A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:When my ex betrayed me and dumped me callously for no reason, he somehow managed to turn everyone against me aswell. I don't know how he did it. I was shocked and devasted when we brokeup, it was completely out of the blue. I thought these people were my friends, but they also cut me off. Not only was I dumped and betrayed, I lost a whole group of friends. My ex played victim of coarse. It makes me wonder what he said to turn everyone against me. One of the friends was only trying to be nice to me. She said "i hope you'll still be friends with your ex". I had to bite my tongue, why would I want to be with my ex who dumped and insulted me by text? This friend has only had one bf ever! She married her high school bf! She's never even had a breakup. What a complete joke.After the breakup I also called another female friend, as she said that I could call her any time. I was severely depressed at the time and needed someone to talk too. She treated me like a complete stranger and was encredibly rude to me. I deleted her number and never called her again. Obviously my ex had poisoner her too. I did everything right in the breakup. I never begged, contacted, stalked or contacted my ex. Yet he dumped and insulted by text. Great way to breakup with someone hey? Abused me by text and somehow still everyone taked his side? What was the point in doing the right thing, when everyone still took the jerks side?
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a break, depressed, my ex, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (10 June 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou i don't think I'll even bother with them. they really showed their true colours to me. I can't trust them as they never told me that my ex was cheating on me. They don't understand as the ones I was closest too, married young and have never even had a breakup let alone been betrayed by someone. They never get it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 You mean if you tell them how you felt about them not being there for you after the break up ?
Uhm... not sure it's a good idea.
Sure, you'd get things off your chest, you'd feel better and maybe you'd be able to move on faster.
But, if you want to restart the friendship, it's never a good idea to start with lamentations and accusations . It puts people on the defensive, it rubs them the wrong way, it obliges them to justify themselves for something that belongs to the past .... some times it's not only nobler but just simpler to be the better person and offer a clean slate.
If instead you are still mad at them and don't want to be their friend anymore, what would be the point- just give them a wide berth and you'll be fine.
All in all, I 'd say : choose the solution that will help you best to firmly put this bad experience in the past and to distance yourself from it once for all.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (9 June 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat would actually happen if I told them how I felt?
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (16 May 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really hope he screws them all over. Since they're stupid enough to take his side.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (16 May 2011):
 If your friends are so foolish that they believe your ex without even knowing your side of the story, then you're better off not having such friends. As for the ex, good riddance to bad rubbish.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (16 May 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou I know I'm far better off without these people. I do miss them alot though. I can't understand why they weren't there when I was severely depressed and my ex was already dating someone new the day after he brokeup with me.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (16 May 2011):
From your examples it does not show they took his side.
The first girl said a politically correct platitude, as in theory everybody should take the moral high road and let the bygones be bygones, but, like you said, she never went through a similar experience, so she can't quite relate or imagine how bad it feels for you.
The second acted rude and distant, but not necessarily she must be on your ex's side ! maybe she is just a selfish person who does not want to be bothered with other people's troubles. Maybe she is the type who promises help then is too lazy or self -involved to follow though. Maybe she does care and was giving you a bit of tough love - perhaps she felt the least you talk about the break up, the sooner you'll get over it.
The possibilities are many- what I mean is, if she , or other persons, weren't nice to you, it's most probbaly because of how THEY are, not because they sided with the ex. Don't get paranoid and imagine conspiracy theories- most people is too busy with their own stuff to feel so strongly about somebody's else relationship .
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