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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I am not getting enough quality time with my boyfriend.
Q. For those of you in a long-term relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? Lately I've been feeling frustrated with the amount of time my boyfriend and I spend together. We've been dating for five years and don't live t...
A. 30 May 2017: Correction: Just because you two have been together for a while, it is still possible that you two are a mismatch and that it's just taken this long for it to come to light.... (read in full...)
I am not getting enough quality time with my boyfriend.
Q. For those of you in a long-term relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? Lately I've been feeling frustrated with the amount of time my boyfriend and I spend together. We've been dating for five years and don't live t...
A. 30 May 2017: I this is how you feel then this is how you feel. No matter how 'clingy' or 'pathetic' he thinks you're being this is your opinion on the matter.
If he will not discuss the issue at hand then he does not think there's a problem, therefore there wi... (read in full...)
So tired of it, what now? I feel rejected again. We met, and then we were texting a lot. Now he is not replying.
Q. Hi! Just need some advice on not stressing out too much... I met this guy a week ago, last friday. We were at a party and kissed on the night and he was SO nice. He asked for my number and texted me the day after and told me how nice it was ...
A. 29 May 2017: Spent the night together meaning sex? Or date?
If it was sex, then that's all he was looking for.
Simple way to reduce the chance of being disposed of this easily is to NOT sleep with the guy the first time you meet up. It's not great to adm... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't want kids but I do
Q. I am dating a guy I am 35 he is 46 he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and would marry me tomorrow if I wanted it. We have loads in common hobby wise, we have similar political and religious stances. However I really...
A. 29 May 2017: Yep, you need a straight answer here because this is obviously a deal breaker.
Raise the topic again and find out whether he wants them or not. If he doesn't, you will need to find someone who's on the same page as you are.... (read in full...)
I got drunk and made out with a guy but lied to the guy I like about it
Q. Okay so I really screwed up! My cousin set me up with one of her best friends (let's call him Steve) We went paintballing with my cousin and he's a really great guy. He got my number and asked me to go with him to his matric dance (which I said yes ...
A. 29 May 2017: Yeah he definitely knows.
That's too odd a question to randomly ask, he he now knows that you're lying to him.
I don't think you like this guy as much as you say you do though, why would you kiss a random guy if you do? Alcohol is NEVER... (read in full...)
Is there a reason I didn't have an orgasm the first time I had sex?
Q. Hi I'm a near 18 year old female. I lost my virginity a few months back and have only had sex with that one guy. We've always been kind of more than friends (well for over a year), but not quite defined as anything more. It just sort of happened one ...
A. 29 May 2017: Not just women suffer from this so I wouldn't put too much pressure on it, or it will probably just get even worse.
Only 2 girls have ever been able to make me cum during sex, besides that I have to finish myself which has caused lots of drama ov... (read in full...)
Does she like me romantically or just see me as a friend?
Q. Not entirely sure with this, I'd like to think she likes me but I really struggle to tell the difference between what counts as friendship or relationship material. Basically put I met up with this girl who I got talking to online and I met up wit...
A. 29 May 2017: No problem.
Good luck for the future ... (read in full...)
I don't want both of us to be broken after we are dating
Q. Im that type of girl who seeks relationships that has deep connection and not just a plain relationship. So i know this guy for two years, and he's madly in love with me, at first i was really trying to avoid him because i wasn't interested in him ...
A. 29 May 2017: So you'd rather deny your feelings to save your embarrassment? Why on earth would you do that?
Life is far too short to not tell people how you really feel. ... (read in full...)
Am I too old to expect to have a physical relationship? Should I just accept it?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years rarely wants sex - maybe every 3 or 4 months. Aside from that he almost never touches me except for a peck on the lips. This is breaking my heart. I've talked to him about it many times and he says he's too tired but he ...
A. 29 May 2017: No, why would you accept it?
Never settle for anything that doesn't make you happy. You've told him you want things to change and it hasn't.
Find someone that fulfils your needs.... (read in full...)
I found a phone he'd been using to text a woman for 4 years!
Q. Hi I found a phone my husband had a few months ago he had been texting a woman for 4 years !! It was someone he had known 35 years ago and been out with a few times before he met me . He states that he thought they had slept together 35 years ago ...
A. 28 May 2017: How can he not remember sleeping with someone? What a load of rubbish.
You say he loves you yet he's horrible to you. That sounds a little contradictory doesn't it?
Do you think you'll ever get past this? Can you trust him? I don't think you ... (read in full...)
I made a fake account and my boyfriend chatted with it!
Q. i made a fake account recently and send request to my bf...and he asked who s this and then i started talking to him by telling fake family nd fake profession and all..he shared all his personal details with me he even send his pictures to me( fake ...
