| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 10 October 2011: Are you for real? You're kidding right? Thats what you got from all the answers? That you should do the same thing as her? ... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: She's humiliating and disrespecting you and doing it IN your face! Who is she to test you??! And this is not the behavior of a woman who likes a guy. This is the behavior of a cheap woman, who just wants to tease you, get some thrills out of it and ... (read in full...)
Husband is forcing me to forget the other man and love him again.
Q. Hi Cupids. I am in a very difficult situation and I need help. I had an emotional affair with a married man for a year. I told my husband about it and now my husband no longer trust me. I fully understand his feelings and he has a right to t...
A. 5 October 2011: I can understand that you are unhappy in your marriage and its very difficult for you to get over this other man. But the question is, do you even *want* to work on your marriage? Do you even realize what you're asking of your husband? You are ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend uses emotional blackmail and I'm not sure how to deal with it anymore
Q. We’ve been dating for about 15 months. I am 27. My gf is 26. We attended my friends’ wedding. I know both the groom and bride. My gf came along as my guest, but she didn’t know neither of them. The wedding was ending since other guests were ...
A. 4 October 2011: She is plain immature, used to getting her own way and is not ready for an equal relationship. Wanting to break up at the drop of a hat, wanting her key back and then giving it back to you, initiating mindless arguments just to get a reaction out of ... (read in full...)
Guys -- looks or personality?
Q. Hello all I have a question for the guys out there. Would you rather have a super hot woman with a pretty face and nice bod but dumb and needy. OR Would you rather have a sweetheart with a kind and generous heart but average looks and weight. ...
A. 4 October 2011: I'm not a guy but I can tell you this: In the end it all boils down to chemistry, and the eternal truth...Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder! If you fall in love with someone, you either don't even notice their imperfections, or you love them ... (read in full...)
What do you do when a man confronts you for "talking" to his girl?
Q. Let's say you meet a girl by herself who's nice and attractive. You approach her and strike up a conversation with her. Everything seems to be moving along fine.... Five minutes later, her boyfriend shows up all annoyed and angry, says something l...
A. 3 October 2011: If its as serious as you say, just simply apologize and back off. ... (read in full...)
All the things my ex is saying is making my skin crawl!
Q. Dear Cupid Had a fight with my bf of 2 years, since he blocked me from his facebook, saying like I am disturbing him often in chat. Got angry and we had a fight and after that he never called me, I tried to reach him after 3 days, he now says he m...
A. 3 October 2011: You did things for him because you wanted to do them,not because he pointed a gun to your head and made you do stuff for him. You've just made yourself too available in your efforts to please him.
Look, sometimes relationships workout and some... (read in full...)
Why would she delete that other guy's comment from her Facebook wall? What could she be up to?
Q. A girl I met recently added me to Facebook and we had a 2-3 hr conversation on fb. I've met her a couple of times and both times she was very nice and laughed at all my jokes and all that usual stuff. On the second time I met her I even touched her ...
A. 3 October 2011: She likes you and she doesnt want to jeopardize her chances with you. The chat with the other guy meant nothing to her; it was maybe just a by-the-way thing. Yet she probably felt that if you looked at her wall and saw the chat, you might not like ... (read in full...)
What are the tell tale signs that two people are romantically involved?
Q. What are the tell tale signs that two people are romantically involved particularly are having sex. I think two of my close friends [male and female] are doing the nasty.... yet both of them are married to other people. I dont know if its all in my ...
A. 29 September 2011: How is it your concern in any case? You're over-thinking stuff which doesn't even have to do with you. They might have some other problem, which is why they're avoiding each other. Tr not to be so cynical and dont get into things that have nothing ... (read in full...)
I am so jealous! I have the right to be, he's MY boyfriend!
Q. This girl writes on my boyfriend's wall everyday, with like ten posts of stuff to make him laugh because apparently he's depressed. I wouldn't know that because he never tells me anything anymore and is always talking to her. Some days he just ...
A. 28 September 2011: This sounds like a very frustrating situation to be in. From your post and the subsequent follow-ups, it seems he is pretty close to this girl and she's having a good time too. It must be a high for her, to see an apparently committed guy hanging ... (read in full...)
I left in the middle of the night after sex, now he never wants to hear from me!
Q. Hey everyone, about a month ago I started seeing this guy and he was an absolute sweetheart to me and things were going well... Anyway, last night we went on a date and we planned that I would stay at his house for the night. We had sex multiple...
A. 26 September 2011: You should just give yourself time now and think about why you did what you did. You got up abruptly after sex and left. There must be some reason in your mind as to why you did that. Guilt? Unsure of your actions? Unsure of your feelings for him? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend took another girl to a hotel but swears he didn't cheat. What shall I do?
