| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My partner couldn't be bothered that I miscarried our baby, and he's been busy texting his ex while I'm going through hell!
Q. Hi I've been with my partner for 3 half years. I was due to move on with him next month. In October I found out I was pregnant and was so happy. I'm 41 and my son has left home. My bf wasn't too keen at first but eventually began to get excited....
A. 7 December 2011: "Watch a man in times of... adversity to discover what kind of man he is; for then at last words of truth are drawn from the depths of his heart, and the mask is torn off. "
~Lucretius, On the Nature of Things
I'm sorry you had to go through t... (read in full...)
Vulgar bulgur
Q. Okay I know this is a rather silly question, but the other night my gf cooked this dish that I hated. She is a tender woman and so I haven't told her yet. The next day she said she was quite pleased with the flavor. Any tips on gently telling h...
A. 7 December 2011: Be honest, gently!!
"Honey, while that was a great dish, I like the other stuff that you make, much better than this one! In fact, I've been meaning to ask you to bake me the gorgeous batch of brownies that you used to, but haven't in a while. O... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 6 December 2011: Hi Abella,
As usual, I am in awe of you!
I think we are all extremely lucky to have you here, among us (especially me...you are my guardian angel!! ), and I just wish and pray for a lifetime of happiness, joy and health for you and your fam... (read in full...)
Meeting an old flame after 21 years and still miss her as much....
Q. Hi I am 43 yrs old married happily with kids, recently due to face book i met my very old flame and we spoke a few time and decided to catch up in another country where i was traveling for work. We met up there and spent three beautiful days t...
A. 5 December 2011: There's a reason why it's called unrequited love...its unresolved and there is always a feeling of "what if..."
But OP, now that you are married, you know that you cannot take this further, right? Sure you feel good being around her and you like... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother hates me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years our relationship is great, however there is one problem... His older brother. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 25 and his brother is 27. They still both live at home, so whenever I'm around his brother is too. For ...
A. 5 December 2011: Honestly, it doesn't matter what the brother's problem is, it DOES NOT give him a license to misbehave with you.
Who in this world doesn't have problems? All of us do, but that doesn't mean we become inhuman towards others and behave like jer... (read in full...)
Why am I feeling so sad and angry all the time?
Q. I'm feeling sad and angry really easily all the time over nothing, I don't know what's happening to me, all I know is I've been feeling awful these days. I have a wonderful life, awesome friends, an amazing family and the best boyfriend I coul...
A. 5 December 2011: Trust me OP, it happens to most of us. At some point of time in our lives, we have all felt this way (I know I have!!)
Sometimes one doesn't even realize why they are stressed, but there's something that plays on your mind at a subconsc... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant for 5 seconds of sex, on my period??
Q. Is it possible to get pregnant whilst on your period? seriously!!? i had sex on the 4th day of my period so i was not heavy and my partner didnt even notice, however i had sex without a condom for literally 5 seconds and then i stopped it and said ...
A. 5 December 2011: Very unlikely to get pregnant, but please take a test to make sure. None of us here can help you regarding this and a few affirmations and contradictions from the agony aunts here cannot make a difference to anything that is happening to your ... (read in full...)
Urgent help needed!! I am meeting the creepy pervert who has my papers, in an hour and a half. How do I handle him and get my papers back? What can I tell him to offend him the way he deserves to be offended?
Q. Little urgent help please!!! I am a student and my financial situation is pretty bad at the moment. Things begun to look up when I landed a pretty decent part time job. The catch is I need to be a member of an association in roder to be able to ...
A. 4 December 2011: Hi OP,
This is the first time I've EVER been relieved to hear that someone's blind and old!! Thank God!!
Ok, its good that you're not going today, and I'm glad you're looking at getting someone to go with you. Either that, or wait for the oth... (read in full...)
Urgent help needed!! I am meeting the creepy pervert who has my papers, in an hour and a half. How do I handle him and get my papers back? What can I tell him to offend him the way he deserves to be offended?
Q. Little urgent help please!!! I am a student and my financial situation is pretty bad at the moment. Things begun to look up when I landed a pretty decent part time job. The catch is I need to be a member of an association in roder to be able to ...