A. 27 May 2017: To the anons saying that the OP is being attacked:
Why not just leave him if you don't trust him? Why go to the efforts of catfishing him?... (read in full...)
He has ED, should I stay with him?
Q. I am planning to settle down with this guy as I really want kids (I've wanted them for years) and I'd like someone to help bring them up. I've been dating for a few months and found out that he has erectile dysfunction. I am not in love with him...
A. 27 May 2017: If you even have to ask this question he's not the right person for you.
Why would you ever just settle for someone for the sake of it? ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with a part-time escort and not sure what to do now
Q. Long read, please be patient. I am a working professional in my early 30’s and I've been living and working in Southeast Asia for the past 10 years. I live and work in a rather remote and industrial area and thus I've always found it diffic...
A. 26 May 2017: Only way you can find out is by asking her.
As denizen said, are you sure you can deal with her past first?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend hates me!
Q. I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend . We have been together for over a year. We get a long very well don't argue. My friends and family love him and his family likes me as well. His other friends likes me . However , his best ma...
A. 26 May 2017: I'd say he doesn't like that he's lost his partying buddy and he can't get him to slip back into his old ways.
Ignore his friends behaviour, if you trust your BF and have a good relationship this his friend will not come between you both, it... (read in full...)
Does she like me romantically or just see me as a friend?
Q. Not entirely sure with this, I'd like to think she likes me but I really struggle to tell the difference between what counts as friendship or relationship material. Basically put I met up with this girl who I got talking to online and I met up wit...
A. 26 May 2017: Yes she definitely likes you.
She wouldn't of asked you out for another drink and to go with her to the meal if she didn't.
Keep going with it, best of luck.... (read in full...)
I made a fake account and my boyfriend chatted with it!
Q. i made a fake account recently and send request to my bf...and he asked who s this and then i started talking to him by telling fake family nd fake profession and all..he shared all his personal details with me he even send his pictures to me( fake ...
A. 26 May 2017: What do you do?
Leave your BF. You clearly don't trust him to do what you did, so what's the point in staying with him?
Also, what you did it extremely odd behaviour. You don't trust your BF but you're also lying to him by what you're doing, so... (read in full...)
Why is it I feel I lost my soulmate? And could he really have moved on so fast?
Q. Hello again DearCupid. As I look back, I realized I have been posting on here on and off for about 7 years! This has significance because I was just broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years over the phone, and the majority of my posts wer...
A. 26 May 2017: I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this, but this is something that everyone will go through in their life at least once. It sucks, but it's part of life unfortunately, we will always have someone that breaks our heart.
You sound like you're d... (read in full...)
My crush of 2 years just got a girlfriend! Now what?
Q. I'm sure this has happened to people a million times before but this is the first time for me. Quite simply, the boy I've had a crush on for two years has just gotten a girlfriend. He likes her very much - he is constantly preoccupied, staring into ...
A. 25 May 2017: No.
He has a GF, you had your chance to ask him out but you never. He is happy now, so leave him to it. It isn't fair on him or his GF for you to start interfering.
How do you live without him? You already are doing, you're not together.... (read in full...)
How can I forgive my boyfriend for drunk cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together since February, our one year is in a couple days. Last month he came home at 2:30 in the morning after drinking, he told me his car battery had died on his way home from work so he was stuck. i went through his ...
A. 25 May 2017: I wouldn't even try to salvage the relationship if I were you.
He has cheated on you. What worse act can he commit in a relationship? He doesn't respect you. So what if he's sorry, could you ever honestly trust him again?
Why would YOU want i... (read in full...)
Should I tell my art teacher of my feelings in case I never see her again?
Q. So I'm a 16 year old girl I'll be 17 in 2 months. And I am in love with my female art teacher. Sadly she is straight and has a boyfriend. I want to tell her how i feel after I graduate just to get it off my chest but I'm afraid that she will never ...
A. 25 May 2017: No, absolutely nothing would come of this.
1. She is in a relationship
2. You're a student, she's a teacher (You're still also classed as a child)
3. She is straight
This is a crush, this is NOT love. This will pass. Many students your age g... (read in full...)
I know my friend's boyfriend is cheating on her but my boyfriend says I can't tell her
Q. Hi; I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and me and him are good friends with another couple who we go out with and see a lot. I am very good friends with the girl of the couple and he is very good friends with the boy of the couple although...
A. 25 May 2017: I'm with chigirl.
If someone told me one of my friends was being cheated on I would tell them immeditaely.
I don't agree with this whole, let them find out theirself mentality. If that person was being cheated on I'm sure they would want to fi... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from my friend after I rebuffed his advances. What should I do?
Q. A friend came over we went to my room sat on the bed we talked them he touched me I moved his hands. Shortly after he left. Haven't heard him after that. He only sent me moving greetings via whatsapp. Should I try to contact him or walk away?...
