| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I can't convince her to leave her husband.
Q. I am having trouble coping with the guilt I feel about the relationship my girlfriend and I have. She is married and has been married for 8 years, her and I have been seeing each other for 3 years and I can seriously say I love that women. When...
A. 1 March 2011: You cant convince her to do anything she doesnt want to. She had the choice and she has CHOSEN to be with her husband. That is a decision which she has taken and you cannot force her or convince her to change it in any way. Its not that she is a 5 ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my mom's partner!!
Q. Hi, I did something really horrible and I don't know what to do. Basically I had sex with my mum partner and they been out with eachother for 8years. I'm only 18 myself and I don't know why it happend. I'm carrying so much guit with me all around ...
A. 28 February 2011: If you're more comfortable writing a latter,then do that. Just make sure this man doesn't find the letter before your mum does!... (read in full...)
Is it risky to use coconut oil or butter for vaginal lubrication?
Q. Will using coconut oil or butter for vaginal lubrication be unhealthy or risky?...
A. 28 February 2011: Please dont experiment with any of this stuff. You could end up with urinary tract infections, yeast infections, and/or bacterial infections.
People react differently to different things...maybe coconut oil and butter has worked for someone ... (read in full...)
Iv stood by this girl in every way, yet now she's back to her ex who used to abuse her physically and emotionally!!
Q. Hello, I have been dating this girl for about 6 months, when all of a sudden she started to ignore me. The relationship was going great, we got along great, we had fun together, nothing was going wrong. She had been ignoring me for about 2 week...
A. 28 February 2011: I feel for you, and I know it must be terribly frustrating...but there's only so much that you can do. You have done enough as it is, and if she doesn't see it, well then, just too bad for her.
Ultimately its her choice, and sometimes our choi... (read in full...)
I had sex with my mom's partner!!
Q. Hi, I did something really horrible and I don't know what to do. Basically I had sex with my mum partner and they been out with eachother for 8years. I'm only 18 myself and I don't know why it happend. I'm carrying so much guit with me all around ...
A. 28 February 2011: Sorry sweety...no way out of this one...you have to tell your mum.
For starters, what this man did was WRONG. No excuses. Your mum needs to know what a scum bag she's dating and both of you need to kick this man out of your lives.
Otherwise, th... (read in full...)
My best friend is pregnant. My fiance is the father. Should we continue with planning our wedding as he wants to?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for five years and we are getting married in six months so technically he is my fiance. Everything was going so well for me i felt like i was living in a fairytale. My best friend since second grade was help...
A. 27 February 2011: Oh my God...are you STILL wondering what you should do???
RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
You have a cheat of a fiance who got your best friend pregnant!! If you get married to him, and your best friend has his baby, do you realize how INCREDIBLY compl... (read in full...)
How can I gain clarity about my situation?
Q. This is my life. I live with my girlfriend. I get up for work at 6am everyday and return around 7pm. My girlfriend does odd jobs and persues her creative work. We have not had a sexual relationship for well over a year. I don't really know how this ...
A. 26 February 2011: Your girlfriend has made it very clear to you that she has her own life and you are not a part of it. Its a very convenient relationship for her, and honestly, not many people would have accepted all that you have. Actually, I dont even understand ... (read in full...)
I've found out my husband has been having affairs for years, so many questions..........
Q. Hi I have a few questions i would like your views on so please take the time and reply ty. A little about my situation. Iv been with my h/b for 32 yrs married for 22yrs every 1 thought we were the perfect couple until 3 yrs ago i found out that...
A. 24 February 2011: Il start by answering your last question first. You can move on from this by giving this man a well deserved kick on the rear and shoving him out of your life.
Its so upsetting to read about women who have lost confidence in themselves and have... (read in full...)
I have just had a miscarriage and he told me he cant deal with this right now, and wants a break! Should I fight for him?