A. 4 December 2011: And, I should add, if he does not return the papers, you have to inform the police.
Do not attempt to handle this on your own, if he doesn't return them to you today. This man needs a kick up his backside and he needs the cops to do it.... (read in full...)
Urgent help needed!! I am meeting the creepy pervert who has my papers, in an hour and a half. How do I handle him and get my papers back? What can I tell him to offend him the way he deserves to be offended?
Q. Little urgent help please!!! I am a student and my financial situation is pretty bad at the moment. Things begun to look up when I landed a pretty decent part time job. The catch is I need to be a member of an association in roder to be able to ...
A. 4 December 2011: Oh my GOD what a creep!!! Yuk! How disgusting can people get!
Ok first of all, most importantly, meet him in a public place. Tell him you do NOT need his help, tell him you are busy and you have to meet someone, just ask for him to come to a bus... (read in full...)
I feel awkward as hell. If I hurt my friend's feelings, it was COMPLETELY unintentional. What do I do now?
Q. I have an awkward little situation... A friend of mine was going through a breakup and to make her feel better I asked her if she'd like to come with me to a ballet show on a specific date. She said "you just have to remind me"...and that was it. ...
A. 4 December 2011: Nothing to feel awkward. If you feel this way, it will reflect in your behavior with her and you will unnecessarily end up creating a mountain out of a molehill.
She is the one who has been ignoring you ever since she got back with her Bf, so i... (read in full...)
My Gf got pissed that I dropped some rice in her bowl of soup, that I was angry at her and that I didn't call her, and now we shouldn't see each other till the end of the year! How trivial is that!!
Q. My gf and I are mad at each other. We’ve dated for about 16 months. I’m 27 and she’s 26. We’re each other's first gf/bf. We were eating at a buffet along with her sister. My gf returned to the table with a small bowl of soup and placed it on the...
A. 4 December 2011: Talk about over reacting!!
Your Gf is a drama queen and thrives on it. She just wants to be the center of attention in everything, she has no regard for your feelings and she needs the smallest reason to vent her frustrations.
The easiest v... (read in full...)
How do I remedy this situation? My family treat my 35 year old divorced friend (and his children) with a sort of tolerant disdain
Q. I'm 35, and I am dating a divorced father of two. My family make me feel really bad because, as they have put it, this is the "best I can do" at my age because I waited too long to get into a serious relationship, and it would difficult for me to fi...
A. 3 December 2011: This is not much left for you to do. You've tried your best, and if they still cant get themselves to like the man you're dating, then its just too bad for for your family. Just because he's a divorced man with kids, it doesn't make him a bad ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was my best friends "booty call". How do I get over this?
Q. My girlfriend of about 5 months now slept with my best friend two years ago - multiple times. I know this shouldn't bother me, but the fact that I know her past, and how she was (sleeping around/being a 'booty call'), has me skeptical. I have been ...
A. 2 December 2011: It is something that would bother most people, so your reactions are understandable. But the thing is, you *chose* to be in this relationship with her, despite knowing about her past.
I'm assuming you thought you could deal with it, but now you'... (read in full...)
Is it okay to have two wives?
Q. I have 7-year old wife to whom I have loved somuch and trust but later I realized she had had hidden lot of past history, for which I have gone through the hell and got fed up with thinking about but not able to leave her and go away and I had many ...
A. 2 December 2011: @ eyes wide open- I am!! That's the first thing that caught my eye!!... (read in full...)
I am interested in a 17 year old girl and her mother is encouraging us to have sex! Why??
Q. I am interested in a 17 year old girl who seems to like me but is a little reserved.She is an only child. Her mother is encouraging the relationship actively. She even told me that sex was okay if I loved her. What is mother up to? I find it a ...
A. 30 November 2011: Something's definitely wrong. This isn't normal by any stretch of imagination.
If the mother is encouraging you to have sex with her, how can you be sure that this hasn't happened with any other guy?
Steer clear of this mess. Nothing seems ri... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend get jealous over nothing?
