A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok... So my wife and I have discussed threesomes with another woman and she has accepted as long as I dont participate, in other words not really a threesome just voyeurism on my part, which i'm totally cool with, but I would also like for her to have sex with another guy and she has agreed to it only when drunk. When sober she says she isn't into it.So what do I do from here? Does she really want to, but is afraid of it? Kinda confused and don't know if anyone that has been in this situation can help.Thank you!
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drunk, sex with another, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2017): If she's uncomfortable with it, then you should find a way to bring excitement to your sex life that you can both accept. As to her feelings, that is something you have to discuss with her. People say things they don't mean when they are drunk!
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (24 May 2017):
 You were asking advice on how to approach getting your wife into a threesome when she clearly doesn't want one.
Be prepared for unpleasant comments.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 May 2017):
 Don't approach it, then .This is YOUR fantasy only. She said " no ".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2017): You did not say fantasy. Do not get her drunk and try this because if you do she will hate herself and she will hate you.You asked all of us and we told you what we thought.Stop nagging her.If you really love her just stop. Oh and please stop trying to gaslight us with your reply...We are smarter than that...The only thing is I hope your wife is too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2017): So much attack... I was asking for advice not a sermon... For those of you saying why did I get married? I love my wife I adore her been with her 10 years! This is just a fantasy and didnt know how to approach the situation.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 Off course she doesn't want to, never trust what a drunk person tells you as they are not thinking straight. I would love to ask though why did you get married if you want your wife to have sex with other people? Did you not enter a commitment?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2017): I have just one question for you. Why did you even get married in the first place? I mean you want to sleep around still and sow your wild oats...then why on Earth would you commit yourself to just one person? Let your wife go...be single... marriage is not for everyone. You are hurting your wife's self esteem with the childish way you are acting. She does deserve better. She does not want to do this. Leave her alone about this! Grow up.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 May 2017):
Since your wife (hopefully ! ) spends much more time being sober than being drunk, I would assume that no, she does not want to do it.
I don't care if when she is drunk she is more open to your suggestions. You take this as a sign that " deep down " she is intrigued . Even if that were true.... so what ?
Life is lived consciously, when you are in control of your behaviour and emotions- not when some substence has temporarily altered your judgement.
I am sure that " deep down ", I would not mind to put my hands on a couple million dollars, even through illegal means. This does not mean that I would like it if someone, taking advantage of my state of intoxication, actively tries to involve me in a bank robbery.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 May 2017):
 How is it difficult to understand? It's so clear she doesn't want to do it.
If you love your wife, stop talking about threesomes because you're making her feel like she has to.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 May 2017):
It's not really hard to tell she's not interested in it, is it?
When someone says no, that means they don't want to do something. That's usually something that's taught at a very young age, do you understand?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 May 2017):
 Are you fed up with life with your wife? Do you want something to fail in your relationship so that you have an excuse for divorce? If so, you are going the right way about it. Keep pushing your wife into a situation she is obviously not happy about and your divorce will happen sooner than you think.
Your wife will either get fed up of you trying to use her purely for your sexual gratification, or she will agree to your suggestion and find she prefers sex with the other woman or man you have introduced into your relationship, and will dump your sorry ass.
If you love your wife and want to stay with her, find ways of introducing excitement into your sex life which do not involve other people. If not, then be a man and divorce her so she can find someone who deserves her.
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