Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Would the owner of this account please PM me so that it can be dealt with. The question will be closed but it will be some time before any further action can be taken. The alternative is to delete the account, if the security of the account is compromised.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 December 2011):
 I have been in touch with the OP and I want to state that the OWNER of the account is NOT the POSTER... apparently the OWNER'S SIXTEEN YR OLD NIECE (we pegged it yes!) "borrowed" her account without permission...
The owner of the account is very embarrassed and upset by this post.. and would like it deleted by the mods if possible.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Find a bf who has some respect for you and your feelings and doesn't just want you for what he can get.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
ah and locking the door would be too adult huh?
ADULTS do not threaten their partners.
ADULTS do not whip their dicks out
ADULTS do NOT worry about friends coming by during sex.... because they LOCK THE DOOR... if his friends have keys that's a different boundary issue to address...
Sounds to me like neither one of you is mature enough to be having sexual activity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe Reason i say "get caught" is because his friends have a bad habbit of coming over and not tellin him and it was around the time they usally try 2 come over when that happened
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): To be honest, it was perfectly alright for you to decline so don't worry- him having a hissy fit is very immature.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
Wait wait wait… he “whipped it out” and you “don’t’ want to get caught”
I agree you two sound about 16 yrs old.
What should you do? You won’t like my answer:
When he says “your going to back out of another promise” you say “no I won’t I’m not going to promise anything ever again… and I’m saying goodbye now” then you gather your stuff and you walk out the door. And BE GONE until he can man up and behave like a grown up.
1. You don’t WHIP your dick out. EVER. Except maybe to pee…
2. You don’t’ EVER throw something in someone’s face to GUILT them into a sex act. It’s forcing and it’s RAPE/molestation
3. YOU don’t treat someone you love with distain and distaste.
4. YOU are not her personal sex goddess and should not be treated like a sex slave
Leave this boy. Find a man.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 December 2011):
 You have the right to say no to any sexual act at any time for any reason. The only people who disagree are rapists. Getting a blow job is not a right, regardless of whether you promise or not.
The bottom line here is that your boyfriend does not care about your feelings or well being, he just cares about getting off. It's OK for him to feel a little disappointed and move on quickly, but to be angry at you or punish you mentally is NOT OK.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Thats disrespectful and selfish of him. You have the right to turn down any sexual act u feel like and he needs to understand that. He possibly sounds manipulative in that hes trying to make u feel guilty by asking about keeping promises. Red flags here.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Sounds like your boyfriend was more interested in getting his cookies tossed than having anything to do with you.
The fact that he is pressuring you into something you are hesitant on doing and making you feel guilty about it later on makes me wonder how much your boyfriend really cares about you.
This could be the eye opener you need. Is your man really into you, or is he just using you for his sexual pleasure? Does he treat you like a lady, or are you his plaything? Finally, is this how you want to be treated?
Best wishes
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): The experience you described sounds so unromantic it is unreal! It sounds like something teenagers would do.
First of all, don't promise him anything, it should happen naturally and it should happen when you are comfortable and no before. Secondly, don't just go round for a blow job, make it happen during foreplay before sex, or if your feeling naughty, surprise him with it.
To be honest though, him degrading you about not doing it tells me he doesn't really deserve one from you anyway! I've had to wait a long time for one from my girlfriend and I've learnt that if I don't pressure her there is a good chance it'll happen sooner!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): Tell him to grow up, ok so you promised, but the fact is you didn;t feel comfortable. Ask him does he really want you to do something your not comfortable with? Also tell him your sorry to break a promise, you did intend to go through with it, but just couldn't. That is what I would and have done if I broke a promise like that. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Well firstly, it was OK for you to back out. If you're not feeling 100% comfortable with something then you shouldn't do it. It means you're not ready. So you did the right thing.
Secondly, he is pressuring you into doing something you don't want to and guilt tripping you so you'll end up giving in. If he loved you and respected you as a person then he wouldn't mind waiting until you were completely comfortable and ready.
Is he pushy else where? Does he try to get you to do other things you don't really want to do? Sexual or otherwise?
If he is then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. My mum married a man who was a pusher and she got very badly treated and it took her years to recover emotionally.
It could get serious and dangerous.
Hope this helps :) x
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