Q. What is wrong with my girlfriend? She gets way too jealous over absolutely nothing. If I'm with one of my girl friends(Friends who are girls) then she gets jealous when all they are is friends. She has a ton of guy friends but I don't get jealous ...
A. 30 November 2011: She's insecure of you leaving her but she doesn't think twice about waltzing off with some guy.
She thinks of herself as a "catch" and somewhere deep down she looks down upon you. You are not an equal in the relationship, she treats you as the i... (read in full...)
Is this just mild, controlling behavior or something else?
Q. My bf of 2 years is really a sweet guy but he has this very mild, controlling behavior...For instance, if I ask him if we can get something to eat he will say "no, we just ate" or "no, have patience." At a restaurant, he controls what I eat and ...
A. 29 November 2011: OP please try to see the bigger picture. You might love this man and that is really entirely to YOUR credit that you've managed to love him for who he is.
But, and a very big BUT, he is not right for you. In fact, the way he's going, he is not r... (read in full...)
Is this just mild, controlling behavior or something else?
Q. My bf of 2 years is really a sweet guy but he has this very mild, controlling behavior...For instance, if I ask him if we can get something to eat he will say "no, we just ate" or "no, have patience." At a restaurant, he controls what I eat and ...
A. 28 November 2011: "Mild, controlling behavior"? Change it to major control freak.
I would personally feel claustrophobic with a person like this. No one can or should order you around, and by listening to him, you are actually encouraging his behavior.
Next ti... (read in full...)
Is he telling me the truth about working in Porn films? Or just saying it to shock me? How should I react?
Q. well at this moment in time im very confused! I've been seeing this guy for a while now and i knew he had a bit of a strange past since the beginning! but he has told told me he used to film porn movies and has also had sex with porn stars......
A. 28 November 2011: If he's saying the truth, then you have to look at it as someone who has made a very unconventional career choice and that's how his life has been.
If he's lying, then he's an ass who's getting cheap thrills out of this. Lying about somethin... (read in full...)
How to deal with my messy flatmates?
Q. Hey everyone, I was wondering if you could advise me how to deal with this situation. Basically, I am in first year of university, living in halls in a flat with 5 other girls. We share a kitchen/ living area. I get on with them alright, but they...
A. 28 November 2011: I agree with the poster who said that complaining only makes things worse in these situations, so here's what you can do.
For the last time, clean your plates and keep them in your room. Buy a packet of disposable paper plates and keep it in the k... (read in full...)
Drunken night led to sex with college mate and now I don't know how to handle seeing him!
Q. oh dear I have really made a HUGE mistake. I'm a mature student, and on a night out recently I slept with one of my peers. I rarely drink (holidays and special occasions) and this evening I was totally out of character and got so terribly te...
A. 24 November 2011: You couldn't have done better! You handled the situation in the best possible way. Be professional and keep it at that. Don't let his problems become yours. What's done is now buried, look ahead and all the best with your studies!!
Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Finally decided to take control over my health but people around me are not helping!
Q. Hi everyone, I was wondering if you could help with with an issue I have been having. I have finally decided to take control over my health, and wish to start eating much better, exercising, with the goal of getting fitter and losing weight. ...
A. 23 November 2011: I've faced the same problem too.
I had ended up gaining a lot of weight because of my food habits..I used to literally live on Coke and eat junk food all day long. Anyway, I finally decided enough is enough and if I don't take charge of myself n... (read in full...)
Drunken night led to sex with college mate and now I don't know how to handle seeing him!
Q. oh dear I have really made a HUGE mistake. I'm a mature student, and on a night out recently I slept with one of my peers. I rarely drink (holidays and special occasions) and this evening I was totally out of character and got so terribly te...
A. 23 November 2011: Talk to him before class and tell him that while you are really sorry for whatever happened, it would be best if both of you could just leave it at that and carry on as just classmates.
Be polite, but keep your interaction with him as professi... (read in full...)
This girl who my fiance works with, thinks its her responsibility to wake him up every morning for work! If he doesn't answer she will keep calling like 5-6 times!
Q. My fiance and I are both 20 and well he has this girl that is his friend who also works with him and she calls my fiance every morning like an hour before he has to go to work and tells him not to be late.If he doesn't answer she will keep calling ...