A. 24 May 2017: I don't think he is your 'friend'. He clearly has other things in mind besides friendship.
He's probably feeling a annoyed or embarrassed that you knocked back his advances. Doesn't sound like he's too interested in trying to remain friends.... (read in full...)
She agrees to a threesome when drunk but not when she's sober)
Q. Ok... So my wife and I have discussed threesomes with another woman and she has accepted as long as I dont participate, in other words not really a threesome just voyeurism on my part, which i'm totally cool with, but I would also like for her to ...
A. 24 May 2017: You were asking advice on how to approach getting your wife into a threesome when she clearly doesn't want one.
Be prepared for unpleasant comments. ... (read in full...)
I cheated and had a one night stand!
Q. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...
A. 24 May 2017: This is going to eat away at your conscience for as long as you're dating her and chances are it will come out at some point along the line anyways.
Personally, I think you should tell her. It's unfair what you did and it's very unfair to continue... (read in full...)
She's broken up with her boyfriend, is it too early to ask her out?
Q. Hey there everyone! Hope you all are well! I'd like some advice of you could. So I'm a 30/male this girl I need advice about is 25 I believe. She moved in to the apartment next door to me about 6 months ago. I instantly thought she was one of the ...
A. 23 May 2017: I'd give it some time. She will still have some kind of feeling for her ex that she needs to deal with so having another guy come straight into the mix wouldn't help with that and would probably put you as a rebound.
Give it a month or two then... (read in full...)
Despite out 6 year age difference, do you think this relationship could work out well for us ?
Q. Hello. I'd like to get some advice, as I've never been in a similar situation before. I've met a really good, caring and beautiful girl, and in short, we talked a bit, she told me she liked me since the last year, and later on, we kissed a few ...
A. 23 May 2017: I don't see why not.
If you both like each other and are on the same page regarding where you're both at in life then I'd say go for it.... (read in full...)
Do I date him or not? My mother says NO to dating him. My friend says Yes, or she'll not be my friend.
Q. So this guy likes me and i sorta like him back but people tell him not to date him but my best friend says if i dont she wont be my friend and people that said no because they wont let me date him and my mum says i should say no what should i do?...
A. 23 May 2017: What on earth?
Why would your friend fall out with you because you won't date someone? I'd say good riddance if that's how much she values your friendship.
YOU are old enough to make your own decisions. If YOU don't want to date him, then d... (read in full...)
How can I convince my husband to get help?
Q. i worry that my husband may be depressed. he's been acting a little "off" lately, and at first, i was afraid that maybe he wasn't happy in our relationship anymore. he assured me, however, that the problem is not me, but that there's something wrong ...
A. 23 May 2017: You cannot help someone that doesn't want to help their self unfortunately. You've raised concern with him that he needs help, he doesn't think he does. What can you possibly do to change his mind?
I think a lot of men refuse to get help for ment... (read in full...)
How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life?
Q. How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life. Since our second child or sex life has slowed down to maybe 3-5 times a month if that's a good month. It's always planned. She suffers depression.theres times I feel although she'...
A. 23 May 2017: Yes, then I think the only way out of this rut is for her to seek help for her depression.
You need to encourage her to open, tell her you want to understand her view on things you're not trying to nag or cause conflict, you simply want things r... (read in full...)
How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life?
Q. How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life. Since our second child or sex life has slowed down to maybe 3-5 times a month if that's a good month. It's always planned. She suffers depression.theres times I feel although she'...
A. 22 May 2017: Have you actually talked to her about it? A lot of people come onto this website asking questions and they haven't even spoken to their partner about the issue at hand.
If you haven't, that's where to start.... (read in full...)
How can I make my partner's ex not hate me?
Q. My current partner and I got together while he and his then wife were going through a slightly bumpy divorce. Our relationship evolved pretty fast, and I didn’t see this as an issue because they had since moved away from each other, living in their ...
A. 22 May 2017: I'd say the chances of that happening are zero.
To her you always will be the person that ruined her relationship, whether you did or not, I don't think there's anything that you could do to make her change her opinion on you so I wouldn't... (read in full...)
Help me sort this mees out
Q. I deserve to be blamed. I got divorce 4 years ago. My life was good just always I felt something is missing. Every time I was seeing couples holding hands it was catching my attention . I got divorce which I regret it today. It didn't worth the ...
A. 22 May 2017: None of these guys are for you.
Your ex simply because you have divorced.
The second guy because you fell out and broke things off meaning it wasn't working for whatever reason.
The third guy because you rushed into things and half assed ac... (read in full...)
She agrees to a threesome when drunk but not when she's sober)
Q. Ok... So my wife and I have discussed threesomes with another woman and she has accepted as long as I dont participate, in other words not really a threesome just voyeurism on my part, which i'm totally cool with, but I would also like for her to ...
