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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I have fallen in love with my FWB and feel I just may regret it. Am I being gullible ?
Q. I had fallen in love with my fwb and wanted more but he was not ready to formalize an already existing relationship. we are already acting like a real couple...so why not just acknowledge it. this was four months of being lovers( sex was ...
A. 7 June 2017: Yes, you are.
If you guys were going to get into a relationship you would already be in one.
He is feeding you bullshit you get into your pants and you're allowing him to do it. Tell him no, you are not sleeping with anyone that you're not ... (read in full...)
Should I commit to moving? Worried about his cheating in past and about leaving my family
Q. Hi! I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a little over two years. He is 27 and I'm 21, so naturally he has more experience than I do. 6 months into our relationship, he confessed that he had cheated on me, so we broke up...
A. 7 June 2017: You're uncertain about it with good reason.
Personally I wouldn't bother, you already seem like you don't fully trust him still and I don't think moving in with him would do anything to change that.
I think the real question you need to be a... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like blow jobs! Am I doing it wrong?
Q. I know this may sound odd, but my husband hates blowjobs. We've been together 8 years now, married for 2 and it's always been the same since I've known him, he's never enjoyed me going down on him. I have only ever gave 1 guy a blowjob before h...
A. 7 June 2017: I know what your BF means. I don't enjoy them as much as some of my friends make out they're as good as. I too find it slightly sensitive at the tip of the penis and it just doesn't feel very pleasureable really. I can take or leave them, I'... (read in full...)
I met a very genuine guy, but could this be too good to be true?
Q. Hi! I'm currently a in college, and have recently gotten out of a relationship about five months ago. He was my first relationship and first love, as we talked for months over the summer before I entered college. He was very respectful and we did ...
A. 7 June 2017: Why question it?
If you're happy, go with it. There's no signs of any red flags from what you've described so I really wouldn't start thinking too deep into things and running the risk of self sabotaging the relationship.... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair with a married woman and she doesn't know if she can ever leave her husband for good
Q. I am a 26 year old man. I work in a school system and I have now been dating one of my co workers for exactly a year (June 9th) The big problem here is that she is married, with 2 kids, and 11 years older then me. But this is not an affair like ...
A. 7 June 2017: What should you do?
Cut things off of course. This woman is NEVER going to leave her husband for you or else she already would of done.
If you feel like such a piece of shit then why don't you stop fucking someone else's wife? Stop acting like... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to get upset with my boyfriend when he doesn't text me in the morning? He used to text me constantly.
Q. Is it wrong that I get upset with my boyfriend when he doesnt text me in the morning? We've been together for nine months and he used to constantly text me, always send good morning and goodnight texts. We haven't been texting as much for the last...
A. 7 June 2017: Why are you still with him if you're not happy? Stop wasting your time on someone that doesn't care.... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair a couple of years ago. Should I write to the woman and ask some questions?
Q. my husband had an affair a couple years ago, he says it is over but I have my doubts. She does not live near us anymore. I want to write her a letter and ask her if he has called her or written her a letter. If he has what has he told her, did he...
A. 7 June 2017: Why are you with someone you don't trust is the question you need to be asking yourself. ... (read in full...)
My FWB wants me to stay the night while his GF is away. Does my FWB expect something different? Or the same?
Q. So I've been seeing a FWB guy since we were both 17ish. Its been nearly 10 years and its a continuing thing, never stopped for either of us. But we have both in and out of relationships and we still do it on the DL. Just wondering i guess if...
A. 6 June 2017: He expects to have sex with you.
What else? Its a FWB.... (read in full...)
Should I continue my relationship? Or end this relationship? Should I heed my mother's advice?
Q. Hi there! I was wondering if you could help me...Basically, there's a situation I'm in where I just need some advice and guidance. So, I'd be grateful to receive some answers. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly half a year now and I've known h...
A. 6 June 2017: Your mother is right.
I think you're well within your rights to tell him to get off his ass and get into gear looking for an apprenticeship. Sure you can't force him to do it, but why would you want to stay with a lazy guy?
Tell him, he ... (read in full...)
Feeling confused. What is happening to me? I had sex with him and I'm not over him yet. Even though my feelings for him are fading.
Q. Hello, I'm 17 going on 18 and I am a little confused about my feelings towards a guy. In a nut shell, we've been friends for a while, things got flirty, he hung out a few times, I lost my virginity to him, we decided to stay friends to avoid th...
A. 6 June 2017: Im not a fan of not telling people how you feel.
It's obvious that you like him more than a friend and I think you're trying to deny it and convince yourself that you don't.
What if he feels the same and you could both be wanting a relati... (read in full...)