Q. I've been with the same guy on and off for two and a half years. Its' a long distance relationship, we live at opposite ends of the country, but we see each other as often as we can. I recently (in the last week) had a miscarraige we didnt know I ...
A. 24 February 2011: How do you intend fighting for him? You cant force an insensitive creep like him to develop feelings. Its very easy for the man to bail out; even though it takes two to make a baby, the man has the choice of taking up ZERO responsibility. ... (read in full...)
I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about using me for sex and then breaking up!!
Q. hi everybody I've been crying my eyes out all day because when I was walked into the passway leading to my boyfriend's dorm room I overheard him bragging and giving high fives to his roommate about how he was going to break up with me after he ...
A. 24 February 2011: You know what sweetheart, dont waste your tears for this man. Thank God that you got to learn all this before any damage was done. Dont worry about people in your university laughing about this episode...people are much more understanding than you ... (read in full...)
I abruptly cut off all contacts from the person who means the most to me, because I have herpes. How do I deal with it?
Q. Hi Ags I was diagnosed with herpes two years ago so I stayed single because I'm humiliated about it and didn't want to get rejected by men. Somehow along the way I've fallen in love with a man who's also in love with me. We've been going out for ...
A. 21 February 2011: You cant keep running away from your problems like this. Escaping from troubles only makes them worse. If this guy means so much to you and he loves you back the same way, he will stand by you. Also, its not right of you to avoid him like this and ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I had a miscarriage? I don't want to stress him out...
Q. I just found out I had a miscarriage,I didn't know I was pregnant so you can imagine I'm still a bit shaken, my question is about my boyfriend. We have a long distance relationship, things have been a bit rough lately and he's really stressed out ...
A. 21 February 2011: You HAVE to tell the father! No matter how difficult his life is, he needs to know! Getting pregnant and losing a baby is a big thing and its impact on your health, physically and psychologically will be enormous. You will need him beside you. Thats ... (read in full...)
How can I stretch my vagina?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been wanting to have sex. We've tried a a couple of times, but my vagina just was too small for his penis. How can I stretch my vagina a bit to enable him to enter?...
A. 21 February 2011: Lots of lubrication, foreplay...and take it slow. Try not to be stressed out during sex because that can clamp up the vaginal muscles and make penetration difficult. Sex is supposed to be fulfilling and fun! Even if it doesnt happen the first few ... (read in full...)
I don't want this guilt to be hanging over my head. How do I get rid of it?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I am very much in love with her. She took a job in a different state 5 months ago but we both still wanted to stay together. Last night, at a local bar after having way too much to drink, I ...
A. 21 February 2011: Guilt does not just vanish in one day. Give it time. If you truly regret it and you can promise yourself it would never happen again, and you have learnt from your mistake, then dont be too hard on yourself. You're very lucky to have a girlfriend ... (read in full...)
I caught my boyfriend cheating on me by the fake profile that I created. Where do I go from here?
Q. I have recently found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me having cyber sex on skype with random girls on the internet. I did this by creating a fake facebook and pretending to be another girl. I know that this is wrong, but I was already ...
A. 21 February 2011: You're right...its not worth talking to such a pathetic creep. I can imagine why you dont even want to go down that road and have that meaningless conversation. But you will have to give him a reason otherwise he would keep dancing on your nerves, ... (read in full...)
Would you be upset if your fiance didn't give you a Valentine and a birthday gift in the same week?
Q. If your fiancée doesn’t give you a Valentine or a birthday present (Feb. 17th) after 6 years would you be upset? I have spent months taking care of him after his cancer treatment. I would have loved a card, but he just calls me names....
A. 21 February 2011: Calls you names as in...? Does he abuse you?
Yes it would be upsetting to not be appreciated, but you havent given us much to work upon. How is it that you have stuck on to such a one sided relationship? Taking care of a cancer patient requires... (read in full...)
Husband of 12 years admitted to an affair and a child
Q. my husband of 12 years have an affair. i confronted him and he admitted. he have a child there. this is the worst thing. he asked for forgiveness from me. i love his so deeply and i want him back and lead a happy family life with our only son who is ...
