| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My BF doesn't want to go for my niece's christening and doesn't want me to go either. If I do, he would break up with me. What should I do?
Q. What would you do if you were me? Hello. Some advice please. I come from a very close family and we are not religious at all. My sister however has decided to get my niece christened. When my boyfriend found out about this he was totally against ...
A. 26 June 2011: The first step that you have taken is a big one. At least you have admitted to the problem. From your first post of "slightly controlling", you have come a long way. OP, this boyfriend of yours is an abusive man. Emotional abuse is much more dan... (read in full...)
I just found out the guy my wife lost her viginity to had a bigger penis
Q. hi just found out the guy my wife lost her virginty to was my 2nd cousin after 22 years of married life when she blurted out his name by mistake i asked her his name and found out he had a bigger penis and said she was sorry had i known this i would ...
A. 25 June 2011: Nothing really adds up here. What's really bothering you? The fact that she lost her virginity to someone else before you? Or that fact that that someone else is your cousin? Or that he has a bigger penis? Look, its very weird that all this just come... (read in full...)
My BF doesn't want to go for my niece's christening and doesn't want me to go either. If I do, he would break up with me. What should I do?
Q. What would you do if you were me? Hello. Some advice please. I come from a very close family and we are not religious at all. My sister however has decided to get my niece christened. When my boyfriend found out about this he was totally against ...
A. 25 June 2011: So let me get this right. Your BF has made it clear to you that its my way or the highway. And you're still thinking about what to do?
This guy is DICTATING your choices to such an extent, that it now its coming between your personal choices.... (read in full...)
What do men think if a woman asks them out?
Q. Question for the guys; what do you think of girls asking guys out first? It's just that there's this guy in the year above me at 6th form (he's 18, going to university soon, I'm 17). He's most definitely the cocky confident type but I think he's sli...
A. 24 June 2011: Its not the asking him out which is a problem here...as far as I know guys dont really have a problem with that. I mean, who doesnt like the attention, right?! If anything, its flattering.
What *could* be a problem here is, as many have pointed ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to have a threesome with another guy! Help!
Q. i am an asian girl,my bf is western,he's always feel proud of that i am his girl,he said i can make every man horny as he said i am a very sweet girl which i never notice.i really don't care they are horny or not,but recently he seduced me to have a ...
A. 24 June 2011: In answer to your question, no, it does not seem like he loves you. If you love someone, you cannot even dream of sharing that person with someone else.
Sex is supposed to be a special bond between two people in love. It should follow love, an... (read in full...)
My ex used to insult me and ridicule my body to such an extent, that its affecting me even now, in my present relationship.
Q. In 2007 I met my ex, who I was with for 2 years. During the beginning/insanely happy stage of the relationship he was lovely, but then he started to really insult me; no violence at all, but he used to call me fat every day. I wasn't, I was a UK 14 ...
A. 23 June 2011: OP, you must remember that your ex is now your past, and whatever happened with him, left with him. If he said all those bad things to you, let them go. Why hold on to it?
Please dont get hurt by those poisonous words. A wise man once said, "S... (read in full...)
I'm not usually one to break up families, but I can't help the way I feel about him.
Q. I've got a bit of a dilemma and would really like some advice. I've fallen in love with a man who is already in a relationship with another woman. He said he loves me too, but the only problem is, is that he lives in Wales, and I live in England....
A. 23 June 2011: I'll be honest with you. You're asking this question a little too late. You've jumped off the cliff and now you want to land without a single bump.
What on earth were you thinking? You say you're not one to break families, but what have you been... (read in full...)
Is this fading love? Stress of school and work? Or could there be another cause for the problems between us?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just shy of 2 years, we were highschool sweethearts and have been going steady. The past year we went to college and we started bickering over small things...our assumption is that it is because our frustrat...
A. 22 June 2011: Welcome to the real world! What you're going through right now, has probably happened to most people at some point of time in their lives.
Keep in mind, every day is not the same. As the honeymoon period of a relationship slowly wanes, one begi... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating drives me crazy by calling everyone "honey", "darling" and "baby"!!
