| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 March 2011: Here's some food for thought:
Since most people consider cybersex (even with someone you will never meet) cheating but porn is absolutely not cheating, is that an allusion to the idea that women in porn seem less than human? I've heard people t... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 18 October 2010: "I'm saying that, just as one spouse may have to go without sometimes, it's only fair for the other to put out for a quickie now and again."
I agree with this completely and get a lot of flack for saying it on other posts. If me or my partner (who... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 12 October 2010: Yeah I read the article when it came out. When women aren't making $0.80 to every dollar men make, which is actually more like $.40 to the dollar when you factor in how much more of childcare and healthcare women usually have to pay, when women hold ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 12 October 2010: Just because a female virgin is desired, doesn't make it any less sexist. It's not desired for any natural reason, it is simply because men, being in a more sexually privileged group, feel they are more entitled to feel angry and jealous than women ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 11 October 2010: First to address the rape statistic, sorry I haven't looked at the statistics since high school, but according to Rainn.org (the largest American group working to end rape) the number is actually 1 in 6 now. Sorry for misrepresenting. Other than an ... (read in full...)
How do I start a conversation with boyfriend about unplanned pregnancy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have started to have sex. Yes we use protection, but there is always a chance of pregnancy, and I believe it is the right thing if we talk about what we would do in that situation now then if it might happen. I want to know his ...
A. 10 October 2010: You can't know unless you talk to him about it. Also he has no right to judge a woman for what she chooses to do with her body. It is YOUR body, your choice. If he is someone who would leave you based on your decision to get an abortion, something ... (read in full...)
Devastated... Is my husband gay???
Q. Today was the worst day of my life. My husband thought he had cleared the history on our computer, but this time he wasn't thorough enough. When I clicked on what websites he was visiting, they included teenage girls, boys, she-males (this was the ...
A. 10 October 2010: I'm not sure what you mean by "his kind" of porn addiction. He fits the signs of what most addicts fit, meaning he's choosing porn over sex, and going to more and more extreme/weird porn (the shemales, looking at gay porn even though he's not gay) ... (read in full...)
My ex told me to never contact her again because I said I was falling for her
Q. Told my ex I regretted falling in love with her because it wasn't worth the heartbreak, she took it badly and told me never to contact her again. I know she still has feelings for me and I really upset her. How long should I wait before talking t...
A. 10 October 2010: No it's not possible. If she still has feelings for you then you're toying with her feelings by trying to keep her close. You're preventing her from moving on. You shouldn't try to contact her again, especially since you really hurt her feelings by ... (read in full...)
How do I start a conversation with boyfriend about unplanned pregnancy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have started to have sex. Yes we use protection, but there is always a chance of pregnancy, and I believe it is the right thing if we talk about what we would do in that situation now then if it might happen. I want to know his ...
A. 10 October 2010: You just need to start talking about it sometime, in a non-sexual way. If you feel comfortable enough to actually have sex, you need to be comfortable to talk about sex and/or its possible consequences. This is a very important conversation to have, ... (read in full...)
Devastated... Is my husband gay???
Q. Today was the worst day of my life. My husband thought he had cleared the history on our computer, but this time he wasn't thorough enough. When I clicked on what websites he was visiting, they included teenage girls, boys, she-males (this was the ...
A. 10 October 2010: This doesn't mean he's gay. It means he has an addiction to porn. He's not choosing porn over you because he's gay, it's because he's developed a serious compulsion with porn that interferes with his life. This is not a reflection on you in any way, ... (read in full...)
Is it painful for a man to have sex the first time?
Q. question dear cupid is it painful for a man to have sex for the first time i've still got my forskin just wondering if it will be. because i'm worried it will be. if you can answer my question thank you very much....
A. 10 October 2010: It shouldn't, unless something is wrong. If she's a virgin it will probably hurt for her though.... (read in full...)
After sex she has burning sensation,what is this from?
Q. my girlfriend is on the pill and everytime we have sex her vagina starts to burn when we are finished is my sperm doing this?...
A. 10 October 2010: It's most likely chafing. Since semen is actually a bit of an irritant, any chafing that was going unnoticed with a condom on, is now being amplified by the semen (like getting lemon in a cut you didn't know you had). Try adding in a lube and see if ... (read in full...)
