A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so one night i hears from some friend that have you heard about a rumour that is spreading about you, i'm like no, but then i have some weird feeling in my stomach and have an inclination to ask, what rumour, and i am right. Somone said that i am gay and i have feelings for another girl. I am not going to lie, because i do and the person knows it, but i obviously in answer to my friend asking I sounded shocked and horrified about this and said that it wasn't true. The next day i was ill and did not go to school, and then i hear from all my friends about this rumour and that it is spreading fast around the school, im really worried what will happen when i go back.my friends are re-assuring me that it's obviousl a lot of people don't believe it, but i dont know what to do! Im soo angry at whoever found out and spreaded this rumor. I dont know what to do? And now i'm denying everything because i'm getting really annoyed and i got an inclination that if people go on about it, i will get into a fight whether its boys or girls. This isnt good for my reputation, i have my friends are there for me, though but i think i know who started it.But I think she started the rumour at the request of another person and is covering for someone. what do you think i should do? I need help fast please, im gettin so angry and i can't relax and I can't sleep. HELP Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): i agree with A fewmale reader ''anonymous''
Seriously, keep you'r head high and be brave! just tell the truth, but with an important flair of, who cares? and i'm not saying you should go to school with LESBIAN written on your head, nor should you shout IM A LESBIAN in class, but when people ''accuse'' you of being one you should say: Yes and so what? Do you have a problem with that?
Try to make them feel a bit guilty, like they should.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 People with any integrity do not spread rumors. A person spreading rumors has already marked themselves as inadequate. If they had the courage they would tell you to your face what they thought. And he honest.
Don't get defensive. Don't try to defend in a way that might make people assume there was 'something' to this rumor.
Laugh when they tell you. Even if you do have feelings for this girl and do not yet want to act on it then it is your business. Even if you wonder if you are gay but are not yet comfortable with those feelings then that is your business alone.
Sure it makes you anxious and sad.
Who exactly is trying to make you squirm is not your friend and not someone you can trust. That goes for the initiator of the rumor and the spreader of the rumor.
Next time you hear it just look bemused or roll your eyes.
Ask 'Oh the poor little thing, she's at it again is she?'
Or try the broken record approach, same answer every time.
Say put clearly to the next person who asks, 'I don't like rumors and the people who start them clearly have 'issues' which are none of my business'
Then get on with something else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): well if it's true, why are you so insistent on denying it? there's nothing wrong with liking someone of the same sex, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
i've always found the best way to head off rumors and people talking smack is to hold your head high regardless, and tell the truth. if you deny it, it fuels the fire because people think you view yourself weakly. if you aren't ashamed of yourself, no one else can make you feel ashamed. be open and honest with yourself and own it. if someone comfronts you, tell them "yeah, it's true. who cares?" if you lose friends over it, then they weren't really your friend in the first place.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 The best way to react to a rumour is to not react at all. The more you argue and try to defend yourself, the more harassed you'll get. And thats what the person who started the rumour, wants.
Be completely normal and calm when you're at school. If someone asks you about this, reply in a very cool way and say..."you think I have nothing better to do than talk about this meaningless nonsense?"
If you get angry, its going to serve the purpose of the person who's behind all this. Just stay calm and collected and do not bother. Trust me, it will soon be forgotten.
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