A. 22 May 2017: It's not really hard to tell she's not interested in it, is it?
When someone says no, that means they don't want to do something. That's usually something that's taught at a very young age, do you understand?
... (read in full...)
Does my ex have unresolved feelings for me?
Q. So I dated this girl long distance about 3 years ago. The relationship was fine until the very end when she started lying and treating me horribly. Long story short, she ended up cheating on me with her best friend (shd denied that she cheated on ...
A. 21 May 2017: Okay good.
Maybe she feels guilty for what she did? Or maybe she wants to test the waters to see if you'd be willing to give things another go.... (read in full...)
Help me with this family situation, my father thinks I'm avoiding an event!
Q. I have a difficult situation with my over 65 yr old parents Need advice please My parents live in another state that is a 1hour plane flight away I visit once a year and they come to my state, once a year to visit and and we talk on phone sometim...
A. 21 May 2017: Female anon has really blown this out of proportion.
Not a single person suggested to just go to the meal without her employer's permission, that would just simply be stupid.
If she genuinely has asked for time off work, or to swap shifts with... (read in full...)
Does my ex have unresolved feelings for me?
Q. So I dated this girl long distance about 3 years ago. The relationship was fine until the very end when she started lying and treating me horribly. Long story short, she ended up cheating on me with her best friend (shd denied that she cheated on ...
A. 21 May 2017: It sounds like she still has feelings.
Would it be a good idea to revisit the past though? I don't think so, remember why you guys broke up, would you be able to trust her?... (read in full...)
I can't have an orgasm so I always fake them. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I am in a relationship, almost a year now and we have amazing chemistry together. Every time we are having sex I can't seem to orgasm even if I try my best. On my own Its every time, so I fake it to not upset him or to get it over with.What do I ...
A. 21 May 2017: Is the sex good?
Does he perform foreplay? Or just dive into sex?
Have you told him what you enjoy or given him any direction?... (read in full...)
How do I recover from this breakup?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. Neither one of us was expecting it, but it became clear that we loved each other but we weren't on the same page and wanted different things. Our maturity levels did not align. The hardest part for...
A. 21 May 2017: I agree with YCBS in that you sound like you're doing everything you can be at the moment.
It's still very raw, just give it time. Don't rush into speaking to anyone new hoping that will make things easier, because it wont and it's also not fair... (read in full...)
Will I ruin our friendship if I ask him out first?
Q. A simple one really. A guy I like seems to exhibit all the signs of being into me - dilated pupils, unnecessary physical contact, teasing, lots of talking, grooming around me, etc. Just all that stuff. Yet he hasn't asked me out, and I haven't as...
A. 21 May 2017: Yeah possibly.
Would you rather take the jump and possibly get together? or wonder what if for the rest of your life and get upset seeing him get together with other girls?
Life is too short not to take a gamble.... (read in full...)
Why is he ghosting me now?
Q. Why is all of a sudden ghosting me? This guy bought us concert tickets, we spoke for a while he gave me his number. He spent over £200 for these tickets, continued chatting a while then all of a sudden he started ghosting!! His ignored my me...
A. 21 May 2017: I think why are you wasting your time on someone who's ignoring you?
I can't think of a single valid reason why he would do this, therefore I would block him, delete and move on.
What an absolute waste of time.... (read in full...)
What do her words mean?
Q. hello, I've been seeing this girl now for 6 months, but out of no where, she been acting moody and distant with me lately and I don't know why. So I confronted her about it and ask if I was us and she said yes. she went on to say "I don't know h...
A. 21 May 2017: If a girl said that to me, the reply would be 'No worries, look after yourself and best wishes for the future'.
No way in hell would I let a girl tell me 'I don't know if I want to be with you' And then give her a few days to decide whether ... (read in full...)
Do I message "his secret woman" and ask how many times he has seen her?
Q. After finding a 3 year old secret twitter account of my long term partner I was gobsmacked the tweets 4/5 times a day hugs and kisses can't wait to see you tonight etc he'd been working with her every night for 8 years in 10 years I've never met one ...
A. 20 May 2017: I'm pretty sure you've posted about this before and you received good advice the last time which you seem to of completely ignored.
Asking the question again in the hopes of different answers that fit what you want to happen.
Tell us what ... (read in full...)
Help me with this family situation, my father thinks I'm avoiding an event!
Q. I have a difficult situation with my over 65 yr old parents Need advice please My parents live in another state that is a 1hour plane flight away I visit once a year and they come to my state, once a year to visit and and we talk on phone sometim...
A. 17 May 2017: You haven't said once you can't get a day off. You said you can't take a sick day, USE A HOLIDAY.
It's 2 months away, you can definitely organise to go, you don't want to, just admit it.
It will upset your mother, why would it not? As people g... (read in full...)
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