A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi thereIm feeling really insecure.Iv been with my partner for 5 years. He is from Germany I am from America.I met him when he came to university in america. As far as i was concerned our relationship was perfect and I wanted to spend my life with him. After university he had to leave the US and so decided to do masters degree in england. I was supportive of this. It was difficult. He proposed to me before he left but asked me to keep it a secret, but i told my friends and family. He came to visit me at christmas and all was well, we had an engagement party!It was difficult and I found it hard being away from him.Then last year in May i had a message from a girl saying she had been seeing my fiance since he moved to England, She sent me photographs of them together and said that he had said I was his ex. I didnt want to believe her, but things started to add up. He went into a relationship with her on facebook, but told me that she had done it, it wasnt him-and he still loved me. he told me it was over between them and it was a big mistake. However, i kept getting confused messaged from her saying she was still seeing him and she wanted to be sure that it had ended between us. He told me she was just jealous so i believed him. At christmas he came to the us to visit me, but he admitted that he had missed me so much that he had been seeing this other girl. and it was an enormous mistake and he wanted to spend his life with me. At first i couldnt face it, but I cant be without him. I am now moving to Germany with him for a fresh start to see how things go. People say once a cheat always a cheat, but considering we were on opposite sides of the world is this different?do u think he would make ths same mistake again or wa sit due to circumstances?this girl says he told her he loved her :( do u think she was just trying to annoy me?i love him so so much i know he loves me too, but i think he just made a mistake x
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christmas, facebook, fiance, his ex, insecure, jealous, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 A cheater, a liar and a smart alec for trying to get you to see his point. Basically a creep. Why do you want to be with this guy again? So that you can keep doubting him and he can keep "missing you" and having a nice time with other girls and then lying?
There's a difference in how you both perceive things. You see it as a mistake on his part; he does it because he couldn't care less about you and he's a pathetic cheat. Its not a mistake for him, its an opportunity well seized.
Huge warning signals from the very beginning-he wanted you to keep this relationship a secret. Why??Ever thought about that? When you love someone and decide to spend your life with them, you literally want the whole world to know that you're in love and you want to validate your togetherness. This guy didnt want that. He wanted it hidden. Ever thought why?
Honey, the other girl wasnt trying to annoy you or get back at you in any way. She has nothing against you personally. She's been betrayed and cheated upon by the same guy as you and she's telling you just that. Stop telling yourself he made a mistake. He didnt. He will do it again and again because he's got no integrity whatsoever. Ask yourself, would you have done the same thing had you been in his place? Its good to be in love, but dont get blinded by it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): Yep......BS.....plain and simple. You were away from him too....would you cheat? How about in the future if either of you ends up separated again? Will you have to worry then? He fed you a line and you fell for it. He has permeated your boundaries and you let him know how fluid they are. He has set himself up to walk on you in every area in your life and you have set yourself up as the victim. Be thankful this gal tipped you off. She did you a big favor. Now RUN.....and don't look back or you just might turn into a pillar of salt!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): Do you know what BS is?
"admitted that he had missed me so much that he had been seeing this other girl"
This is BS.
I've been there, was separate from the gf for a year while she was in her home country and I finished my final year of school. I missed her every day, I missed her so much that I 'wrote her a letter every day'.
No, you don't see someone else because you miss the person that you would give your life to.
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