Q. this may sound stupid but i cant help it that it is driving me crazy. this girl i am dating for 5 months is really getting to me because she calls people she knows casually things like "baby", "honey", "sweetheart", "love" and "darling"!! i'm ...
A. 22 June 2011: I can relate to you here, I would hate it if my partner did that! But you know what, for some people, that's just the way they talk. I have a cousin who goes around hugging all her friends...guys, girls...she is just very open with her display of ... (read in full...)
I don't know how I could possibly know for sure if this Indian guy that I'm dating is married/has a girlfriend because I'm sure that his friends will always hide it from me if it's true.
Q. I work for an airline and 3 months ago I met a 32 year old Indian man (colleague of mine but we hardly ever see each other as we work shift work and assigned different flights). We liked each other and started dating. He became my boyfriend, told me ...
A. 21 June 2011: Well,I think you should just call it quits. Its complicated...he can say anything and try to convince you, but OP, remember, in the end, follow your heart. What does your instinct tell you? I could give forth a dozen arguments to refute an answer ... (read in full...)
The fiance and pornographic material
Q. I have a question and maybe someone could answer for me. I am engaged to a wonderful man. It took us awile to get where we're at right now. I moved in with my fiance back in January. He gave me his email password to show me that I could trust ...
A. 21 June 2011: Yeah I have to agree with the majority vote here...let it go. For one thing,your fiance sounds like a genuinely nice guy. Not too many guys would allow their girlfriends to have this much of a say in their personal lives.
He gave you his password... (read in full...)
I don't know how I could possibly know for sure if this Indian guy that I'm dating is married/has a girlfriend because I'm sure that his friends will always hide it from me if it's true.
Q. I work for an airline and 3 months ago I met a 32 year old Indian man (colleague of mine but we hardly ever see each other as we work shift work and assigned different flights). We liked each other and started dating. He became my boyfriend, told me ...
A. 21 June 2011: Yes he sounds shady. Keep in mind, there is never any smoke without fire. The person who told you about him in the first place, could have done so for two reasons. Either it was jealousy or the plain truth. Jealousy, I must admit, sounds a bit far ... (read in full...)
Am I lucky to be rid of him?
Q. I met this guy on a dating site, im 64 and he is 52, he was into everything, ex heroin addict, women and children galore, cannibis, and lsd, but i accepted him as basically he gave the impression he was a kind guy, we split up last january, then...
A. 20 June 2011: You are very lucky to have gotten rid of him. This Osho stuff is bs...I know about it because in India, anyone who have half a brain, doesn't give a damn about it. It just basically glorifies and legitimizes random sex.
That apart, this man soun... (read in full...)
Living in a foreign country and about to return home, my ex has asked if I can buy her some jewellery which she will pay for - shall I buy it? Should I tell my wife?
Q. Hi guys, I have been living in a foreign country for two years with my wife and plan to return to our home country soon. Yesterday, my ex surprised me with a call asking me to buy her some jewellery but made it very clear she would pay for it. I ...
A. 20 June 2011: Tell your wife the truth. How does your ex have your contact number anyway? Tell your wife whatever your ex asked you for,and tell her that you are not comfortable doing anything of the sort.
You dont owe anything to your ex, she should know bet... (read in full...)
I went to a strip club and my wife suspects. Should I come clean?
Q. I have been with my wife (dating and married) for 19 years now. We have had our ups and downs and during a down period (about 10 years into our relationship) I went to a strip club for the first time. I always had this bad idea about strip clubs an...
A. 19 June 2011: Come clean. Tell your wife the truth, because as your wife, she deserves to know it. If this had happened before you were married/in a committed relationship, then you didn't owe anything to her. But within the confines of your marriage, you do.
... (read in full...)
Are underwire bras bad for you?
Q. I'm 15 and a 34b and was wondering when it's ok to start wearing an underwire bra on a regular basis. I don't wear it that often like once every couple of months bit I have heard (especially from the ladies at m and s) that it's bad for developing ...
A. 19 June 2011: You should avoid wearing underwire bras on a daily basis. Why do you need one anyway? There have been studied that suggest that bras exert enough pressure to the breast and surrounding areas to inhibit the flow of lymph, which then causes toxins and ... (read in full...)