Stretch marks everywhere! What works on them?
Q. Hi. I weigh around 105 lbs and im around 34C-D. But I have stretchmarks everywhere on my breasts, and I can feel them and see them and I dont like it, is there anything I can do? I have tried Bio-Oil and I stopped using it because I forget to put it ...
A. 10 October 2010: I think almost all women have some stretch marks, especially on areas like the sides of their breasts, tummies, and inner thighs. Unfortunately unless they're a purple/red color (rather than light) there's nothing you can do about them. I know you ... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful for me that boyfriend would rather masturbate
Q. ive been with my boyfriend 4 years now im so very happy with him but unfortunately he studies abroad and i don't see him for up to 6 months at a time then when i do its only for a month. But every-time i have sex with him it always hurts eve...
A. 10 October 2010: You really need to go see a doctor. There's a condition some women have that basically results in their vagina clenching up in a very painful way preventing them from having sex, sometimes even preventing them from using tampons it can be so ... (read in full...)
Is my husband abusive or is it just me?
Q. I need an outside opinion of my relationship...I don't know if my husband is abusive or if I an or both or what I'm supposed to do about it!! I feel like I'm losing my mind!! I've been married almost 2 years and we've been separated on and...
A. 10 October 2010: Having sex with you while you are asleep is without a doubt rape. You need to report him to the police and have him put away for that. He is clearly extremely abusive, but abusing you and then making you think that it's you who is crazy. This is a ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 10 October 2010: Yes I read that article in NY Mag. I wasn't particularly interested in the article but I did read through every single last comment. I couldn't help it. I got interested from seeing the anger around the issue on this website, and then the comments ... (read in full...)
Smooth? Or hairy?
Q. i was wondering if guys like down there smooth or hairy on woman ?...
A. 9 October 2010: Keeping it shaved is a huge hassle, plus most guys find the stubble irritating. Any guy you're with should like you no matter how you choose to style your pubic hair. Just keep it clean and trimmed.... (read in full...)
Did the pill suddenly make my period lighter?
Q. I started the microgynon 30 pill last night, i followed the instructions and started on the first day of my period, this morning i noticed i was bleeding as much, cos i usually bleed a lot at night, is it because of the pill? or is there something ...
A. 9 October 2010: Yes, when you take the pill at any point during your period, you will probably stop bleeding within 1-2 days.... (read in full...)
Getting a boner just by kissing?
Q. heyy.. i was wondering, is it normal for a boy to get a boner just by kissing the girl? thanks...
A. 9 October 2010: Yes! Guys get boners just from looking sometimes. Actually touching is definitely a reason to get one.... (read in full...)
I don't want to sleep with my teacher but I did flirt with him
Q. I know there are tons of questions involving students adn teacher sbut i have yet to find an answer. I don't want to sleep with my teacher. Originally i did but i ditched my 6th hour to go to his class because he had a planning period and i am ...
A. 9 October 2010: It will be easy not to act weird, since regardless of whether you want to sleep with him or not, he will not sleep with you. You cannot go talk to him unless you have an academic question. Do not talk with him about your personal life, your dating ... (read in full...)
Autism is preventing me from having relationships. Help?
Q. I was diagnosed with Aperger's syndrome when I was a young child. The basic description of that is that you are exceptional at some things and lacking at others. I, for one, have photographic memory. Many people say that they have it, but the...
A. 9 October 2010: As someone who fell in love with and lives with someone with mild aspergers, maybe I can help. When we started dating, he was convinced that due to his loner tendencies and "strangeness" he would have trouble with women or that people didn't find ... (read in full...)
How can I progress to having sex?
Q. My girlfriend takes most of the same college courses in my county local community college, we like each other and visit each other all they time. The farthest I've got is making out. How can I take it a step further and have sex with her? Please ...
A. 9 October 2010: You can talk to her about it. You can't talk her into sex or make her have sex. That's rape, and if not rape it's a surefire way to make her dump you and hate you. If you like her, you absolutely have to respect her boundaries. You're too young to ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend was going to cheat on me!
Q. I have a boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months, i love him and i do think he loves me were generally very happy, we brokme up for a month in summer and got back together in august, the problem is while we were getting back together he'd been talking to ...
