A
female
age
30-35,
*insay
writes:hi, I am now 18 and I had sex with my boyfriend in September. My first time really hurt and it still does now. I have had it about 5 times. The first 4 were with the same person and now I have a new boyfriend who treats me really nicely. I have only had it once with him and it still really hurts...will it get better? Is there certain positions that will hurt the most or is it because I havent had sex a lot yet. Also, I like being fingered on the outside and not inside, is this normal? how can i tell my boyfriend this?Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 You're most likely not getting enough foreplay and aren't loose enough or lubricated enough (or both). The average woman takes a full 20 minutes of active foreplay to be fully ready. Buy some lube too so that even if you get impatient it won't hurt. I know there's a phobia of lube among the younger crowd, but lube is one of those things that EVERY couple should have around and use. It's a great addition to just about everything sexual.
For the fingering, you just need to tell him. For some weird reason a lot of more inexperienced men think fingering takes place in a woman's vagina when the majority of it is about the clitoris. What you should first try is while he's fingering you, say something like "I just LOVE when you rub like this," then put your hand over his and guide it. Not only is that kind of confidence (knowing what you want in bed) a turn on for most guys, but I'm sure he'll love that you've taken away the guesswork of pleasuring you.
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