My husband had a threesome with his ex wife. How can I compare to that?
Q. My partner had a 3some with his wife and her friend many years ago. After the 3some his wife's friend went home to her husband. My now partner and his then wife went to bed and slept in the same bed that the "hot steaming sex" happened in. What...
A. 19 June 2011: You're looking at the situation in a completely different way. I have grave doubts regarding how much intimacy the threesome would have produced between them. Rather,it was the LACK of intimacy that must have led them to even consider a threesome, ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and in love with my bf, is it too soon to plan a future together?
Q. My bf *ethan* and I have been together for 7 months. We're both 13 and I have been thru so much pain torture and scariness that I learn not to trust many people. Him and I are completley in love....I have never felt like i do about him. i''ve never ...
A. 18 June 2011: Sorry to burst the bubble dear...but you ARE too young to think about all this. If your life has been as difficult as you say, then you should be working all the more, studying hard, and looking to secure a future for yourself. Marriage should ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to get tatoos but not of our names. Is he insecure of our future?
Q. My fiance wants to get matching couple tattoos but not each others names. It makes me feel like he is unsure about our future. Could that be the reason why?? I want to get his name on me and he get my name on him. I want this because i see a future ...
A. 18 June 2011: It doesnt mean that he's insecure. Its just that he might not like the idea of having a name tattooed on his body. Maybe he has something else in mind. Its very subjective and every person will interpret it in his own way. If he was unsure, he would ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to being her friend or should I embrace the opportunity of no strings sex?
Q. I have been close friends with a girl from University since I began there last September. She isn't sexy, but she's not unattractive either. She has always been a very quiet girl who seemed very normal and average in her personality. I have never ...
A. 17 June 2011: FWB's is never a good idea. Sure its tempting but unfortunately it never works, can end up really hurting one or both people involved, and affects other possible future relationships.
Keep in mind, its very difficult to go back to being "just fr... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my girlfriend get angry, is she normal?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the last two years. She is very nice and has sparkling sense humor. In those last two years, I haven't come across a single moment when she was angry at me for anything stupid I do once in a blo...
A. 17 June 2011: You don't need to do anything fake to 'test' her, just talk to her about it. Maybe she really is one of those very rare people who are genuinely like that and don't get angry that often.
It is a little odd though, that not once in two years ha... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex, and have met someone new. Should I have sex with him? Will I regret it?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 6 years have split up but we are currently still living together as I dont want to chuck him out as we have a son, he is moving out in the next month. I love him with all my heart but, It wasnt working as he has anger issues ...
A. 16 June 2011: I would say don't even think about it. It doesn't seem like you know this man very well. In any case you're getting out of a long relationship and still trying to heal, don't do anything that will make it more messy and painful for you. Give it time ... (read in full...)
I did not get pregnant after my partner ejaculated within me. Does this mean I won't be able to have kids?
Q. Helpppppppp!!!!!... I had unprotected sex with my partner and he ejaculated inside of me in June 5th, i got my period i believe on june 11th. may i not be able to have kids?...
A. 15 June 2011: It means that incredibly ignorant and lucky have somehow managed to go hand-in-hand with you. You clearly know nothing about sex and you are too young to be doing all this in any case. You were just plain lucky you didnt get pregnant, but if you ... (read in full...)
Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
Q. Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
A. 14 June 2011: Wonderful article Caring Guy. Very well written. Its very difficult to spot an abuser and very difficult to get rid of one. Iv seen abusers who emotionally blackmail their partners to get their work done. It can range from, "after all that I've done ... (read in full...)
Teacher added everyone but me on Facebook
Q. Hi, my name is Rach and I'm 14 years old... thing is, I have a really huge crush on this teacher and yes, signs are there that he likes me back. Every time I'm near him I catch him looking at me, and there was once my two friends confronted him and ...
A. 14 June 2011: Also, why is your teacher adding his students as friends on Facebook? Sure he has a personal life and a Facebook account, but that should be for his friends and his personal contacts, not for students. Being a teacher, he should be all the more ... (read in full...)
Does my fiance fancy my daughter???
