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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I don't trust him as he's still active on the dating site, but I really don't want to end the relationship!
Q. We met online dating site. Agreed to close accounts once established relationship. He agrees exclusively, yet is still active on dating site! He denies any chatting or meetingsd x but refuses to close the account. . I was with him when he recieved a ...
A. 14 May 2017: Sounds like he's trying to guilt trip you, don't give in.
Nice of him to call you fucked up also. Sounds like a great guy.... (read in full...)
Trust and retroactive jealousy issues
Q. Okay, well this is hard for me to write, but I really could do with some help or advice, please. I have been in a relationship with a lovely woman for 3 months now, and we are both getting along great and really enjoy each others company. We are ...
A. 9 May 2017: I'm glad you were able to open up to her an she has been supportive, she sounds like a great woman.
Best of luck with getting over your issues... (read in full...)
Should I bring up the subject again? Or maybe was he just joking?
Q. Me and this guy have been off and on for many years. Since Xmas last yr things have been getting better again for us.. him coming to see me from where he lives now more them once a week etc. Yesterday we both was discussing how long we had know...
A. 9 May 2017: You are on and off with each other. Why is that?
Something clearly isn't working between you guys for this to happen. That's not how normal relationships work. People don't break up and get back together when they can be bothered, therefor... (read in full...)
Drunk kissed my crush. We attend same classes too. What should I do?
Q. I'm sorry this is so long! But please I need an advise T.T So there's this guy in my college, let's call him M, who shares all classes with me (since it's a small college we are a little class of 19 people that will be together during all the 4...
A. 9 May 2017: What should you do? Nothing. What can you do?
The guy clearly isn't interested. I can tell you straight away that if a guy wants a girl that they're already on a good foundation with i.e share a lot of classes together and talk often, he will cha... (read in full...)
Feeling upset. Is this just natural or am I wrong? I love my fiance.
Q. Well...not been on here for a while. I am engaged, pretty happy with my partner of 5 years then my mother goes and mentions my ex who split with me when times got hard on my family farm and I got very depressed and lost everything. Things got na...
A. 9 May 2017: I'm with YCBS.
This guy is in the past, don't worry about him and tell your mother never to bring him up again as it's something you don't wish to talk or think about.
Also, the pretty happy part? Why is that? You may want to reconsider marry... (read in full...)
Cheating in a LDR. What advice can you give to me re my Gf who I think may be cheating?
Q. This is my long distance relationship. We are dating 6 months. I met my girlfriend through my cousin. In our relationship, she is always showing to me that she is nice girl, and a faithful wife in future. She treat me very nice. About my girlf...
A. 9 May 2017: Block her, delete her, move on with your life.
You know she is cheating now so you have your answer, don't waste anymore time on her. Fill your time with productive activities to stop yourself thinking about her.
Best of luck... (read in full...)
Trust and retroactive jealousy issues
Q. Okay, well this is hard for me to write, but I really could do with some help or advice, please. I have been in a relationship with a lovely woman for 3 months now, and we are both getting along great and really enjoy each others company. We are ...
A. 8 May 2017: Talk to her.
If she knows how you're feeling then she may be able to understand and help the issue. If you keep it bottled up and keep acting like an ass with her then you will ultimately sabotage your own relationship.
Communicate w... (read in full...)
I don't trust him as he's still active on the dating site, but I really don't want to end the relationship!
Q. We met online dating site. Agreed to close accounts once established relationship. He agrees exclusively, yet is still active on dating site! He denies any chatting or meetingsd x but refuses to close the account. . I was with him when he recieved a ...
A. 8 May 2017: Seriously?
Are you that desperate to be with someone that you would let someone openly tell a woman on a dating site that he would be open to meeting her and that he's not in a relationship?
Do you think you can have a relationship wit... (read in full...)
What does he mean by this message?
Q. Hello, though this may sound a little silly but what does it mean if a man says "sweet dreams with hugs and kisses followed by "I miss you" I don't want to read too deep.. LDR 8 months yes we have met in person. He's in the military. I think it...
A. 8 May 2017: I think you've already read too much into it.
How many meanings can sweet dreams have? He misses you, it's right there.... (read in full...)
Why is my ex-fwb still contacting me after he ended things?
Q. I was recently dumped by my fwb because he and his girlfriend is getting serious. i wanted to end things when i found out he got back with his girlfriend but i wasn't strong enough to leave. after a week he ended things he texted me something that ...
A. 8 May 2017: It shouldn't matter what it means. This guy is clearly a dick, he has a gf and he's still trying to sleep with you.
Block, delete, move on. Find someone who respects you more than just wanting to have sex with you.... (read in full...)