I need advice on how to handle this, please? My life is turning into a sitcom
Q. I'm sure a lot of you will probably think I'm being silly. I've tried talking to myself about this, and I've realized that I'm not mad/jealous because I don't want him anymore, I'm just annoyed. I married my ex-husband A (he's 33) in 2013, we wer...
A. 6 June 2017: I agree, why are they in your house so much?
Out of sight, out of mind. Tell them to converse somewhere else.
If your sister has so little class to not know to try and get into her sisters (ex) husband, then I wouldn't be wasting my time ... (read in full...)
Why do I miss him so much now?
Q. I dated a guy for around 6 months altogether. The first three months were perfect, absolutely perfect and we were so well suited, it was literally as if he was my clone too, we were so matchy matchy. I became depressed at the end of the three mo...
A. 6 June 2017: Because it now sounds like you realise how good things could of been between you two.
At the time though you weren't ready, so it's nothing that could of been avoided. You need to understand that it takes its toll on someone to be on/off with the... (read in full...)
Advice please? I'm 17, doing my A levels, and I really want to have a baby.
Q. I'm only 17 but I am really wanting to have a baby. I've been with my amazing, supportive boyfriend for coming up to 2 years and he's everything to me. I'm currently having a really hard time at sixth form with my A levels, and have had to chan...
A. 6 June 2017: Don't even think about it.
You're way too young, your education is the main priority at the moment, until you and your BF both have stable jobs in which you can financially provide for a child then you are not ready.... (read in full...)
What should I do? A shower get with sparkly elements for men? What could be the explanation?
Q. Hi there guys/gals My boyfriend who I have a long distance relationship came around although asked me to run him a bath whilst on the way. When he arrived I made him a cup of tea so he sat on the bed to drink it before he had his bath. I coul...
A. 5 June 2017: Where else can you go with it?
He's given you his explanation for it. If you keep pressing on him for having glitter on his chest he will probably think you're insane.
You must have some trust issues already to be thinking like this. If yo... (read in full...)
I think this 55 year old man may be harassing me. Can someone help me with this problem?
Q. Hey can someone help me out? Gonna explain the story here sorry if its long. Im 20 years old. I live in a small town where they're aren't many bars and there are like 2 or three bars people go to. My boyfriend is a regular at one he's been going ...
A. 5 June 2017: I wouldn't lose a second of sleep over this.
Like you said, he's a drunk, you have proof of you telling him to leave you alone. Block whatever number he calls from. If he continues, I'd take it to the police and press charges for harassme... (read in full...)
What do I do? I feel I can't trust him anymore after what's happened.
Q. Hi I've been in what I thought was a happy relationship for the past 3 and a half years. A couple of weeks ago I went on my Facebook and seen he had became friends with 2 women. I asked who they were and he denied he had added anyone. I had my s...
A. 5 June 2017: If you can't trust him then how can you stay with him?
Break up ... (read in full...)
I don't think he wants a divorce but he wants his freedom
Q. My husband left me for another women but came back. He was with her for 18 months. I was devastated and profoundly affected. Our marriage wasn't perfect but we had been together for 22 years. We both had a hand in it but I never would hav betrayed ...
A. 5 June 2017: Can you seriously live like this?
I don't think this man will ever stop cheating on you and I think deep down you know it. It's really not worth it imo.
Find someone who respects you, because this man doesn't at all.... (read in full...)
Why would a man of his age want to have an affair with a much younger woman?
Q. I am married and now having an affair with a man who told me he 70, but I did abackground check and hes 82!! My guess is he did not want to reveal his real age because I would have said no way. I really like him. I just think it's strange that a ...
A. 4 June 2017: I agree, why are you concerned about his age and not the fact that you're cheating on your husband?
I think you need to get your priorities in check.... (read in full...)
Still devastated over ex, contacted him after 3 months?
Q. While he was in Italy on holiday with his mom who always a burden on our relationship, he told me he wanted to move out with me, and take the next step, I was hopeful. A week later he calls me telling me he has decided to move to Italy for good, ...
A. 4 June 2017: Draw a line under it.
I've been in your shoes sending messages you shouldnt to someone you're trying to get over and feeling crappy because you don't get the response you want.
There is nothing you can do. Block and delete. You guys broke up fo... (read in full...)
Why is he not sharing anything about him?
Q. Why is he not sharing anything about him? Okay, this guy I met in tinder we matched. We exchange our phone number and he WhatsApp me. The thing is a rarely text me if I reply he will take too long reply (sometime 6 days long). When I ask he said ...
A. 4 June 2017: Come on, be serious here.
If someone is interested in another person do you honestly think they would take 6 days to reply?
He isn't sharing anything with you because he DOES NOT want to.... (read in full...)