A. 19 February 2011: I know you're hurting,but I dont think calling the other woman a slut is the right thing. Your husband was equally at fault...more so because he knew he was cheating on his wife and son.
You need to take some time and think about your relation... (read in full...)
Should I live with my friend even though having his gf there will make me so jealous and upset?
Q. Sorry... this is a long story. I’ve known a guy since I was 7 years old. Let’s call him John. He lived near my grandparents so I would see him at around Christmas time every year. My whole life I’ve had feelings for him. When we were a bit older...
A. 19 February 2011: Ok first things first. "Should I give up the plan of continuing my degree and just stay here?". The answer to that is an emphatic NO. Do not EVER change your life to accommodate a third person. John will be with some girl so you give up your degree. ... (read in full...)
What do I do with my intense love/hate relationship with my gf??
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, because my ex and I have a love-hate relationship. I've lost count of how many times she's dumped me and vice versa. Both of she and I work so hard to stay out of each others way so we can move on but then l...
A. 19 February 2011: The good thing is that you know your weaknesses. You KNOW that you're stubborn. You cant change her, but you can try to change yourself. The next time that you feel your temper rising, and there is a difficult situation, tell yourself that it DOES ... (read in full...)
Are my standards too high to get a girlfriend?`
Q. Hello all, I'm a seventeen (Virgin) year old boy. I do want a girlfriend but I'm worried that my standards are too high. I don't believe in ANY sexual contact whatsoever, I wouldn't date a female if she had voluntarily given her virginity away o...
A. 14 February 2011: There's a reason why you still dont have a girlfriend. Now you know what it is. The other aunts have said it.... (read in full...)
What are the odds my ex will want to come back to me?
Q. Super fast, speedy, short version: We broke up after a 2 year relationship. I always treated her well and loved her more than anything, but she felt we were becoming too "routine" despite how much I cared for her and thought we were growing apa...
A. 14 February 2011: OP, do you realize how INCREDIBLY lucky you are, to have such a supportive girlfriend? She knows that you still have feelings for your ex, yet she has chosen to stand by you. She could have been the one penning down a post here saying..."my ... (read in full...)
After having led me on with the promise of a life together, he suddenly decides to bail out. Should I tell his wife about the whole sham?
Q. Where to start. I fell in love with a married man. He told me that he was on his way out of his marriage. He gave me horror stories about his wife. 8, 9, 10 months go by and he and I are more in love than I've ever been with anyone and I'm not ...
A. 13 February 2011: You know it as well as we do...you want to tell the wife so you can get your revenge. But there's a chance she might not even believe you, and thats going to make you feel even worse. This man is such a slick liar...he'l convince his wife that ... (read in full...)
I know he's busy but doesn't he even have time for a brief message?
Q. Hello, Let me try to summarize the whole story really quickly. (for more detail on how things started, read "I want to show him I care without scaring him off". This is a followup.) I met a wonderful man who lives in another country not far...
A. 12 February 2011: Iv said this many times on this site and I'm saying it again: NOBODY is so busy that they dont have time even for one message. If a person WANTS to talk to you, he/she will. If they dont want, nothing can ever make them do it. Its as simple as that. ... (read in full...)
What are the odds my ex will want to come back to me?
Q. Super fast, speedy, short version: We broke up after a 2 year relationship. I always treated her well and loved her more than anything, but she felt we were becoming too "routine" despite how much I cared for her and thought we were growing apa...
A. 11 February 2011: You have a good girlfriend now, but whats stopping you from giving in 100%? The very fact that somewhere deep down you feel your ex girlfriend might come back to you.
However, given the fact that she was so fickle in what she wanted, there wa... (read in full...)
Is it dangerous to go meet a guy youve known online? HELP?
Q. So Im 18 and hes 21 he lives in washington and Ive been talking to him for around a year...I was thinking of going over to him in the summer! He wants a relationship with me would it be unsafe to live with him? Ive seen his facebook and all...