A. 9 October 2010: How do you know he didn't cheat on you? And was he talking to her while you were broken up? If he was planning this while you were broken up, that doesn't mean anything. He wasn't cheating. Were there two girls or just one? I'm a little confused by ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl to want to have sex on her period?
Q. I have been with my partner for 3 years, we are happy and enjoy a fulfilling sex life. She loves having (unprotected) sex on her period and in fact we have done so regularly almost every month since we started going out. In fact this is when she is ...
A. 9 October 2010: Many women feel horniest on their period. There are many bonuses, including the fact that she will always be slightly aroused due to increased bloodflow, plus the fact that the blood can act as a lubricant, makes period sex a great thing. Be careful ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so unloved when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me?
Q. Why do I feel so unloved, unappreciated, and dirty when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me? Why do I feel as if she doesn't desire me anymore? Why do I feel so...... Down......?...
A. 9 October 2010: You need to talk to her about why. Maybe she's not feeling satisfied, maybe she's really stressed, it could be a million things. We can't know for sure what's wrong, only she can.... (read in full...)
How do I get my daughter to see what a jerk her boyfriend really is?
Q. I need advice. My daughter has bee dating her boyfriend for 4 months now. She thinks they're serious. He turned 21 a few weeks ago and chose to spend his birthday with another girl...."just a friend"...because she promised (after he and my daughter ...
A. 8 October 2010: Unfortunately you have to let her make her own mistakes and discover these things for herself. It's all part of growing up. Making mistakes, getting your heart broken, etc... Unless he starts doing things that could be dangerous or tries to steal ... (read in full...)
Why do so many marriages fail?
Q. Why do marriages fail? So many people get married, and feel that they are marrying their true love, while imagining that they will be together forever. They have relationships where the committment is "iffy" and there are lies and betrayals before m...
A. 8 October 2010: Marriage absolutely doesn't change a person. Maybe temporarily, but people are who they are. I think a lot of people don't take marriage very seriously anymore and just kind of jump in. What Dirtball said, people nowadays seem a lot more willing to ... (read in full...)
Why do women like sex toys much bigger than real life?
Q. My girlfriend wants a sex toy about 7 inches, maximum 11, and while I do find it arousing, I would rather she not use it every day. She says it's "what she likes", even thought I am actually below average myself as much as I hate to admit it. Am I ...
A. 8 October 2010: Why do men prefer boobs bigger than real life? It's just her personal taste I guess. Most women I've talked to prefer something average sized, since huge hurts. If it's making you feel bad you should talk to her about it. They also make products to ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 8 October 2010: Randomly from a cool blog (http://www.antipornmen.org/), apparently awhile ago some guy who worked as a porn reviewer for Hustler magazine opened up about his job, and had some pretty interesting things to say:
h... (read in full...)
We argue alot after sex! Is it because I'm not satisfied?
Q. I have a problem in my relationship which is really starting to get to me. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. He is loving, kind and generous. The problem we have is in the bedroom (or so I think). When we meet up, we ar...
A. 8 October 2010: Yeah that could definitely do it. Sex can be fun without an orgasm, but without an orgasm it can also be seriously frustrating. It seems like he's being a bit selfish, in just going, "OK I'm done. Night." That would also explain why you don't feel ... (read in full...)
Does it mean he really doesn't love me if he can't respect me enough to tell me the truth?
Q. Does it mean he really doesn't love me if he can't respect me enough to tell me the truth? I see lying as a lack of respect. And I have doubts that true love and disrespect can co-exist. People talk about lying to someone to "not hurt them," b...
A. 8 October 2010: It really depends on the context. A lot of people lie to their partner to spare their partner's feelings. That doesn't mean it's OK, just that it doesn't mean they don't love them. If you give a bit more context we can help more.... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend buys you drinks all night, then makes out with another girl infront of you.
Q. Why would an ex-bf buy you drinks all night then make out with some girl at the bar almost in front of you? My ex, who broke up with me 8 months ago recently asked me to go out for a drink with him to "catch up". I said "sure" but next week someti...
A. 8 October 2010: Because he wants to have control over your feelings. It sounded like he wanted to hurt you by getting your "hopes" up and then destroying them.... (read in full...)
