A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Just need some advice on not stressing out too much... I met this guy a week ago, last friday. We were at a party and kissed on the night and he was SO nice. He asked for my number and texted me the day after and told me how nice it was to meet me. He also asked a few messages back and forth after, if we could see each other the following week. I told him I was a bit busy but maybe we could figure something out. We texted the whole week and he tried to kinda meet up two times but it just wasn't possible. We then met up friday after we had both been out, and spent the night together.. He left the next midday as I had something to attend but talked about seeing each other the same night already. We then did that, and he left for work the day after. All the time we spent together he was really nice and lovey dovey even though we don't know eachother that well. Then he didn't text me that day, but I texted him the day after (today) and just wrote I hope he had a nice day blah blah and what he was doing later. He hasn't answered yet (several hours have passed) and I just don't get it. I feel like I have been rejected yet again, and don't know what has happened when he was the one more interested.......... So tired of it, what now?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 May 2017):
 Maybe he is busy who knows? Or if you spent the night having sex with him then maybe he got what he wanted and now he is happy. You see a lot off men find if a girl has sex to soon they won't look at her as girlfriend material because they think she is easy. My opinion is always make a guy wait and then he should see you more than a sexual quest, and if all he wants is sex then he more than likely won't wait.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2017): I have definitely been in your shoes more than once. Unfortunately this behavior seems fairly common in men in their twenties. I think your best bet is to wait for him to text you. If he does, great. If he doesn't, whatever - lesson learned. In the meantime, pursue other men if you feel so inclined. It may also help you not get too attached to any one guy in particular and have multiple options to explore. And next time remember that if you want to keep a guy interested, you have to let him chase you. Don't give everything away all at once - I don't just mean sex either. I also mean don't tell him everything about yourself all at once either. People - men and women both - like a bit of a mystery and a bit of a chase. I know how satisfying it can be to just give it all away early on, especially when it seems like someone likes you, but unfortunately that's not usually a successful strategy.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 May 2017):
 Spent the night together meaning sex? Or date?
If it was sex, then that's all he was looking for.
Simple way to reduce the chance of being disposed of this easily is to NOT sleep with the guy the first time you meet up. It's not great to admit but in my younger years I would ALWAYS stop speaking to a girl if we slept together from a night out or on the first time of meeting. I saw it as if they would do that with me (someone they barely know), how many other people have they done that with. I know that sounds contradictory as I am also hopping into bed with them the first time I had met them, but I'm 99.9% sure this is what this guy will be thinking.
You need to make guys work for it. Any female I've liked in the past has been a challenge where I've had to wait 2months+ before sleeping with them. It is attractive to know that they VALUE their self and will not give it up for the first guy that shows them a bit of attention.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 May 2017):
 What now?
Relax.
Accept that you CAN NOT get to know someone over text, not on a REAL level. And JUST because you two "talked" a lot over text doesn't mean you know him or HE knows you.
Maybe all HE was looking for was to sleep with you. And now that he has THAT crossed off his list he is either slowly dropping you or just simply block or ignore you. A guy who is JUST looking for sex is NOT going to tell you that upfront if he thinks that is NOT what YOU want.
Or he wants to not seem TOO eager.
Or he has a GF.
OR maybe he has other things he is busy with. What I think a LOT of younger people don't get (no offense) is that OTHER people don't sit around and WAIT for your texts so they can reply super fast! It's not realistic.
So my advice? Don't JUMP into things so fast - be it, jumping into bed and/or into thinking the GUY wants the same things you do. He is a stranger. YOU have "known" him for a WEEK!
So CHILL. He might NOT be "the" guy for you.
Since you already texted him, DO NOT text him again. IF he replies after 5 hours - don't reply right away. Don't give off the "I was waiting by my phone for YOU to pay attention to me" vibe... Go about your business, keep making plans with friends, family, work, hobbies, whatever. DO NOT put your life on hold for this guy.
GIVE what you get. It might sound a little "selfish" but it might also help you have a LITTLE restraint here. If you get a "what's up?" text, you GIVE a "the sky" answer kind of thing. Not a long reply to an "I'm just texting because I'm bored". GIVE what you get. It's NOT about "playing" games but about NOT investing MORE than you RECIEVE, into someone you BARELY know.
YOU feel rejected because YOU CHOSE to jump into it with both feet with this guy and HE might not have felt the same. YOU can't go by what he told you, only by his actions.
So NEXT time (if this guy doesn't work out) just GO SLOW. TAKE the time getting to know someone IN person, NOT over various tech.
And know this, IF nothing comes from this encounter with THIS one guy, it's NOT because you DID something wrong. Not EVERY guy you meet will be a MATCH for you.
And know your worth. If this guy didn't, his LOSS.
DO not read TOO much into "silence" over text. ( I know I gave some "options" of what MIGHT be the scenarios but WE don't know. You don't know because you don't know HIM (all that well) and I can ONLY guess.)
LET HIM WORK to met you again. And know your standards. IF you are NOT looking for CASUAL sex, hook-ups or FWB then DON'T have sex until you KNOW the guy and you are a couple.
And even if you ARE busy with life - if you like a guy try and FIT him in - even if it's meeting for a cup of coffee and a game of backgammon but nothing more. (or just the coffee).
Op med humøret!
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