Q. sorry about this being so long ... i met my boyfriend at the age of 16 and weve been together ever since, weve had a lot of ups and downs and now i need advice. After been together 6 months, it was just a pritty average relationship then...
A. 25 September 2011: Dump this guy ASAP, otherwise you will be (sadly) living a life of lies and deceit. Come on OP, no one's a kid here. We all know that when you need to "catch up" with someone, you go to a coffee shop or call them over to your place or something. If ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had a drunken fling and now the guy won't leave us alone
Q. Long story short my gf has broken up with me and had drunken sex with a guy she barely knew She says sex with him was amazing and he was way "bigger" than me I hate that fact but she says I shouldn't worry that he meant nothing and it only happened...
A. 25 September 2011: Enlighten me please, how on earth can it get "bigger"? Is she crazy and are you out of your mind to even bother being with such a girl?!
She has dug a pit for herself, let her deal with it. Why and how are you concerned with whatever is going on... (read in full...)
I participated in the character assasination of a teacher and want to make things right
Q. This is going to be a little long, but do stay put and offer a way to get through this mess I'm in: This is about a 40 year old guy we used to have in our last semester. He was, first of all, a GREAT, and I do mean GREAT---academic...
A. 24 September 2011: First things first. The aunts here are not present to pander to your ego, and whatever they tell you is just because they are taking time out to help you. There is no need for you to react like this and hit out against those who have tried to offer ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this irritating man child whom I had been dating?
Q. I'm really mad. I was seeing this 40 year old man child for 5 months. He tells me he really likes me, sees us together but needed time to get himself together after a break up. He wasn't married or engaged to this woman. This guy would only call ...
A. 23 September 2011: Lol...hmmm, lets see now. It could mean more than one thing, but all roads lead to the same conclusion. He's an ass.
It could mean that he's saying, oh so after giving me all that attitude you want to talk now after 3 weeks? ya,RIGHT! lol!
... (read in full...)
I participated in the character assasination of a teacher and want to make things right
Q. This is going to be a little long, but do stay put and offer a way to get through this mess I'm in: This is about a 40 year old guy we used to have in our last semester. He was, first of all, a GREAT, and I do mean GREAT---academic...
A. 22 September 2011: Iv seen a previous question from you on a very similar topic.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/professor-is-offensive-with-a-severe-attitude-problembut.html
Its obvious that you are talking about the same teacher because of various similari... (read in full...)
My husband had a 2 hr long, intimate conversation with a girl and I cannot believe this is happening to me. What do I do now?
Q. First of all, I would like to thank everybody that takes the time to answer my question. I would just like to know what people consider cheating in a marriage, or if anyone has been in the same situation. I am 24yrs old, married for t...
A. 21 September 2011: I have to say, for once I think a mom might be wrong. This is not a stupid mistake. This is cheating, and cheating does not necessarily have to be physical. He was emotionally intimate with this girl, he said things that are unacceptable for a ... (read in full...)
My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!
Q. Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...
A. 21 September 2011: Your fiance's parents arent obligated to you in any way. Just because they take you on fancy vacations doesn't mean they have to chip in for YOUR dream wedding!Its nice of them as it is to do whatever they are doing. What if you were in their place? ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married boss to keep my job and now I feel sick!
Q. I think i have just had sex with my boss to save my job. Ive always known hes fancied from since i started. but at the start of the year he told us that out of 3 of us 1 of us would get sacked. its just an office job but its a job so i decided ...
A. 20 September 2011: No job in the world is worth your dignity, your soul, your body and your self respect. Take this as a lesson. Playing dirty never helped anyone.
... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 15 September 2011: This post is bizarre! This relationship of yours is strange in more ways than one. I mean, people here are rightly telling you that your GF needs help, but I think that you need help just as much as her. She is a sadist and her behavior is clearly ... (read in full...)
My married lover puts me in awkward situations where I have to meet his wife. Why would he do this?
Q. Hi, I am having an affair with a married man and have been for over 6 yrs, we are both in our late 50's,we both care for each other very much and get on really well and enjoy seeing each other. we can't break it off so please no moral judgments. i...
A. 10 September 2011: Does his wife have no hint of the affair whatsoever? Its been 6 years after all. Maybe she has started getting suspicious, so he wants to "clarify" himself by getting her to befriend you so he can say, "Look, if I was cheating on you with her, would ... (read in full...)
Should I have done things differently? Did I deal with this girl the wrong way?
Q. Ok, so I met my now ex-girlfriend this past December, and to tell you the truth, she was not that bad at first. However, in January she developed a stomach ulcer due to stress in college academics, which I don't get because they were easy ...
A. 10 September 2011: Here's the thing. You did too much too soon. Your actions would make any girl believe that she was the "one" and you are head over heels in love with her. Take it as a lesson, dont rush into anything. However much you like a girl, if you surrender ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me and I have a chance, or is it just wishful thinking?
