A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner was basically saying in not so many words that I should be jealous that women have better sex than men. I.e. better and longer orgasms.I felt quite annoyed about this, as I had never really thought about it until this conversation. Now I can't get it out of my mind. And I feel a bit cheated when I have sex, like she's getting all the pleasure an I'm just the dog, so to speak. I know it sounds silly but it's just how it is.So I did some reading about this and have found many conflicting opinions. I think it is subjective and difficult to compare, as no one has, or can experience both. I wondered what people on here thought about this?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 I was always under the impression that women tend to have better orgasms (longer or multiples) but that men can enjoy the actual act of sex more, since you can feel pleasure throughout your whole penis whereas women can't really feel much inside their vagina. To be honest, I always felt a little cheated on that part. My partner and I think it's that way anyways, women win on orgasming, men win on actual sex (but really it's not by much on either side if any). Plus it's generally harder for a woman to orgasm than a man. I don't think you should be feeling cheated.
When scientists wanted to test who had better sex, they found that the exact same parts of the brain lit up during orgasm and that the feeling of orgasm was exactly the same between genders. The only difference was the length of time was longer for women on average. Don't compare yourself, it's just different. I had a man describe all the feelings, from every tingle to every muscle convulsion, and it sounded pretty much exactly the same. Only difference was where the tingles were. Plus you have the "advantage" if you want to call it that on ability to orgasm and enjoyment of actual sex.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I have no idea how it feels for a man, so I can't say that MINE is better.
^shrug^ I don't think it matters really, since for me at least, it's not a competition.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): I personally do not orgasm by sexual intercourse alone. I need a lot of foreplay (most women do) beforehand. I believe this to be true with most women. Stimulating the clitoris at the same time can be tricky but is the only way for me where I can climax through sexual intercourse. To be honest, I don't get as much pleasure as my boyfriend, however I still very much enjoy being close in that way with him so for me I don't mind if I don't climax. For women it is just different and also every woman is different. I feel jealous myself of her if she really does have amazing orgasms and has more pleasure than you there! It sounds like you probably already know what I am telling you if you have done some reading. I personally wouldn't worry too much, it's great that you are giving her good orgasms - for me I have always been jealous of men but then I realised that everyone is different and it doesn't matter who has the best orgasms or whatever - it's not a competition. For me, just being intimate with someone you love is amazing. If I orgasm I orgasm, if I don't, it's not the end of the world - I have my fingers if need be..!!!
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I guess she's one of the lucky few women in this world who experiences real, intense orgasms. I'd say 60% of the time I don't climax with my boyfriend, and the 40% I do, it's weak; like an itch rising to a peak and then just ending in a few contractions and a slight feeling of relief. He is a great lover and gives me plenty of foreplay, but I can't even give myself an orgasm through masturbation (anymore), so there's little hope for him. To be honest, most of the time I'd just rather not bother with sex. It feels good but it's usually too hard to become aroused or it's frustrating if I do become aroused but don't climax. I believe my predicament is largely due to hormonal contraception; since I went on the pill a year before I met my current (and only) boyfriend, my sex drive has utterly died and I've become unable to orgasm even through masturbation. Years ago I was able to give myself the kind of orgasms where I felt like I was falling into another dimension, it was so good. I did some research and found that hormonal contraception raises your levels of SHGB, which decreases production of free testosterone and prevents its binding... which destroys a woman's sex drive. So far it is believed the effect is more or less permanent, even after you get off the pill. I know the vast majority of women out there have my problem of being unable to experience intense orgasms, or even get aroused, so you should be happy you have such an enthusiastic and happy lover. But if you're really jealous, get her on the pill...
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A
female
reader, luv princess  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 SEX is not just about give & take of pleasure , it is a ecstatic state of intimacy and love. No doubt Men also get pleasure while intercourse if not why they perform it.
you should talk to your partner and explain him it is not that only women are lucky.
More over you should ask him what excites him,so that you do it for him to mutually be happy.
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I don't believe that for a second. If women had better sex, it would be obvious as they would want it much more and would pleasure themselves more often than men.
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