A
female
age
30-35,
*ove_hurtz
writes:I used to be friends with this guy in my class. We were really close, but then fell apart after I went through a difficult time with my parents and lashed out at him. Since then, though, he's been borrowing my bike, money, headphones and getting help with homework, because I'm trying to be a good friend. I've gone through feeling used, feeling like I'm overreacting -- the works. But now, my friends are all saying I need to get over my feelings for him and tell him to pay me back and give me my stuff back. But he won't respond to my messages so I would have to do it in person. I know he probably doesn't have the money to pay me back without asking someone else to lend him the money, and I'd like to be a good friend and just not ask for it, but I don't think he'd appreciate it if I did. I feel like I'm taken for granted and, even though I've told him so, I don't feel like he really understands. How should I deal with this situation so it doesn't end awkwardly? Because I'm not in desperate need of the bike, money or headphones, but at the same time, I don't want to let him keep them if he's not gonna respect me.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 From what you've written, it seems this guy is taking advantage of you. On the one hand he's borrowed your bike, money, headphones, etc, on the other hand, he wont respond to your messages. If I had to ever borrow anything from anyone, not only would I be extremely apologetic, I would return it to the owner ASAP, no matter how close a friend he/she is.
You have every right to ask for your stuff back without giving anyone any explanation about why you need it back. Because its YOUR stuff, YOUR bike, YOUR money. Its not your concern where he pays you back from, that's his headache. Meet up with him, tell him you want whatever he's borrowed. This guy is not going to appreciate anything you do OP, and you've tried to be a good enough friend anyway. Now quit being the nice guy and get your things back because this guy doesnt deserve your goodness.
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