A. 10 February 2011: Yes it would be dangerous to consider a relationship with a complete stranger who you've met online; living with him is a BIG no. No matter how many facebook profiles you've scanned, it still doesnt say anything about him. And I agree with ... (read in full...)
He gets SOOO angry! Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend grabbed my head and slammed it against the door. He said that I wouldn't shut up (we were having an argument) and that because I followed him through the house (I was trying to get him to talk / listen) then I tip him over the edge and ...
A. 10 February 2011: Get out of your relationship NOW, before he hurts you more. Violence is NEVER acceptable, it is NEVER to be tolerated and NEVER to be justified. No matter how angry a person gets, he/she cannot hurt someone else.
People like your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Former boyfriend wants to be FWB but I want our relationship back
Q. So. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly a month ago now. Our breakup didn't end with the passion leaving our relationship, he just doesn't want to be tied down to a single person anymore. We're still good friends and we talk every day. We also hav...
A. 10 February 2011: Please dump him for good and move on. Treat yourself with the respect that you deserve.... (read in full...)
What is it about the "popular" girls that guys like so much?
Q. Why do guys like the girl who is most populari? The very pretti girl even if she is a mean? They like the easy girl. Do they not care that this girls have had so many boy-friends? They follo them like dogs and i feel girls like me Are left in the ...
A. 9 February 2011: At the age which you're in right now, most young boys think with their penis. The hormones are running wild, they're discovering the attraction towards girls...and these "popular" girls are everything they would want...pretty, easy and the talk of ... (read in full...)
Player... or used???
Q. I am 19 and I have being seeing someone for the last 3 months. Hes 26, has a good job and we live really close to each other. He added me over facebook but I did'nt know him as he was older. We have being going out for meals and lately I have being ...
A. 7 February 2011: "But something feels wrong and I dont know what"
Thats your clue. Run for the hills. Played, used...its all in the same category of DISGUSTING. You know something's not right, and you're correct about that. Just let go of this guy. You're probably... (read in full...)
She says she is going to break up my boyfriend and I. How do I handle this situation?
Q. Okay, quick question. I am a 16 year old girl, with a very good social life. I'm very popular, have lots of friends, and even have a sweet, caring boyfriend!(Yay!!) At the beginning of the year, I made a friend, let's call her Nicolette. Lately, ...
A. 7 February 2011: If you're even considering thinking about Nicolette's pathetic behaviour, then you're letting her win. Do you want that??
This girl pops out of the blue, takes a liking to your boyfriend, tells you she would break you guys up,...and now you're sayi... (read in full...)
Perfect relationship suddenly ends and she is with someone else in no time...WHY?
Q. Please bear with me, I will try to keep this concise but it isn't easy. The first week of August 2010 I began dating a woman. I am 30 she is 33. I had only been dating casually for the past few years, and generally tended to be the one t...
A. 6 February 2011: This is in no way acceptable behavior on her part, so stop blaming yourself for anything. It seems from what you have written that you have been played. If she thought there was any problem in the relationship, she should have at least had the ... (read in full...)
How can I tell someone I love him, when he's getting married in two months?
Q. Hi, I'm kinda at the end of my tether with something... how can I tell someone I love him, when he's getting married in two months? Or should I? But what can I do? Nothing has happened between us. I'm trying so hard to keep things platonic. I real...
A. 5 February 2011: No good can possibly come from telling this man now that you love him.
If a guy wants to be with you,he WILL. The fact that this man hasn't worked on whatever could have been, clearly means that he didn't want it. I know this is not what you want... (read in full...)
I still like him but it didn't work out because of the distance. Do we try again?
Q. I had a long distance relationship and I still like him. We both found people that we like in our own states, but nobody I have dated ever treated me like him(even though long distance.) I found out that he still ikes me, but last time we dated it ...