Q. I'm going to put this as simply as I can, and even if no one replies, I think I'm going to feel relieved that it is out there - I love this guy! He goes to my school and the dilemma is we are both at totally different social statuses, he is über ...
A. 10 September 2011: So you would "love his lifestyle"? "Incredible parties, drink most weekends, smoke weed"? And you think its "cool" for kids to not bring their moms' along to school meetings? Sorry but if these are your priorities for being "cool" then no comments. ... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on her since 1981. Now that I've told her she has stopped contacting me
Q. Hi, I have a friend on Facebook. I have known since 1981. I have had a crush on all this time. The 20 years that I didn't talk to her, she was still on my mind. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, or ever will. So I wrote to her ...
A. 8 September 2011: Like the others have said, you haven't given us much to work on, but I'll tell you what. A few years back, I had some guy on Facebook message me that he knew me since the third grade, and although we were in different schools he still liked me, and ... (read in full...)
Women: Is a gentle heart, or rather a fundamental aversion to violence and conflict, just a completely unattractive trait for a man?
Q. I am at heart a very mild person. I do not like conflict. Violence, of any kind, is simply unnatural to me, and goes completely against my nature. I grew up in a suburb where violence was never part of our daily lives. Sure, some kids chose to ...
A. 7 September 2011: There is a difference between addressing a conflict calmly, as opposed to shying away from it. I'm not condoning muscle power in any way, I'm just saying there are situations when there could be a different way of dealing with things. For instance, ... (read in full...)
Why is my mom so upset about the way my husband and I treat each other?
Q. Hello, I am a 31 year old married woman. You have given me great advice in the past. Here is my problem: This is a little long with background. My father and my husband get along great. My dad usually calls him, son, when he talks to him; ...
A. 7 September 2011: Every person is different. Your dad is ok with your husband's behaviour because he doesnt see it as anything wrong. He sees you are happy and that is enough for him. Maybe he is non judgmental and doesnt judge you and your husband for what you do ... (read in full...)
What the hell went so horribly wrong with us? Was I just a second fiddle to the drama between my BF and his ex?
Q. Hi Everybody, Im Dennise, im new here, my first post, it took me about two hours to write this because i keep stopping to get a hold of myself, so if something doesnt make sense, work with me here. Ok so here is the deal: I met Eric a year and...
A. 6 September 2011: Two things come to mind here.
1.) You were a rebound
or
2.) He was using you to get the ex back by trying to make her jealous.
Whatever it is, its good its over and you're done with this guy. He sounds horrible and his GF is actually ... (read in full...)
We had sex while I have my period, is he disgusted with me now? And can I get pregnant when I was on my period?
Q. I had unprotected sex with my guy during the first day of my period .he's very afraid of blood and got turned of in the middle of it and then started acting weird. i didn't want to do it either but we are on a long dist. relationship and i feel he's ...
A. 4 September 2011: OP you need to get a hold on yourself!! I mean come on...so you had sex on your periods...BIG DEAL!! Its not "horrific " in any way and stop treating it like something bad. Its not like you committed a crime or something. Periods happen to every ... (read in full...)
I love this girl but I cant connect with her intellectually and its getting very complicated and difficult for me now
Q. I need help and advice. This is my first time posting on any advice site. I figured it would be best to get my thoughts down and see what other people have to say. Here it goes..... I have gotten back together with my ex girlfriend of 2 ...
A. 28 August 2011: It is VERY difficult to be with someone who does not stimulate you intellectually. Sure there will be sexual chemistry, passion, heat and the love that you feel because she is a good mother and a good person, but what do you have beyond that? Are ... (read in full...)
The married man who I am seeing, accuses me of cheating on him!!
Q. I am absolutly livid and hope somebody can either 1) Persuade me I'm wrong or, 2) Prove me right! I have been seeing a man who is married for a while now and I have stayed faithfull since day one. He also tells me he doesn't sleep with his w...
A. 27 August 2011: Wow! Talk about being insolent! This man has some nerve. He's cheating on his wife with you, he has no respect for you and he thinks of you in the same way as he sees himself. An untrustworthy cheat. He knows what he's doing is wrong and that's why ... (read in full...)
How do I get her back forever?
Q. Hello everyone I'm a 23 year old guy and my girlfriend's also 23.Well,to start off with, I got to say I'm probably going through the toughest phase of my life till now. My two year long relationship is in turmoil and I'm really feeling low and ...
A. 23 August 2011: Boy you're polite! Never seen a "Thanking you, Yours sincerely" here! But coming back to the subject, I think you have done enough and just let her be now. If she thinks this relationship is worth reviving,she will do it without any perseverance ... (read in full...)
I want to try to be a vegetarian. Any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian. There are many reasons behind this, but I need some advice. I'm an animal-lover and a bit of an environmentalist. I don't like our general lifestyle either. I know that people have always relied on meat a...