Is my body normal?
Q. Hi, im 15 years old.I love my body, short,small breasts,wide hips, that stuff. Theres just one thing that bugs me, my clit.i dont know how to explain, but it sticks out like its big.you know what i mean? Its always been like that since i started ...
A. 8 October 2010: What's wrong with a big clitoris? Just makes it easier for the guy to find! I bet any guy would find it a turn on, and it probably makes masturbating easier. Women's genitalia come in so many shapes and sizes. You wouldn't necessarily know this ... (read in full...)
He cheated on his ex but says he wouldn't cheat on me because "he loves me"
Q. My boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend twice and he has openly told me. He went on holiday and had sex with a girl while sober. He then lied to his ex girlfriend about it and made up a story about someone kissing him and him not knowing how to ...
A. 8 October 2010: I wouldn't trust him. Once a cheater, always a cheater they say. He made the call that while sober he'd go have sex with some other girl. The big red flags are, 1) he was sober, so his choice wasn't some foggy drunken thing. 2) he lied and lied and ... (read in full...)
If you're questioning if he's the one, then he's probably not, right?
Q. When do you know he's the right one? Or do you? I guess if you're questioning it, he probably is NOT the one?...
A. 8 October 2010: This whole concept of "the one and only person you could ever love" is a little too Disney movie to be reality. You will question if it's totally right regardless of who it is. If you love someone and it feels right, then you've found something ... (read in full...)
I almost caught my b/f having a "crafty tug", how do I tell him I'm not freaked out about it?
Q. This question could be a bit long and I apologise for that. The situation is, today I came home from work early and when I let myself in the hall I noticed my partner jumped up and switched off the telly really quickly and sat back down again....
A. 8 October 2010: Don't mention it. No one likes to get "caught" masturbating and regardless of why, he will be embarrassed. If you do bring it up that you wouldn't mind him masturbating, then don't bring this up. Just mention it later, out of context.... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 8 October 2010: Personally I hate it, like you said, it's like sandpaper.... (read in full...)
She likes porn now... so what's the problem???
Q. 9m relationship - fantastic - my girl shes hotttt, crazy about me (brings a long stem rose to the airport), very very hot (did i say that lol - 50kg, great ass, cute waiste, etc) loves to dance, (when im with her), just a bubbly vivacious girl (and ...
A. 7 October 2010: OK so I'm not sure I understand your question, but here goes...
So it sounds like you enjoy porn sometimes, she enjoys porn sometimes, but she really wants to only have porn be something you both share. You're already way ahead on this, that you... (read in full...)
She likes porn now... so what's the problem???
Q. 9m relationship - fantastic - my girl shes hotttt, crazy about me (brings a long stem rose to the airport), very very hot (did i say that lol - 50kg, great ass, cute waiste, etc) loves to dance, (when im with her), just a bubbly vivacious girl (and ...
A. 7 October 2010: OK so I'm not sure I understand your question, but here goes...
So it sounds like you enjoy porn sometimes, she enjoys porn sometimes, but she really wants to only have porn be something you both share. You're already way ahead on this, that you... (read in full...)
Tired of feeling worthless... Is this porn addiction?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 3 years. i've known him for 8. we get along great, have alot of fun together, we live together at his mothers house. i've known for a long time that he looks at porn, and masturbates to it. i don't li...
A. 7 October 2010: If he doesn't see the problem that he is rejecting a live person for porn then he is clearly an addict and needs counseling. It's not normal, and if he won't even talk about it, he's very clearly got a serious problem. If he won't go to counseling, ... (read in full...)
Can I get HIV from kissing her?
Q. okay, so I very lightly french kissed a girl that didn't give anyone oral sex before, but she kissed someone before me that did give oral to someone, this has been over a year ago, my doctor told me not to worry about having any curable std, but ...
A. 7 October 2010: Even if she had HIV, you cannot get it from kissing. Unless you are both gushing blood into your mouths and drinking it, you can't get it from kissing. You can french kiss someone with HIV every day and won't get it. It cannot be transmitted through ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: Yes it is a lot faster and easier. I know, I've actually had a significant amount of experience with this too. What I'm saying is that it's just sad that it's so deeply embedded in people's sexuality that some people literally cannot tell the ... (read in full...)