A. 21 November 2011: If you have spoken to your BF about it and this is still happening, then next time onward answer the phone yourself. Be very matter-of-fact, and ask her if there is a message that you can take for your fiance. Tell her that in case she's wondering ... (read in full...)
How do I let him down gently without hurting him?
Q. I'm friendly with a guy thru my circle of friends. We met recently and he's very nice and funny BUT too young for me and I don't think I feel any sparks. He's been trying to get me to go out and I wouldn't mind but not more then as friends. How do I ...
A. 21 November 2011: There's no easy way to do this, you just have to be direct and honest. Next time he tries to ask you out, just tell him the truth. "Hi Tom, I'm flattered that you want us to go out on a date. But I'm not sure I feel the same way and I don't want to ... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any quotes/sayings that they live by or feel inspired from?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but I am getting a quote painted on my wall above the mirror, I want it to be something that when I wake up and look at everyday, I feel inspired by it! Something about either, life, success, our future, ...
A. 21 November 2011: "Speak when you are angry---and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."
"Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any quotes/sayings that they live by or feel inspired from?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but I am getting a quote painted on my wall above the mirror, I want it to be something that when I wake up and look at everyday, I feel inspired by it! Something about either, life, success, our future, ...
A. 21 November 2011: Oh this is a great question!
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by every moment that takes your breath away."
"Accept everything about yourself--I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the en... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I want to wait till marriage to have sex now!
Q. I'm 19, going on 20, and my boyfriend is 20. Now, I'm the kind of girl that always believed in the "no sex before marriage" rule, and pretty much raised to believe sex is a taboo thing that is only for married couples, to make babies. But recently ...
A. 20 November 2011: Its completely fine to adhere to the "no sex before marriage" rule. But you have also realized that maybe you feel the need to go all the way. Perfectly natural, if you have a Bf and you have been experimenting with sexual stuff.
The issue he... (read in full...)
My ex wants back a gift he gave me when we were together. Should I give it back/
Q. Hello everyone, just a quick question. My friends and I are split on the subject, so need a few opinions off you fabulous lot. My ex boyfriend text me saying he hated me. No problem for me. I didn't fly off the handle, may have ranted a bit to...
A. 19 November 2011: He probably wants it back so desperately so that he can sell it in exchange for drugs. Anyway that's his problem, not yours.
I suggest you give it back, so that he doesn't have any reason to keep harassing you. In any case its useless for you. Hav... (read in full...)
Astonished that he could have done something so evil
Q. Okay, here's the situation. I met this guy randomly and he asked for my number. I met him after a few days for a first day, and we instantly clicked. I saw him again and again for months and quickly fell in love with him. After the first month I ...
A. 19 November 2011: Give him a chance? For what? To cheat/dupe/fool you again? Is this humiliation not enough? This man's wife is right on the money...he is nothing but a piece of scum. Believe me, if he was even 0.00001% worth having, she would have fought for him. ... (read in full...)
What are symptoms of a ruptured uterine fibroid, and treatment?
Q. Havent been feeling well all week. Fatigue, adominal pain... woke up this morning with exteme adominal pain and bleeding. Have a history of uterine fibroids. Had intercourse on wednesday and it was a little painful. Is it possible i had one and it ...
A. 18 November 2011: If you feel unwell in anyway, please get off the internet and go to the doctor right NOW. This is not a website where we can provide anyone with any kind of medical help. I'm surprised you want others opinion when you have extreme pain and bleeding. ... (read in full...)
How can I change my G/f's mind about sex? She's had some nasty experiences in the past but my friends' are nagging me about why its taking so long with her
Q. Hey guys, me and my gf have been dating for 5 months already. The thing is she's a virgin and I'm not, I of course care about her and do not want to pressure her into doing anything shes uncormfotable with. We've been talking about sex (well maybe ...
A. 18 November 2011: You cant "teach" anyone about sex being good or bad. Its for her to judge when she feels right about it. If you truly love and respect a person, you will never make things uncomfortable for them. Just let her be and behave like a gentleman and not ... (read in full...)
