A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i worry that my husband may be depressed. he's been acting a little "off" lately, and at first, i was afraid that maybe he wasn't happy in our relationship anymore. he assured me, however, that the problem is not me, but that there's something wrong with him. he feels angry at just about everyone and everything all the time; he said he even wakes up angry. something similar to this happened several years ago, when we were dating, but after about a year or so, he was acting like he was back to his old self...and up until this past week, everything seemed fine. i've encouraged him to seek therapy...or even just talk to me about how he feels...but he refuses. he doesn't think talking is going to do anything except make him madder and doesn't think there's anything a therapist could do for him (as a pharmacy technician, i know better since i spend pretty much all day handing out antidepressants). furthermore, he's convinced that we don't have the money to afford counseling, meds, etc. he also works from sun up to sun down, so he feels like he doesn't have time to see anyone, anyway. i love my husband so much and want him happy. how can i convince him to get help?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 May 2017):
 The long and short off it is you can't. I get that you love him and off course you want to help him, but he needs to get the help for himself. If he is not willing to do that then really their is nothing you can do but either support him or else tell him you cannot live like this any longer and things need to change. Depression effects the whole family, not just him.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 May 2017):
 You cannot help someone that doesn't want to help their self unfortunately. You've raised concern with him that he needs help, he doesn't think he does. What can you possibly do to change his mind?
I think a lot of men refuse to get help for mental health issues as they see it as being weak, which isn't the case at all as it can affect anyone at any point in their life.
You need to tell him that there's only so much you can do to help him and that you don't want to see him in the way that he is. However, he also needs to realise that he can't expect you to be okay with how he is and possibly drag you down with him as it will very much start to stress you out also if you're chasing around trying to pick up the pieces.
He's making excuses and he knows it, this needs to be confronted head on and he needs to seek help to get through this. I would sit down with him and explain how it's making you feel also and hopefully if he sees it's affecting you too then he will see sense.
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