Recently, my girlfriend starts to bleed everytime she orgasms. What could be wrong with her?
Q. Hello all, I've been with my girlfriend for around seven years. We are our firsts in pretty much everything. Love her to bits still. No fights, good sex life, nothing wrong really. However, something has occurred in our sex-life which I...
A. 4 June 2017: The fact that you haven't asked her to get this checked out already and that you're more worried that she's cheating on you is extremely alarming.... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years. Why does he need so much attention from other women?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years. Throughout the relationship I have caught him engaging in online flirtation. He signs up for dating sites to chat with women, and he uses Facebook to chat with multiple women (sometimes the ...
A. 4 June 2017: Have some self respect.
Why would he stop doing it when there's no consequence?? You are allowing him to do it so I don't blame him for continuing.
Do you seriously think you can't find another man that won't do this?
How on earth have you... (read in full...)
I'm not sure about his response. Please help.
Q. I went through a rough break-up with my ex' two years ago and it's ended in a court case. I have a hard time trusting people now but for the first time in a while someone has caught my eye, and for the right reasons. He isn't my usual type and he'...
A. 3 June 2017: The ball is in his court.
You've asked him out, you can't do much more. If he doesn't bring anything up about it, I'd just take it as he's a friendly person and that's how he acts around anyone. I don't see how you can be more blunt than asking a... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend got blind drunk and cheated on me.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and everything has literally been perfect, he's treated me so well tells me he loves me every single day and how much I mean to him and that he's completely infatuated with me. However I foun...
A. 2 June 2017: I somehow missed reading this part:
'His reasoning behind it is that he didn't tell me because it meant nothing.
He doesn't remember hardly anything just second long flashbacks and would never dream of doing it again to me because of how mu... (read in full...)
Wanting to be seen as Hot. Is it an unrealistic expectation?
Q. I've never been much of a romantic; I don't really believe in love at first sight, or soul mates, and far prefer my relationship to be based on practical criteria over emotions (we have common interests, we have good conversations, we have a similar ...
A. 2 June 2017: How do you sustain a relationship when a guy isn't into your looks? By having a good personality...it's quite simple really.
You're friends are spot on. If all you care about are looks then you're very shallow and unless you also like their pe... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend got blind drunk and cheated on me.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and everything has literally been perfect, he's treated me so well tells me he loves me every single day and how much I mean to him and that he's completely infatuated with me. However I foun...
A. 2 June 2017: I accidentally hit send before finishing my answer.
What else can you do besides break up?
Whether he's drunk or not he made the decision to sleep with another person. How can you get SO drunk that you can't remember sleeping with someon... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend got blind drunk and cheated on me.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and everything has literally been perfect, he's treated me so well tells me he loves me every single day and how much I mean to him and that he's completely infatuated with me. However I foun...
A. 2 June 2017: What else can you do besides break up?
Whether he's drunk or not he made the decision to sleep with another person. How can you get SO drunk that you can't remember sleeping with someone? Does that even happen? How could he get an erection... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but why can't get this other guy out of my head? ?
Q. I just need some advice So I've been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now and it's going great! It's the best relationship I've ever had. However there is this guy who I work with, and like we talked for ages and got really close as friends,...
A. 2 June 2017: You need to leave this guy alone.
Stop trying to be friendly with him, he doesn't want to be your friend, that's very clear. For you to continue trying to speak to him would be very unfair.
You probably miss the attention he gave you. Who do... (read in full...)
What are his intentions if he messages me everyday?
Q. Basically, I have been talking to this guy for 4 months now everyday. We met over an app and I asked if there was anything else I could talk to him on, he asked to add me on facebook and he added me on snapchat. Without a beat, we text everyday; he ...
A. 2 June 2017: Sound's like this won't ever materialise to anything more than talking online.
Some people enjoy having someone to chat and flirt with but knowing there's such a distance between them that they don't have to commit to meeting up.
Let's be real... (read in full...)
Living together is making me broke
Q. My question is about sharing expenses as a couple. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years, and we enjoy each other's company. We've been living together for 5 months, which has resulted in my expenses more than doubling. We both work and we ...
A. 2 June 2017: All good answers you've received.
Personally, I'd take auntybimbims approach and tell her to hit the road. Who does she think she is? Sounds like a cheapsKate.
Who on earth thinks they get to live in a house with a partner for free? What a fre... (read in full...)
Have I the right to feel narked?
Q. I have met someone and seen him a few times. I knew it was his birthday coming up weeks ago. I have asked him if he wants to come over the day before his birthday which he has said he would love to do. I mentioned my daughter working at a race ...