Are we really just friends with benefits?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been friends with this man since college and when we met he told my friends there was "something different about her" and was very into me. I was into him also but because he dated someone I knew we flirted a lot but it never ...
A. 8 May 2017: Such a waste of time.
He knows you like him and plays on it. I can't see this ever materialising into something more which I'm guessing you're hoping for.
Why is the timing off with you but not other girls? The longer you continue down th... (read in full...)
Looking to reclaim my sexuality and get past the fear of meeting potential fwbs. Advice?
Q. (Admin: Did not mean to send last question unfinished,please do not post it, sorry) I am looking to reclaim my sexuality but I am struggling to follow through with my intentions and find the right person to do it with. I have not had ...
A. 7 May 2017: I agree with anons advice that it would be a good idea to seek some kind of counselling first to help with your anxiety, that would probably be the best place to start.
Onto your actual question, like you said, you just have to jump in or you will... (read in full...)
After 4 years, does she like me enough to go on a date with me?
Q. I've been talking to a girl for the last 4 years on and off and we have been friends. For the last 3 and a half years, we've messaged for something like 2 months on, and 4 months off. Just last August, we started messaging back and forth at least ...
A. 7 May 2017: We don't know her as a person so it would be impossible for us to be able to tell if she likes you, this is why you will HAVE to make the move or else you're never going to find out.
I think you're making excuses by saying you can't ask her out ... (read in full...)
After 4 years, does she like me enough to go on a date with me?
Q. I've been talking to a girl for the last 4 years on and off and we have been friends. For the last 3 and a half years, we've messaged for something like 2 months on, and 4 months off. Just last August, we started messaging back and forth at least ...
A. 7 May 2017: We couldn't possibly answer that from the information given.
The only way that you can find out is by doing what you said is out of the question. How is asking her on a date out of the question? Do you not think her previous boyfriends asked he... (read in full...)
Is he being a friend or is he truly interested in me?
Q. So I've been friends with this man from my church. He is considerably older than me and he is single. He also has a 3 year old boy. We get along great and I babysit his child from time to time. I've had feelings for him for a few months and I don't ...
A. 6 May 2017: I don't think he would keep inviting you out for dinner and ask you about previous relationships if he only saw you as a friend.... (read in full...)
Will it bother this man that I'm dating that I have personal problems?
Q. So I guess I'll start from the beginning in September my dad became very unwell I was originally born in London but live in Ireland in Dublin as my parents split up when I was younger. Since I found out my dad was sick I've been travelling to Londo...
A. 5 May 2017: Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing something like this at such a young age.
If you like this guy and can see potential in something happening between yourselves then I think it would make sense to let him know of the situation and that... (read in full...)
My husband is almost forcing me to have sex with my lesbian neighbor
Q. Hi, my husband has recently come home after a month away and suddenly started wanting me to have sex with my lesbian next door neighbour, he doesn't want to watch or be involved at all. We have known she has a crush on me for a long time and given ...
A. 5 May 2017: This is extremely bizarre.
Tell him you want him to have sex with a male neighbour and that you were always scared you'd come home and see them in bed together but you're fine with it now.
See how he responds to that.... (read in full...)
Is something going on behind my back? Should I trust him?
Q. Is it strange for your partner of 17 years not to add you on Facebook when he says it's for workmates ..which is a lie I've never met one person he works with in 8 years has been in the same job . By accident I came across a 3 year old Twitter ...
A. 5 May 2017: You're seriously giving him ANOTHER chance?
This man IS NOT satisfying your needs, possibly cheating on you and using you for a free ride.
You may of been with him for 17 years but this doesn't mean he's the right man. I'm truly baffled as... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? When is it okay to not feel comfortable having your boyfriends ex flings hanging around?
Q. Two months ago I started seeing this guy. Three weeks into our relationship he tells me he has to go away for work. He asked me to stay at his place and watch his cat. The morning he's leaving it comes up that it’s his ex from months ago who hire...
A. 4 May 2017: Are you going to be able to deal with this long term or not? You said yourself it's a lot of baggage. You need to think long and hard whether you can put up with this.
You haven't been dating long so if you're going to get out, nice and early wo... (read in full...)
Is something going on behind my back? Should I trust him?
Q. Is it strange for your partner of 17 years not to add you on Facebook when he says it's for workmates ..which is a lie I've never met one person he works with in 8 years has been in the same job . By accident I came across a 3 year old Twitter ...
A. 4 May 2017: I'd be extremely surprised if this man isn't cheating on you.
How have you put up with this for so long?... (read in full...)
Do I confess to my date about his ex?
