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Is porno all the same to women?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2010)
A male Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok so if a girl finds evidence of her guy using "porn", does it make any difference what kind? like would some swimsuit issues be as bad as an X-rated video? Does the type of content matter?

What exactly is porn to you? When people hear the word, they seem to think only of filthy videos. But aren't there other kinds? Then some girls say Playboy isnt truly porn. So which of these would you officially consider "porn" if you found them in your partner's things?:

- FHM, Maxim, GQ, and other mainstream American magazines

- European versions of FHM, Maxim, GQ (with nudity)

- softcore movies you can see on cable or rent at Blockbuster

- explicit anime cartoons, computer animation and graphic novels

- Hollywood movies like Eyes Wide Shut, The Lover, etc.

- Beautiful Agony videos (showing just a person's facial expressions as they pleasure themselves)

- sexy audio clips

- nude video with no sex at all

- non-nude video with sexual overtones (posing, dancing)

- sexy audio clips

- lingerie/swimwear catalogs

- nude photography of an artistic nature by respected photographers

- erotic stories

Sorry if this was a stupid question! People will assume it relates to my situation but no, I'm single and just curious what everyone considers to be "porn" now.

View related questions: porn

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (24 October 2010):

person12345 agony auntExcept for the fact that I've never heard of someone feeling devastated by their partner NOT looking at porn. It's not a common thing to feel hurt by a partner not getting off on other people, but I'm of the impression it's pretty common to be hurt by porn use. And through my interviews and research I've encountered a surprising number of men who say they would hate their girlfriend using porn, most of them still use porn themselves though. They validate this through the false assumption that porn is a man's thing and therefore normal to use for a man, but weird for a woman. Basically what they're doing is showing that it really does hurt when your partner uses porn, but they still don't want to stop because at least it's not them being hurt.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (24 October 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntFHM, MAXIUM, GQ are the female equivalent of Cosmo..Celebrity women are posed provocatively, scantily clad in bikinis, short skirts, school uniforms, etc no displaying of any genitalia or fully exposed mammaries. Playboy, Hugh Hefner did what he can to make it a classy literary form of porn..Playmates full frontal nude, exposed genitalia, posed provocatively on props. Sports Illustrated is a step up from MAXIUM with maybe more exposed boob. When I think of porn I think, showing your I.D. to get into the sex shop to view the porno's for sale, One Night in Paris, Girls Gone Wild, and any of Jenna Jameson's films. Or whatever crap you can find online, such as the ever so intriguing fisting of the anus, gang bangs, 80's girl on girl, etc..Anything where there's full frontal nudity, exposing of genitalia, and sexual acts being performed. In my opinion, do note it varies from woman to woman. I'm not offended by porn, I don't mind watching one with my husband just as a form of foreplay..Don't do it all the time, but maybe once in a blue moon.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010):

Point accepted. It might also be argued that if they were asked for their honest opinions, men might find women who like and enjoy porn 20-25% more attractive than women who have a problem with it.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (24 October 2010):

person12345 agony auntI can't remember who conducted the study and I don't have access to the journals currently since I'm not on a campus. But the way they did it was that they showed women pictures of men with a list of their "traits" and had them rate their attractiveness. Then they showed a different group of women the same pictures but added to the list of traits pornography and had them rate them like that. The women rated them on average, 20% less attractive when they knew the men liked pornography. I don't have the citation since it wasn't used in my article, but I remember it being either a large research institution dedicated to sex research (like the Kinsey Institute).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010):

#9? Surely you're not seriously disputing that men who don't watch porn are precisely 20% more attractive than the sick slimy perverts who do? This is obviously a fact. It said so in a survey.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 October 2010):

Honeypie agony aunt

What do I consider porn? Um.. everything out there on the web or on DVD/video/magazines with people having/faking sex. To me it's all fake. Fake boobs, fake pleasure, fake people....

I don't consider pictures of nude/semi nudes porn.

For me it's when sex is put into the "picture" so to speak.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (23 October 2010):

person12345 agony auntPornography: creative expressions lacking any artistic value designed exclusively for the purpose of arousal.

You're not going to win any arguments or points with a woman if you nitpick about exactly what would be considered porn. If she has a problem with porn, regardless of whether you're using porn to get off or her underwear catalogue, she's going to be hurt. Technically, even fully clothed women if they are posed and photographed to be sexy are pornography. Even audio or writings that are made to be arousing are pornography. Did you know according to one survey, women find men who don't use porn to be on average 20% more attractive than men who do? My advice is to just keep any type of porn out of the relationship unless you both agree on it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010):

to me PORNO is PORNO! if the video/magazine's ect intention is to display sexual activity even without actually seeing genitals or whatever, in my eyes that's porn too.

I think most women will agree with me on this one, unless you watch porn or are aware of the different types.You can classify what is and what isnt more easily, I guess.

Anything with extreme sexual nature that can arouse oneself is classed as pornography to me.I am aware of the different categories you've mentioned and I know if I found my boyfriend pleasing himself with any of the above, I know he'd been watching/reading porn, lol

Hope that helped!

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