My marriage isn't working, I'm involved with a married woman and I cant even divorce my wife and be with her, because she says her husband is abusive and will harm us both.
Q. I am 38 and I have been married for 19 years to a woman 2 years older than I am. My marriage has been difficult. We even separated for a year 10 years ago. Our sex life is poor and we have some really deep issues that we cannot compromise on. One ...
A. 17 November 2011: Your lover is lying. On the one hand she has no qualms about having having an affair with you, and on the other hand she is happily blaming her "abusive" husband, as a reason to comfortably stay on in the marriage.
If this man is as abusive ... (read in full...)
Relationship 90/10 on my side. And thats a generous 10 for her. Help!
Q. This is my first post here on this site, I'd like to thank all the users who help out, as best they can, with the situations brought forth by others. So my situation; I've been with my girlfriend for 1 year and 4 months. This is most certainly t...
A. 16 November 2011: She's just not that into you anymore.
The relationship has lost its charm, she seems bored and half-hearted about everything and she probably thinks she has more in common with the new guy than with you, at this stage. That is why, the conversa... (read in full...)
My wife's son is tearing us apart! What to do?
Q. i have caught my wife's son (21 year old) with large quanities of skunk weed 3 times now, the first about a week after we were married 2 years ago,it turns out that he has been reported to the police on 5 occations by 3 different people on our ...
A. 16 November 2011: Your wife had possibly her son when she was young, and given the fact that she hasn't had a very stable life relationship-wise (considering she had 2 lovers before marrying you), she has grown to see her son as her source of strength. After all, he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely lazy, has no ambitions in life and his personal hygiene is a big issue!
Q. My boyfriend is extremely lazy and has no ambitions in life. He doesn't do his schoolwork, puts everything off till last minute, has no eagerness to do anything. When I come over his house, usually I would want to go somewhere but he will instead ...
A. 16 November 2011: Now that he doesn't have the thrill of the chase, he's let himself drift. He knows he has you and that you love him and will not leave him, despite how he is. He's cashing in on that and taking you for granted.
Ask him to shape up or ship out... (read in full...)
Everything went great, he took me to his house, I met his mom...but then he tried to kiss me and I freaked out! Now he's gone from calling and texting me everyday to nothing!
Q. I am a freshman in college. I met this Cuban guy in the Finacial aid office and I have been thinking of him ever since...... I had a little crush on him. Two months later I saw him again at the library, and he said I wonder why I keep running into ...
A. 16 November 2011: You hurt and humiliated this guy.
You stay in his house till 1 am on the first date, what does that mean? Of course you're hinting that you like him! If you thought the kiss was inappropriate, you could have just stopped him and asked him to s... (read in full...)
I'm married and now my lover is also married I'm struggling to accept she is physical with another man....I don't want to share her!
Q. I am married and had a relationship with collegaue in office. We got along for couple of years well including physically and now she got married to a guy. She says she wants to continue being physical with me but I am finding it hard to accept now ...
A. 15 November 2011: So you are married, cheating on your wife, having sex with another woman and you actually have the nerve to say you don't want to "share" the other woman with anyone else...pardon me, but what exactly gives you the moral right to question anything ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to take care of kids, I don't think they're cute, I don't like them or know what to do with them, and I don't want one, ever.
Q. Today I was talking with my mom, and my sister, who joined in, and they said it was wierd that I have no maternal instinct. Every woman in my family, and even a lot of men LOVE babies and kids, whenever there's a baby around, everyone coos over it, ...
A. 15 November 2011: I can completely relate to your post...its just the very words I would say!! I cant stand children, I never want to have children because i know I cannot ever do justice to them because I just cant STAND kids. I love dogs though, and I have ... (read in full...)
GF won't let me walk her home.
Q. I've been dating a girl from work for almost six months now and we have been getting along very well in that time. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like as she also works as a live-in carer looking after a man who is 71 years ...
A. 14 November 2011: I personally don't think she is hiding anything; maybe the atmosphere at the old man's place isn't the best and she doesn't want any drama with him. Sometimes aged people can be very persnickety and irritating and they want details for everything ... (read in full...)
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