A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its just a simple question, why would a person say "If I was not with my current boyfriend, I would have this other guy instead"? What does this show? Should I warn the boyfriend? This guy is my friend and I over heard this from a friend and worries me. If you have some ideal advice, it would be nice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 It doesn't mean anything. At worst it means she has a crush on someone else. The fact that she mentioned her boyfriend in that context means she probably knows it's totally wrong to cheat on him. I sounds like a passing, "sigh isn't he dreamy?" comment rather than an intention of doing something. Don't say anything. Ignorance is bliss here about this little crush, unless she actually started cheating on him, which I doubt she is. Plus if she intended to cheat, she wouldn't say something like that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): It means she thinks there other guys in this world that are also hot. That's allowed you know. It means nothing.
The key words in that phrase are "if I didn't have a boyfriend" well she does, end of story.
If she'd said something like "OMG I want him so bad" or other such thing without mentioning her boyfriend then that would be different.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
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A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Gosh, I wish I had some of that girls confidence, to just say, I'd have him, if I weren't with this one lol.
The fact she has that confidence and is with current boyfriend, tells me she wants her current boyfriend, for some window shopping is lifes secret pleasure, as long as we dont buy, its human nature.
I'd just ignore it, and definately not get involved by telling your friend, not unless she acts on it.
Well done you tho for looking out for your friend.
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female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (17 November 2010):
 You're reading too deep into something thats NOTHING! ijs.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Its great that you have concern for your friend, but I think it would be best to stay out of this. It could possibly cause more damage than good. Its not like you heard the person saying they were cheating, or even wanting to cheat, right? People say things all the time sort of daydreaming, fantasizing, but it doesn't mean they would act on it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I don't think it means anything , it's just one of those things you say just to open your mouth and ventilate your
tonsils. " If I weren't with X, I'd make a pass at George Clooney " kind of thing.
I would not say anything to her bf- now, and in general. The least people meddle in a couple's business the best.
Unless maybe if you have actual facts, pictures, first hand knowledge showing that cheating has happened or is being planned- but this is not your case.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): It could just be a passing remark that doesn't mean anything, the fact that they say "If I weren't with by bf" kind of indicates that they're not going to act on it.
It would be more worrying if they were actually indicating they had intentions to cheat.
If I were you I don't think I'd say anything. I wouldn't want to interfere with thier relationship over something that isn't too serious.
x
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