decide what you want. There's no reason to continue... (read in full...)
People say once a cheater always a cheater, but considering we were on opposite sides of the world, is this different?
Q. hi there Im feeling really insecure.Iv been with my partner for 5 years. He is from Germany I am from America.I met him when he came to university in america. As far as i was concerned our relationship was perfect and I wanted to spend my life wit...
A. 29 May 2011: A cheater, a liar and a smart alec for trying to get you to see his point. Basically a creep. Why do you want to be with this guy again? So that you can keep doubting him and he can keep "missing you" and having a nice time with other girls and then ... (read in full...)
Heart spamming on facebook makes me sick. Normal, or am I jealous?
Q. This is a mixed question, but I will try to explain what I mean best as possible. This is about how people choose to use facebook and the reactions people have to it. Im especially thinking about the couples who declare their undying love for...
A. 28 May 2011: Great post and I can SO relate to this!! I've never really understood this desire for PDA on social networking sites and it annoys the hell out of me. I never talk about my BF or discuss him in public, because its not necessary. Some things are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks at friend's facebook profiles when I am sleeping!
Q. my bf of almost 14 months gets on my facebook while im sleeping to look at other girls profiles. he also watches porn while im sleeping and even mutes the laptop so i cant hear. what is going on??...
A. 27 May 2011: Frankly, thats disgusting, creepy and very disrespectful to you. He's awful for going behind your back and looking up other girls...and porn!!Talk about pathetic!!
Please gather your self esteem and kick this guy to the curb. You're worth so much,... (read in full...)
My wife's sex life before she met me, and her attitude towards sex now have left me shattered....
Q. This seems to be a big topic here. I have read a lot of the responses from people and they are helping. What I notice is that there are two categories of people suffering from this. One is people who have had a lot of partners (maybe even more tha...
A. 24 May 2011: You're living in a self proclaimed dream world, wherein you've painted yourself as the victim, your wife is the smart one who's had her romp in the sack and has now settled for you and your life is hell because it lacks that "one other girl". You ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to have crushes on other women even in a dedicated long-term relationship?
Q. So I've had a pretty rough past two weeks here. My boyfriend of two years (lived with for a bit over a year) just broke up with me after a big incident. We'd decided we decided to move in too soon, and we figured a break would be ideal. We still ...
A. 19 May 2011: No its not normal. I can talk to other guys of course and get along well with them, but having a crush...no. Iv never thought of any other guy romantically ever since Iv been in a relationship with my boyfriend and I really dont see how people can ... (read in full...)
The wedding is so close and I know I love this guy but why do I keep focusing on reasons why the wedding shouldn't happen when the date is so close and there is a kid involved?
Q. The man I am with treats me very well, and treats my 7 year old kid just the way I would want a step parent to treat her, but there is no heat in our relationship anymore and I am SOOO infatuated with a guy I used to work with and constantly see him ...
A. 19 May 2011: This is such a difficult situation to be in and I can understand the conflict within you right now. OP, marriage is a lifetime commitment. Its with a person whom we love and are ready to share our ENTIRE life with. We build a home with them. Do you ... (read in full...)
She refused to shave after eveything I do for her...
Q. Dear fellow readers, I have found myself stuck in a very fragile situation and I am in need of some serious, thought out advice. I am 16 and have been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I have hit a brick wall. A few weeks ago I ask her to ...
A. 19 May 2011: You cannot impose your desires on her in ANY way. She doesn't want to shave. Period. You're trying to arm-twist her into shaving, because you apparently do "so so much for her". Well who asked you to? If you were genuinely doing anything for her, ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep attracting stray animals?
Q. Please help me, as my heart is breaking! I love animals but I don't think I'm meant to have a pet for thte rest of my life. I have always loved pets, but right now I am not in a position where I would deliberately go out and adopt on...
A. 18 May 2011: I love animals myself, and I'm CRAZY about dogs, so I can completely relate to you. Why do you feel that you cant ever have a pet in your life? Agreed you're not in a position to be a pet parent now, but I'm sure you will be very soon. Please dont ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish that I don't want my boyfriend's 2 kids to live with us?
Q. My boyfriend has two kids from a previous marriage. One is 7, and the other one is 5. They are two very hyper boys. We have a 9 week old together. I never knew his boys were living with their mothers grandmother. So, not too long ago, she told my...
A. 17 May 2011: You got involved with a man who has a lot of baggage and you have to deal with it now. If the kids' mom doesnt want them, then the father has to take care of them. They cant just be abandoned on the streets. Did you really never discuss the ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex is accusing me? And what should I say when I respond to his text?
Q. Right, so I went through a break up with someone called, lets call him D, I was heartbroken because I really did like him a lot, I was actually properly upset for a few weeks, like to the point where I stopped my studies and just stayed home in ...
A. 17 May 2011: Look,it could be either way. Either he's really lamenting the loss of that camera or he's trying to indicate you had something to do with it.