I stole money from my date and now I'm scared!
Q. I need help! I meet this guy at a bar we exchanged numbers went on 2nd date. He has a bit of an ego but I kinda liked it. But he turned me off because he kept talking about all the money he had that he had everything he wanted. We went to a hotel ...
A. 7 October 2010: You clearly have not learned your lesson, you're just upset because you got caught. You have a serious problem and need to seek help. Stealing is absolutely not OK. I can't believe someone hasn't already pressed charges. Send him the money back ... (read in full...)
I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived, so I drove by his house but I think he saw me!
Q. I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived. So when I thought he was going to be gone, I drove by his house. I think he saw me, cause just as I was going by, he was backing out of his drive. He hasn't said anything, but I think he saw me. I ...
A. 7 October 2010: Just leave it. No reason to feel guilty, just let it alone if he doesn't bring it up. We've all done little crazy insecure things in relationships. I know that what you want right now is some kind of validation that it's OK, but talking about it ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so unloved when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me?
Q. Why do I feel so unloved, unappreciated, and dirty when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me? Why do I feel as if she doesn't desire me anymore? Why do I feel so...... Down......?...
A. 7 October 2010: Has the sex dropped off or is this just where her sex drive is at? Lots of things contribute to lowered libidos, the biggest being stress. If she's been stressed out lately, then you shouldn't take it personally, as it has nothing to do with you ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel dirty and ashamed?
Q. I've been hanging out with this guy that I've known for several years. We've always just been friends but lately its seemed like more for both of us. We started kissing, then one thing led to the next. I'm still a virgin so I told him I wasn't ...
A. 7 October 2010: What you did felt good to both of you and didn't hurt anyone. It was overall a net positive experience. I'd imagine if you feel guilt from fooling around it is probably something pretty deep seeded causing you to feel like this. I'd recommend a good ... (read in full...)
Should I feel insecure if I'm dating a woman who can beat me up?
Q. I'm not much of a fighter, and I have a question. Should I feel insecure if I happen to meet a gorgeous woman who could beat me in a fight? Is this a strange question, or is it a legitimate concern? Let's say she's a karate expert or somethi...
A. 7 October 2010: It's just as much abuse if she beats you up as if a man beats a woman up. So unless she's a horrible abusive tyrant, I don't think you need to worry about it. Should women worry when they date men who can beat them up too? Because that's frequently ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: "For many men porn is equated with masturbation in their mind." I honestly don't mean offense when I say this, but I hear this a lot and it's very sad to me. People have been masturbating since the beginning of our existence, and it's only recently... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 6 October 2010: I've been reading around on this site for a long time, and the amount of entitlement many of these men feel about their porn use is astounding. It's been so solidly drilled into most of them that they assume that any woman who has a problem with it ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 5 October 2010: Not that anyone is reading this anymore, but I just stumbled onto a really interesting study from 1999, and I'm just going to copy and paste the abstract here. If I was doing the study I'd personally have picked a larger sample size, but from what ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 4 October 2010: I agree about faking it, I never understood why it became so OK to fake it. It's so deceitful! I can't even imagine how much that would hurt, to be a guy and find out you don't rock her world as much as you thought you did. Plus all it does is ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 3 October 2010: "It common knowledge that for every one lie a man tells, the women tells ten."
Um, excuse me? That's an incredibly sexist assumption, just like that response in the marriage post saying white women are selfish and you won't date them anymore. I assu... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 1 October 2010: He could respect her wishes and stop. I know that some of the lying is about protecting her from hurt feelings, but a lot of the lying is also so he doesn't have to face up to the reality that he's hurting her and to avoid dealing with her getting ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 30 September 2010: "Why should the guys happiness over rule the womans? If she's already insecure and that makes it worse, why wouldn't he want to make her feel better?"