Q. I don't know if I am crazy or not. Sometimes I just think I am paranoid due to my own past issues. Sometimes I think I should listen to my gut. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. We've lived together for 2 years. I sometimes feel that he has been ...
A. 14 June 2011: Absolutely, go ahead and ask your daughter. You should hear her side of the story too. If she could zip it herself and yet asked him without him offering it first, then why did she do it? Observe her carefully and make sure she is not trying to cove... (read in full...)
Teacher added everyone but me on Facebook
Q. Hi, my name is Rach and I'm 14 years old... thing is, I have a really huge crush on this teacher and yes, signs are there that he likes me back. Every time I'm near him I catch him looking at me, and there was once my two friends confronted him and ...
A. 14 June 2011: You dont have to hate or dislike your teacher and you dont have to love him either. He is your teacher and you are meant to learn from him, not have romantic fairy tale dreams about him. Where is it going to go anyway? So what if he adds or doesn't ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my cousin and now I'm really regretting it!
Q. Last night I had sex with my cousin. I don't know what I was thinking, it just happened. But I must admit I did come onto him first. When we were young we used to just "hump" and we didn't really care we were just kids being kids. But now that were ...
A. 14 June 2011: Wait a second...how is it possible that it "just happened"? How can you just have sex with someone, and of all people, your cousin??! Either you two have been fooling around for some time or you have absolutely no logic and control!
You have to ... (read in full...)
I was giving my husband a blow job and my son walked in on us!!
Q. So.. I was having a rather pleasant time pleasuring my man... yes BJ ... we have been together 20 years - married for 14 and have 2 young children.. 2 and 5 yrs. We had not closed our door as we tend not too because we can generally hear o...
A. 14 June 2011: Dont bring up the incident. If you behave normal, he will forget about it very soon. Thank your stars he's just 5 and not older!!
Hope he hasnt seen much. Next time, LOCK the door!... (read in full...)
Does my fiance fancy my daughter???
Q. I don't know if I am crazy or not. Sometimes I just think I am paranoid due to my own past issues. Sometimes I think I should listen to my gut. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. We've lived together for 2 years. I sometimes feel that he has been ...
A. 14 June 2011: You are completely right. If an innocent person were in his place and they knew they were being "accused", that person would have dumped YOU immediately. And you can also make out from the body language and the eye contact and the way he generally ... (read in full...)
Does my fiance fancy my daughter???
Q. I don't know if I am crazy or not. Sometimes I just think I am paranoid due to my own past issues. Sometimes I think I should listen to my gut. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. We've lived together for 2 years. I sometimes feel that he has been ...
A. 13 June 2011: Your instincts are right and you must trust them. We dont even know you personally, yet it seems very suspicious from what you tell us; I can imagine that being a mother and observing all this from close quarters must be much, much worse.
Your ... (read in full...)
Could a married man be my soulmate?
Q. I have a bit of a strange question to ask. Basically my best friend is married, we are extremely close and so relaxed around one another. Sometimes its like we are the same person, it gets scary at times. We competly understand one another, whilst ...
A. 13 June 2011: I personally dont believe in soulmates. Its just that you have a good connection with someone and you have a natural affinity towards them. However, if you believe in this concept, then no, I dont think its necessary to be in a relationship with ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go on holiday now because of all the bad things I read can happen
Q. So i am really VERY nervous and worried to go on holiday now! Because i read reviews that people break into your rooms, they caught swine flu and conjunctivitis, there's mold on the walls, the ceiling is fall apart. Sick stains on the mattress and ...
A. 12 June 2011: Calm down. Your concerns are natural, but stop looking too much into it. Iv been to many countries, to attend conferences, and all alone. Sure its scary, because you never know what to expect. But it all works out fine.
Where are you going to... (read in full...)
How do I say goodbye to someone I never really had?
Q. I am 18 years old and i met this guy at a wedding long story short we hooked up a few times after the wedding and he became my bf and we start having sex the first time we did it i didnt want to but he said if i didnt dont ever call him back i loved ...
A. 12 June 2011: Honey, all of us come across our share of jerks. This guy was yours. But instead of crying and mourning, you should CELEBRATE!! Good riddance to bad rubbish! This guy was a jerk who just wanted to get into your pants. Never, EVER trust any guy who ... (read in full...)