I don't think you should reply to that text message right now. What are you going to say anyway? ... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 16 May 2011: Ask for it back. In a way, it would bring closure for you too...you've moving to a new place, start anew. Leaving the top with her means you still had that glimmer of hope that it *might* work out again. But seeing that she's moved on already, that ... (read in full...)
What was the point in doing the right thing?
Q. When my ex betrayed me and dumped me callously for no reason, he somehow managed to turn everyone against me aswell. I don't know how he did it. I was shocked and devasted when we brokeup, it was completely out of the blue. I thought these people ...
A. 16 May 2011: If your friends are so foolish that they believe your ex without even knowing your side of the story, then you're better off not having such friends. As for the ex, good riddance to bad rubbish. ... (read in full...)
He cheated and then proposes with a $6000.00 ring?
Q. I just caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He took me on a trip a couple of months ago and took his side chick on the same trip a month ago, and I busted him down to the city and the hotel they were staying in. He appologized of course and said it ...
A. 14 May 2011: Forget $6000, dont even trust a $60000 ring at this point of time. He's trying to buy your feelings for him back, and he's trying to show you..."look honey, money isint an object. I love you thisssssss much.."
Work on your relationship first, c... (read in full...)
There is a rumour being spread about me and I need to know what to do to contain this rumour?
Q. Okay, so one night i hears from some friend that have you heard about a rumour that is spreading about you, i'm like no, but then i have some weird feeling in my stomach and have an inclination to ask, what rumour, and i am right. Somone said that...
A. 14 May 2011: The best way to react to a rumour is to not react at all. The more you argue and try to defend yourself, the more harassed you'll get. And thats what the person who started the rumour, wants.
Be completely normal and calm when you're at school. ... (read in full...)
I'm an average weight for someone my age, but my legs look awful in leggings and shorts!
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old teenager and now that I am older I tend to 'dress up' more than I used to, I normally wear jeans to school, but Leggings are so much comfier than jeans. so I would like to wear them more often. I have a problem though, ...
A. 12 May 2011: If you want to wear leggings, you can try teaming them up with Shirtdresses. With buttons on the front and a belt, they are flattering for most body types. Do not ever go for short tees and tank tops because most of us cannot carry that off!! Tunics ... (read in full...)
With all of his problems, what can I do aside from leaving him?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now and I'm completely confused as to what to do. I have no doubt that we completely loves me and wants to have a future with me, but he is unemployed and has been since I started going out with ...
A. 12 May 2011: Have one last talk with him. Tell him that this cannot go on forever and you cannot support and provide for him for eternity.It was ok for a while, but now he has to get over his problems, seek help, and get a job. Self pity never helped anyone. ... (read in full...)
My friend has taken me for granted. how do I deal with him in a nice way?
Q. I used to be friends with this guy in my class. We were really close, but then fell apart after I went through a difficult time with my parents and lashed out at him. Since then, though, he's been borrowing my bike, money, headphones and getting ...
A. 12 May 2011: From what you've written, it seems this guy is taking advantage of you. On the one hand he's borrowed your bike, money, headphones, etc, on the other hand, he wont respond to your messages. If I had to ever borrow anything from anyone, not only ... (read in full...)
Old boyfriend had cancer and I want to start it up again but I'm scared
Q. Hi, I think i need some opinions because am at a crossroads! Sooo I will have to start from the beginning so it makes sense. When I was 14 I went out with a lad I went to school with and afterwards we generally stayed in touch. He got diagnosed wi...
A. 12 May 2011: Go for it. Cancer is curable and I believe in miracles. God willing, this guy might be able to conquer cancer and if both of you are together then it would be wonderful!!
OP he's not idiotic and immature like kids his age because he has been thr... (read in full...)
Should I give my virginity to this married friend who wants to help?
Q. My story you may feel different. I'm 26, healthy, handsome and still a virgin man. I had tight foreskin and consulted doctor recently. He advised try to do handjob always with the help of porn in net or books which doesn't worked actually. And later ...
A. 11 May 2011: You can never put a situation right by doing something completely wrong. For starters and the BIGGEST reason not to: she's married. You cannot and should not have sex with a married woman. You'll be the "other" man, the dirty secret, the creep who ... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed for having a one-night stand!
Q. Hello, I was just wondering if anyone would be able to help with this rather unusual predicament I'm in. Two and a half years ago I had a one night stand. I didn't think clearly about it and I instantly regretted it. The guy I had sex with remaine...
A. 11 May 2011: Do not meet this guy because thats all that he wants. If you do meet him, he's going to think that he can do it whenever he wants and make you dance to his tunes. Let him say whatever he wants. Trust me, when these people say they want to meet you ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep leaving me and then come back?
Q. Me and My ex boyfriend were broken up for two month now he Left Me Because he said that we Just weren't right for each other. Well it's been sometime Now and I was starting to be okay with out him in my life. Until he called me saying stuff like ...
A. 11 May 2011: Do you really not know the answer to this one? Or you just want a reassurance that he loves you? Why do you think he keeps coming back to you? Because you're the most convenient thing that ever happened to him. He knows you're an option thats always ... (read in full...)