A. 2 June 2017: I don't think so.
If he has booked to go to the races, I'm assuming it will be with guy friends only. Non of my friends invite their GF along to 'Guy only meet ups'. It's just a chance to socialize with his friends for his birthday, can't you arra... (read in full...)
Are sexual exchanges forms of cheating?
Q. I went snooping through my boyfriend phones because I felt like he was being off with me (I know snooping is wrong and I shouldn't assume from past experiences the worst but I couldn't help my curiosity) I noticed that he has snap chat under a ...
A. 2 June 2017: In my eyes yes.
Anything that you would keep secret from your partner regarding another person I would see as cheating.
It's up to you where you go from here, can you see him doing it again? Can you trust him? You need to have a good think as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is lying about porn again. what are my options?
Q. Hi i've been in a relationship with my partner for a few years, the beginning was perfect great sex almost every day. He would always please me go down on me and stuff, compliments all the time he made me feel sexy and confident. we even watched...
A. 1 June 2017: It's not stupid at all.
I've always said this, I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would rather watch porn than have sex with their partner. It truly baffles me.
Well, you're not sexually satisfied and you've established that... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiance how I came up with the name for our unborn daughter?
Q. Hi guys So I am 29, engaged and pregnant. To be honest life couldn't be better right now. My summer wedding is around the corner and everything's great. Here's my question. Me and my fiance are having a girl and have come up with the best n...
A. 31 May 2017: You've opened a can of worms here.
A great name that will remind you of an ex when you hear it. Why would that ever enter your head as a good idea?
You either keep your mouth shut and live it for the rest of your life or suddenly 'go off... (read in full...)
Is it over with my married lover? Or is he just cooling down?
Q. Hello everyone, through common friends I met a guy at a dinner and we clicked instantly. I have been single for 3 years and I'm very hard to connect with someone immediately. We spoke the entire evening and exchanged numbers. The next morning I had ...
A. 31 May 2017: Maybe he's coming to his senses that he's cheating on the mother of his children.
This man IS NOT respectful. Where the hell did you get that from? He tried to charm you, you supposedly 'cut ties', yet he could still contact you, pesterin... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my co worker about our fling, or let it go?
Q. Hey guys, need some work/relationship advice!! So I recently started working at my job a little over a month ago. One thing I love about this place is there are a lot of people my age and we're all motivated to work, but can still have a good time...
A. 30 May 2017: He's a waste of time.
Don't bring it up anymore, it's dead in the water. Draw a line under it and from now on speak to him regarding work matters only, leave him to play games with another girl and DO NOT get involved in further work place ro... (read in full...)
Did he mean anything by this or not?
Q. Me and this boy have known each other for a while, although until recently we've gone a few months without talking just because we haven't seen each other. The other night we were at a mutual friend's party and we started talking, and the next day...
A. 30 May 2017: He's saying you're attractive.
Ask him out, see what happens.... (read in full...)
I want to tell his wife that I was his mistress
Q. I am a 44 years old divorced woman. 15 years ago when I was 29, I dated this one guy who was an American soldier. I wasn’t very much attracted to him at first, so it took a lot of effort for him to get me into a relationship. We never said ‘I love ...
A. 30 May 2017: I agree with the others.
You are jealous that she has him, this isn't doing her a favour, this would tear her life apart. Like honeypie said you didn't care about her back then so why would you suddenly feel bad about it now?
Get rid of hi... (read in full...)
Why didn't he tell his friends he had broken up with me?
Q. The man I had been seeing for 14 months and I had an argument....almost. I asked him how he felt about me because I needed to know in order to decide where to take my life. Eight months ago he was gung ho about "US" and then he turned cold. He told ...
A. 30 May 2017: I don't think that necessarily means he didn't tell you that you broke up.
He may still want to speak to you regardless of whether you're together with his friend or not. I've seen many stories on this website of people who stay in touch with the... (read in full...)
I am not getting enough quality time with my boyfriend.
Q. For those of you in a long-term relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? Lately I've been feeling frustrated with the amount of time my boyfriend and I spend together. We've been dating for five years and don't live t...
A. 30 May 2017: Correction: Just because you two have been together for a while, it is still possible that you two are a mismatch and that it's just taken this long for it to come to light.... (read in full...)
I am not getting enough quality time with my boyfriend.
Q. For those of you in a long-term relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? Lately I've been feeling frustrated with the amount of time my boyfriend and I spend together. We've been dating for five years and don't live t...
A. 30 May 2017: I this is how you feel then this is how you feel. No matter how 'clingy' or 'pathetic' he thinks you're being this is your opinion on the matter.
If he will not discuss the issue at hand then he does not think there's a problem, therefore there wi... (read in full...)
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