A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for 4 months and everything seemed fine. Then (2 months into it) I found out he was watching porn. I have told him about the fact that I have a problem with it. He looked me in the eyes and promised not to look at it again. Few weeks later I caught him lying. He lied until I showed proof. Then apologized. I accepted and believed it. A few days ago I found porn of him and his ex. Put it back where I found it and decided to ask him about it another time. When I did he swore up and down that it was a family reunion tape that he didn't want to keep next to the movies. I asked him to play it to basically prove him wrong and he said ok. Acted super shady when trying to hook up the tape player tho. Only hooked up sound in the back and video on tv so it wouldn't "play". Lucky for him tape broke anyway. He threw it away. Well next day it wasnt in trash. He hid it in the closet. I asked him and he swore up and down that its family reunion tape. Why did he want to keep it? Is he not sure about me? Not over her? I ended up throwing it away. I get the not wanting to show me. But why get it out of trash and hide it?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Hmmm well to be honest it's probably hard to get rid of a "souvenir" like that. I can see why especially in a new relationship you would hold onto it just in case. I'm far more concerned about the lying. It would have been easy to just explain why he had it or try to work something out. But rather he chose to lie about what it was and lie about taking it out of the trash and hiding it. If even during the so-called honeymoon phase he's lying about fairly large things, this doesn't bode well for later on. I'd seriously consider breaking things off before they get more serious.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSee I dont know if he has watched it. It was pretty dusty when I found it so perhaps he forgot about it. Its the taking it out of trash is what bothers me. Why keep it. I really don't know what was going through his mind. Perhaps he wanted to see of we'd last before committing to getting rid of it? Thoughts?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSee I dont know if he has watched it. It was pretty dusty when I found it so perhaps he forgot about it. Its the taking it out of trash is what bothers me. Why keep it. I really don't know what was going through his mind. Perhaps he wanted to see of we'd last before committing to getting rid of it? Thoughts?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 November 2010):
Dump him immediately. This is red flag cheating behavior, hanging on to a sex video of his ex-girlfriend. If it was something covered in dust and stowed away and genuinely forgotten and untouched, that would be one thing. But a guy who actively watches a sex tape with his ex and lies continuously about it? Dump him. This guy has heartbreak written all over him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Watching porn is one thing but he should have hidden that video from you a little better!! =P
Seriously though.. Possibly he still has a sexual attraction to her, and the video does the trick for him when youre not around. You gave him the chance to be honest and he lied. That should be a sign. Lying early on in the relationship should mean abandon ship. But if you wish to keep him around, trash the video and give him a stern warning that you do not appreciate his lying and will not tolerate it. Then... Prove to him that you are way better than any old video of his past flames!! ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): If that happened to me I wouldn't stand for it. Fair enough some guys watch porn and they always will but when it is of him and his ex that is just a bit too much to handle.
Since you haven't been going out that long anyway how are things going to be a year or two down the line? These times should be the happiest part of a relationship as you are getting to know each other and should be enjoying yourselves. Instead he's already lying to you and was intent of keeping a tape of him and his ex.
I know its hard to break up with someone at any point but you deserve someone who is more suited to you, there are guys out there that don't watch porn and would rather have the company of there gf than images of another.
Best of luck in the future Xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This guy is a loser. Get rid seriously
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