A. 22 August 2011: I've been a vegetarian for many years now because I love animals, and it just seemed so hypocritical to love them so much and then have no problems in eating them! Actually what you say about the trial period is right. Try it for a bit and see how ... (read in full...)
14 year old student hitting on me. How do I solve this?
Q. This 14 year old girl has a obsessive crush on me. It all started when I was looking for a part time job. I’m a college student and I’m living in an apartment with my roommates. As I was good in maths I decided to teach maths at high school to t...
A. 21 August 2011: You know what they say..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"!!
This girl is hopping mad at you you for having rejected her advances. She has a major crush on you and was hoping to turn it into something more.I doubt if she even had any real... (read in full...)
Should I try to work things out with husband or call it quits?
Q. Where do I draw the line? My husband and I have been married for three years and together for almost six. About a month ago, I found out that he had a conversation with our best friends (a married couple) about swinging. The conversation was...
A. 18 August 2011: First of all, cut your "best friend" out of your life. She is toxic and a very negative influence on you and your marriage. Who is she to call you unstable?
As far as your husband is concerned, continue with the therapy and see where it goes fro... (read in full...)
We cant go anywhere because he used to go to these places with his ex!
Q. My bf and I live in a small town, so there is only one cinema, one shopping cnetre etc. Now his ex also lives in the same small town (whereas I am from another city). Because him and his ex used to go to the cinema, shopping centre, coffee s...
A. 12 August 2011: They have been broken up for TEN years and he still behaves like this?! And you've actually put up with this childishness for four years?? Why?
Your BF is clearly lousy at handling situations. Let me venture a wild guess. He's always lived in... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had sex with a girl when we broke up for only 2 days!
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend went and had sex with a girl once when we broke up for only 2 days. Technically he didn't cheat but it feels like it. He never told me, I had to find out from another person months later. He told me he regretted it ...
A. 12 August 2011: The trust in your relationship is basically all gone, so there's no point dragging it out. You might love him and he might love you, but where does it all stand if you dont trust him and never will? No matter what he says or does, you will keep ... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 11 August 2011: You're 16 years old and you've already had sex with two men? You're supposed to be going out with friends and dating guys, not having sex and thinking about whom you love. You're right when you say you should have sex with someone you truly love, ... (read in full...)
Our entire family is upset over my parent's break up and my mother's pregnancy
Q. I really dont know what to do. I'll cut to the chase, the shortened story of my life; I am 20 years old and my mum n dad broke up when i was 18. my mum had an affair and she is still currently with him now. They are now expecting theyr first ch...
A. 11 August 2011: You really need to be more considerate towards your dad. Someone needs to spare a thought for him please. What has he done to deserve all this? He is trying to do his best to keep the family together and you and your sister are going hammer and ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I want these feelings for his friend to go away
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for about a year and a half, and I lost my virginity to him, and I love him. I truly do. But he has a friend... and I find myself really excited to see him, and I'm really friendly towards ...
A. 5 August 2011: You need to give yourself a break from all these guys. You're boyfriend, his friend, everyone. You're just going around in circles. It seems you're not even sure of what you want.
Dont escape from one ditch and land into the other. If you leav... (read in full...)
Do I give up a life that has already been planned out for a man who gives me butterflies and makes my head spin?
Q. Been with a guy for over 5 years. Recently moved in together. Smooth sailing, no big issues, no big fights. Planning on having a baby in the next few years. He's a man you can trust. I know he's there for me and he's been showing me nothing but ...
A. 3 August 2011: The current guy is a good guy. He takes care of you, you have your future planned out. Seems to me that you are bored with whatever you have. You want some excitement, you love the all-too-heady butterflies feelings. Well guess what? Roses lose ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusting and like no one will ever respect me because I've not only had sex, but with more than one person!
Q. I have slept with two guys in my life. Most of my friends haven't even been with one. It's not like I barely knew either guy, I knew both very well and genuinely cared for them. The problem is, being only sixteen, I feel cheap. I wish I could go...
A. 2 August 2011: First of all, its nobody's business to talk about who you've had sex with and how many times you've done it. How do the guys whom you're friends with, know about this anyway? Its your personal life and your choices and dont allow anyone to comment ... (read in full...)
How do I tell guys that like me that I don't like them back?
Q. I dont know how to tell the guys that like me, that i dont like them back. (yes, guy(s) - there is 2) The first one is like my best friend, i've known him for 7 years and we've always been best friends but recently he started developing feeli...
A. 31 July 2011: Well there's no easy way of doing this but its always good to clarify yourself from the very beginning. Just be upfront and dont beat around the bush and dont give any open ended answers.
Tell the first guy that you see him as a friend, a wonder... (read in full...)
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