I'm lonely. My husband's a serial cheater. Would he really care if I had an affair?
Q. I have been married to the same man for almost 23 years. I divorced him once because he cheated on me...then we remarried. For the past ten years,he has cheated on me. Last year I found out he was involved in a four year affair. He swore he love me....
A. 8 May 2011: Staying in the dead marriage and having affairs for your gratification is never a good option. How long will all this continue for? There's nothing left here; walk out, lead your own life, stop expecting anything decent out of him.... (read in full...)
My b/f found out about my chats, phone calls with co-worker and broke off with me. I don't even know how he found out!
Q. Ive done a really stupid thing and now its gotten out of hand, and i dont know what to do,im 26 and have a boyfriend.About 2 months ago a male work colleague and I started talking,then hanging out,then swopped phone numbers, and started ...
A. 29 April 2011: Talk about a mess. I know this is the last thing to want to listen to right now, but WHAT on earth were you thinking???!
Your BF's anger is understandable. Getting hold of call logs is easy and if he knows your password, he can easily dig into you... (read in full...)
My intuition tells me no....but my whole body and 99.99% of my mind says yes!
Q. okay ive been talking to this guy on fb chat and he says really nice things to me. he tells me im awesome, that im a babe, im hot that he loves talking to me. that he misses me and that he wants to see me again. but the thing is that ive seen him ...
A. 28 April 2011: You love the attention that you're getting from him. You like being told that you're awesome and a babe and that he's missing you. It makes you feel wanted. In reality though, someone who really loves you, will never think of you as an awesome ho... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's grandmother wants him to date/marry a lighter woman and I feel hurt by this when I cared so much for her health. Now, I don't know what to think...Please help me
Q. So i have been in this great relationship with this guy for almost a year. We get along great. My family likes him and I think his family loves me. he is a great guy and we both love each other very dearly. I can actually imagine a future alongside ...
A. 26 April 2011: I understand this is very hurtful, but you should not take this to heart. The grandmother is old, has rigid views about things which will never change now and while that doesnt make her a bad person, you have to ignore it, because thats how she is. ... (read in full...)
I check on partner's ex and he broke up with her 10 years ago!
Q. I am obsessed with my partners ex. I just constantly check her facebook page and look at pictures of her and her husband. My partner and her broke up almost 10 years ago! I think I am going mad, can someone please give me some tips to stop!...
A. 26 April 2011: You have to be objective about life and your boyfriend's past. You have to realize that his ex was in his PAST, when you were not a part of his life. You cannot change his past, nor can anyone. But he broke up with her and he has chosen to be with ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has no feelings toward his ex at all, is this normal?
Q. My partner says he is over his ex. He has no photos. no mementos, does not speak to her, does not email her, and he has often said (on me asking) that he never thinks about her. Also, when she does come up (I bring her up btw) he is usually negative ...
A. 26 April 2011: Thats exactly how one should feel about an ex. When you become indifferent about them, it means you have moved on from them...for GOOD. It means not holding on to any resentment, anger, feelings(good or bad), having no expectations, and basically ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been going through a crisis in life and is unsure about her feelings for me. My life has come crashing down...
Q. I am new to this forum and probably wouldn't have ever posted if it weren't for one of the most painful turn of events which might change my life forever. my girlfriend and I had been going steady since dec 2007. we were exact opposites...
A. 23 April 2011: Thats a tough one. I can sense the pain you're going through, but I think as of now, you should just leave her alone. OP you can never "get" anyone back. Thats entirely upto them, to decide if they want to come back to you or now. All you can do, is ... (read in full...)
Heroin use during first 3 months of pregnancy... Should I abort?
Q. I am 9 weeks pregnant (my first time ever, and it was unplanned), and I have an abortion scheduled for 5 days from now. Up until today, I was positive I was not going to continue with the pregnancy and was for sure going to get an abortion. Because ...
A. 22 April 2011: Its not about being a bad person or having others think you're a bad person. You will be making a life changing decision and bringing another person in this world whose life you will be responsible for. You have to give up drugs for life and CANNOT ... (read in full...)
She asks me for help, for advice at all hours of the day and night...and then finally when I ask her out she says she just likes me as a friend!!!
Q. OK I had this friend, a girl, who I was interested in, right. And she probably knew it, I mean how could she not since I went outta my way to help her. Now she would call me for advice, for help when she was in trouble. And I would always help her...
A. 22 April 2011: I have a slightly different view point but as Cerberus said, I ACTUALLY feel sorry for these girls because they're so useless and need someone along to help them with everything.
Was it wrong for her to take so much from you? Yes. Because no one c... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suggesting all these sex improvement operations for me?
Q. Been with boyfriend for 10 years, have always been there for him in every way. I take care of myself financially, stay fit, work out four days a week, dress sexy, do what I can to keep things exciting. The other night he brought up me having a ...
A. 21 April 2011: No its not normal. If you love someone, you love them unconditionally. As you grow old, your body will age too...and if he doesn't understand that, then he's very immature. Its disrespectful, in the very least. Now he wants your labia reduced and ... (read in full...)
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