I've been asking myself this question for a long time. Obviously it's very hard to put your... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 25 September 2010: "In the US, the whopping 85% reduction in rape in the last 25 years tracks almost exactly with a corresponding increase in availability of porn"
I've seen the study you're referring to and it has some flaws. First off, the significant reduction in r... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 22 September 2010: "most men don't want to understand because then we wouldn't be able to justify ourselves being able to watch it,"
Right on the money. Because you can't justify a need for porn beyond a need to get off to other women. There is no other way to just... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 21 September 2010: Because it's lying and hiding. Why is it so difficult to understand why lying and hiding something that hurts her, is hurtful? You say it's to spare her feelings. Yes, I get that, we all get that. But it's exactly the same reason people lie about ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 15 September 2010: "Question- those antiporn, are you also completely against strip clubs etc?"
I'm not completely against porn or strip clubs. If porn existed in a vacuum where there were no similarities between what happened in porn and what happened in the real... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 14 September 2010: I remember you also asking about women and porn and I read something interesting in the Washington Times saying women are MORE susceptible to porn addiction than men, basically because a woman using porn is far less stigmatized than a man using porn ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 14 September 2010: "Disagree with your statistics Person12345" I cited them below. They are from studies and surveys, the most prominent being from the Kinsey Institute, another from the Witherspoon Institute, several from other books, all/most from academic scholarl... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 14 September 2010: "Porn will always be around."
Yes. No matter what it is, whether it's bad or good, once it's been introduced it can't ever really just go away. But look, people said the same thing about cigarettes (they even had all the same "who are you to judg... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 6 September 2010: “Problem with your statistics, that around this time, George W Bush targeted funds to promote abstinence and no sex in schools. The research I've seen said that this didn't encourage teens to have sex later, but it did mean those on abstinence ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 5 September 2010: As for teens, it isn't a good sign when you have 15 year olds quoted in the New York Times as saying things along the lines of why would anyone bother with dating when porn's so easy? As for boredom/anal, since 1995 (around when internet porn became ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 3 September 2010: Also when I talk about the objectification of women, I'm not talking about how women who do porn are treated. I'm talking about portrayal. If we want to get into the people who do porn, there is fairly little sex trafficking of men. There are far ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 3 September 2010: "Either men are being objectified and 'marketed' as much as women, or neither are at all. And frankly, if all you can see is said 'objectification' I think that says something about your insecurities." This is a joke, right? It's the old, well men... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 1 September 2010: And when I say all people, I just mean people in the US UK and parts of western Europe as that's really the only place reliable data are available.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 1 September 2010: "it's 85% of people who use porn.."
Well actually it's approximately 70% of men and 30% of women who use porn, which means around half of all people.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 1 September 2010: I said that you don't need any sort of "warning" traits like an addictive personality or family history or what have you to become addicted. Anyone can become addicted and no one is in any kind of a low-risk category. Some people may have a slight ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 August 2010: Well porn IS addictive and between 15-20% of users do get addicted. Sure not everyone gets addicted, but it is addictive. It's not like we gloss over how addictive cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol are because not everyone gets addicted.
"but sure... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 25 August 2010: Sorry for not responding. Today is my last day of packing.
Yes I agree with Gabrielle, in the past few years, maybe 5-10 since I was in high school, porn has changed. I remember being a teen looking at the stuff with friends a few times, and it seem... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 24 August 2010: Hey so I found a book you might be interested in. Well it's not a book, but it's a report by the Witherspoon Institute where they got 54 experts together to discuss the social implications pornography. I haven't finished reading it, but it's ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: Mia I was saying it IS controlling. Definitely is. I was just saying asking people to do anything from not cheating, to taking out the garbage is also controlling. A relationship is just about deciding what kind of control you'll agree to. I'd find ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: If men should give up porn to prove their love, should women also stop wearing make up and wear a head to foot black Burka (the black tent dress that some Muslim women wear) to stop other men from noticing them.
Actually my boyfriend hated th... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Yes I heard GGW has actually had a profoundly negative impact on many of the women who participated as well (shocking, I know *sarcasm*). Some have apparently been so humiliated by the experience that they drop out of school. Obviously some probably ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Aunt in hiding? Well, I guess don't much like that. I am, well me, I just didn't want to be forever associated with being super anti-porn on this site since that's not the stance I intend to take when giving advice. But if you insist...... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 19 August 2010: Because frequently, people who are against it view it as cheating. So to them, compromising on this is like saying OK you can have sex with other women once in awhile, so long as I don't know about it. From the other side, they are unwilling to ... (read in full...)
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