A. 4 February 2011: Dont let distance come in the way of love!! Go for it! So he's faraway from you...big deal! If you want it to work, it will...despite the distance and whatever other problems there might be. If you think this relationship has the potential to work ... (read in full...)
I know he is never going to leave his wife for me, so how do I go cold turkey when I have to see him everyday?
Q. Hello I am a 33 year old lady who has got myself into a bit of a mess. I started seeing a co-worker in December 2009. He and I are both married, unhappy, but both staying for childrens/financial sake. He only married in January 2010. He didn...
A. 3 February 2011: This guy doesn't love you. Plain, simple and brutally honest. Because, as the others have said, there is no excuse in love. Where was this great fatherly instinct of his during the 9 months of pregnancy and the first 2 yrs of his child's life? He is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me, now I don't trust him! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me we've been together for two years and i found out he slept with the girl he said that he realize he wants me but the trust is gone i thought he was a good guy what do I do?...
A. 3 February 2011: I'm sorry to hear about your situation...but its entirely your call now. If you think you can trust him and put the cheating behind you (provided of course he is 100% honest with you from now on), then you can give it a shot.
However, if you thin... (read in full...)
How can I bridge this terrible predicament?
Q. I am a middle-aged man, I have a daughter who was born when I was in my teens. Her mother and I were High school sweet hearts and I loved her very much. My daughters mother was unfaithful to me many times, I tried to make it work but I could no ...
A. 30 January 2011: How could you just leave and not even look back on your daughter all these years? Let me get this right..you just left after that incident, never came back and started life again in a new city?? HOW??? How is that even possible in one go? You never ... (read in full...)
If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her?
Q. If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her? I have a friend, well someone i know, and for the past 6 months or so he has been cheating on his girlfriend. He has approached me on a number of occ...
A. 30 January 2011: Stay out of it. If the girlfriend doesn't know what this guy is upto, (considering he's putting a lot of effort into it!), its not your concern. Let her find out on her own. Chances are she might not believe any you or your friend, if she trusts ... (read in full...)
Why did you even ask?
Q. What brought you to Dear Cupid? Most likely it's because of some problem in your life or relationship. That's how most of us stumbled upon this place. You came here hoping that these anon people on the internet could offer you some insight into ...
A. 29 January 2011: I like your article Dirtball...well said!
It gets on my nerves when people ask for advise and then say...you dont know me so dont judge me! Or when some teenager asks a question about sex, gets the obvious responses and then has the cheek to say..... (read in full...)
What can I tell him to persuade him to seek his family's safety first and acting on peace after?
Q. This is not a problem of mine but a friend. I work in a shop next to his and we talk alot. His wife and children would always visit him at his workplace and they were so happy. Sometime in June that all changed. He and his family went on a trip b...
A. 28 January 2011: This is a bad situation Cerberus....bad because its plain and simple unreasonable and illogical! This man's father is acting on his own whims and is trying to unnecessarily create problems, where there are none!
Its very important that your fri... (read in full...)
Should I go to this party where there's a chance I could cheat on my boyfriend in a moment of weakness?
Q. Im going away for the weekend because i've been invited to a birthday party ...but my boyfriend is going away too and i was moaning to him about how hes gonna cheat on me ..but the thing is the party im going to has this guy who fancies me and said ...
A. 26 January 2011: Not only should you stay away from this party, you should also seriously look into your relationship. You "adore" your boyfriend yet you admit you might do something with this other guy that you would regret later on. Adore and cheating dont go ... (read in full...)
How do we make our dog accept the new puppy?
Q. I have a 10 year old American Bulldog. We recently added a puppy to the family and our older dog is very depressed and angry. Any suggestions on how to make him accept the new addition?...
A. 26 January 2011: Its very natural for older dogs to not accept new additions to the family...we had the same problem at our place. We had a very pampered 4 yr old lab, and when my dad got a dalmatian puppy (who, by the way, is now the LIFE of the family!), the older ... (read in full...)
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