Partner says my butt is too small!
Q. My partner keeps saying my butt is too small and that I need to eat more to make it bigger. However, a few years ago before we got together and were just mates, he once let slip that his ex had the best butt in the world. Now I'm getting anno...
A. 12 June 2011: He's a jerk for constantly bringing it up. Tell him for the last time that you have had enough of his comments and you are not going to lose or gain weight just to satisfy his fantasy of a fat ass.
As you say, this is not a big enough matter t... (read in full...)
Why are you vegetarian/vegan?
Q. Hey, I'm not planning on becoming a vegetarian, but I do care about animals very much and when I'm older I'd like to cut down on my meat intake. I could never fully quit, I love meat too much. So, to all the vegetarian/vegans out there, why are you ...
A. 11 June 2011: Im a vegetarian because I love animals to death! I wasnt one before...but when I was old enough to realize that the animals feel the same emotions that we do, I quit for good. I thought it was extremely hypocritical of me to say that I love animals ... (read in full...)
He cancelled our trip and gave all the money to his ex for new clothes for his child! Do I mean nothing to him?
Q. My boyfriend planned a special weekend away together for us as my birthday present. Then his ex wife called and told him she wanted extra money (besides maintenance already paid and a few extras) to buy clothes for their child. Now this child does ...
A. 9 June 2011: This sounds bad but you need to think rationally about it. For starters, he was gifting you the trip. He didn't owe it to you.
Think of it in this way. You buy someone a present and you haven't given it yet, and you suddenly realize you need cash... (read in full...)
What is it really like to be a mistress?
Q. What is it really like to be a mistress? I have been propositioned by a married man I've known for 2 years. He is 24 years older than me and he really turns me on. Obviously I know this is wrong but it all just sounds amazing. Plus he's had a rocky ...
A. 7 June 2011: Of course he has a "rocky relationship with his wife". How else can he justify wanting to have an affair with you??!!
Being a mistress is extremely demeaning, disgusting and pathetic. You're letting yourself down for willing to settle for some... (read in full...)
My ex has moved on with a new guy, who's very different from her ideal guy. What do I do now?
Q. Hello, I'd just like to say thank you very much in advance for taking your time to read this and reply.. About a month ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me after 2.5 years. I met her when we were both 16, yet I was one year older than her school-...
A. 7 June 2011: What I dont understand here is, if someone is your ex, how does it matter to you if that person is with someone else? You broke up for a reason, and as you say, you accepted your loss. If you weren't so sure about breaking up, then you should have ... (read in full...)
So was it really my ugly self this whole time? :(
Q. [Moderator note: Users own title] I am crying so bad as i right this i feel horrible right now, so my boyfriend looked at porn and i found out about a year and a half ago and i came online for help because i have such a low self esteem and i felt l...
A. 4 June 2011: This guy is a nightmare!! Please do not have a low estimation of yourself because of him, of all people!! And not because he watches porn, but because he's a jerk enough to say that you're not good enough!! Who does he think HE is??
You dont hav... (read in full...)
Does grammar matter when people communicate today? Or is it a lost cause? What's your pet grammar issue?
Q. First off I will admit it: sometimes I mis-spell words. And another thing, sometimes when I'm in a hurry I abbreviate some words. And when I was at University I used to have the best set of abbreviations in Contract Law. If I needed to refer to ...
A. 3 June 2011: Hi Abella...great article,and finally a space where i can let some steam off!
So here goes...
1.) "I said you" instead of I told you.
2.) I've actually heard people re-phrase a question as..."Why you are going there"? when all they sh... (read in full...)
I cannot shake this guy off and I don't want to be mean. Help!
Q. A couple weeks ago I went out on a date with this guy. I'll call him Brett. We were introduced through a mutual friend. At first he seemed like a really nice guy and we talked through email and over the phone for a couple days before he asked me out ...
A. 3 June 2011: The other aunts have explained it very well.
Be VERY clear with this man and do not give him any open ended answers. You are NOT interested in meeting him, and this is non negotiable. You don't owe him any explanation or justification.
Stop AL... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *nonymous 123 has
added them and they have added *nonymous 123!
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