Q. What do I do? I've got a date with this guy who I've fancied for a long time, but last year, I catfished his ex. Not on purpose, I just wasn't comfortable at the time with my sexuality. We spoke every day and then I realised after a couple ...
A. 4 May 2017: If someone told me they catfished someone else I would run a mile. It's extremely odd behaviour therefore If I were you I'd keep my mouth shut.
If he finds out then it's your own fault for doing something dodgy in the first place. There is NO EX... (read in full...)
Confusedabout my feelings
Q. I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...
A. 2 May 2017: His insecurities aren't an excuse to be rude to you, the guy is just an ass. I think the majority of people on earth will be insecure about something so does that give them the right to be impolite to other people because of it? Of course not, so ... (read in full...)
Confusedabout my feelings
Q. I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...
A. 2 May 2017: How could he possibly be your ideal man whilst giving you the worst insults you've ever had?
Sounds like a complete dick. Would run from this one and not look back.
I think denizen hit the nail on the head that he only apologised becau... (read in full...)
I'm now taller than my former boyfriend and feel uncomfortable about it!
Q. Hi I used to date a guy in school (we were young and it wasn't really serious.) He was taller than me back then and often teased me about being shorter than him. I didn't really mind because it was always meant jokingly. After 10th grade he we...
A. 2 May 2017: Come on let's be serious. This isn't even an issue. Why would you need to avoid someone because you're taller than them?
What could you possibly be expecting him to do that you would need to stay clear of him? ... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for wanting some intimacy?
Q. My Fiancee and I have been together for a few years now and at first we had a fantastic sex life but now we are down to having sex maybe once every couple of months if that. And even then she doesn't seem to be interested so neither of us enjoy it. ...
A. 1 May 2017: Of course not.
I think you need to confront this head on, she's not as interested in sex as much as she used to be, but what's the reason? She needs to open up. Her expecting you to be fine without intimacy is unreasonable.
Sexual incomp... (read in full...)
I've been with my boyfriend 2.5 years and never had sex. I think he's in love with his ex
Q. Hi. I am 56years old and my boyfriend is 55. I have been with him for 2 1/2years. Lived with him for 14 months out of that time. He has never made love to me although he says he loves me. I also found out, reading his own words that right before ...
A. 30 April 2017: Is this really better than being on your own?
Being left sexually unsatisfied whilst being expected to perform sexual favours and possibly being cheated on. Come on, have some self respect and break up with this man.
... (read in full...)
Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?
Q. I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...
A. 30 April 2017: Of course not. What good would come of that conversation? What positive outcome could you possibly have in your head?
Your wife was doing YOU a favour. Sparing your insecurities, but unfortunately you overhead it.
Just let it go. You've said ... (read in full...)
What is going on with his ex? What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, some of u may remember me from my past questions.. Ill give a little background info. Around october i was really active on this site, I'm 19 years old (now 20) and i was in a really toxic relationship with a 35 year old man.. It was...
A. 28 April 2017: It's very obvious he's a waste of time.
Block him, remove him from your life. You know he's a let down and he isn't going to change for you.
Move forwards without him.... (read in full...)
He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now
Q. I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...
A. 28 April 2017: You're not 12 years old so stop acting like it.
If you really can't get over it, break up with him. You know he doesn't regret it so you're not going to make him feel bad about it, but by then going and rubbing his face in it sounds a little c... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 28 April 2017: He will think 'Great, my wife is very adventurous in bed. My gosh hasn't this sex improved'.
You said it yourself it is 'Standard'. But the thing is, YOU are holding it back by the sound of things. I really don't think your husband would complain... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 28 April 2017: He will think 'Great, my wife is very adventurous in bed. My gosh hasn't this sex improved'.
You said it yourself it is 'Standard'. But the thing is, YOU are holding it back by the sound of things. I really don't think your husband would complain... (read in full...)
Where do I stand in this relationship? What can I say to him to get the answers I need? 2
Q. So I've been talking/meeting this guy since last May, which is nearly a year ! He says he doesn't want to rush into a relationship because his last girlfriend cheated on him. And he tells me to be patient for a relationship because he will have to...
A. 26 April 2017: He's feeding you bulls*it and your buying it.
Nobody takes a year to decide whether they want to be in a relationship with someone. My guess is he's speaking to multiple girls and he's keeping you at arms length.
If he wanted to be your boyfr... (read in full...)
Am I cheating on my boyfriend? ? Hope not.
Q. Am I cheating on my boyfriend!! I downloaded tinder to relook at my old profile which he knew about and I used it for a couple of days and got chatting to one Man for a while. Little thing or anything but i dont any feeling toward him ! But ...
A. 26 April 2017: Have you tried communicating with your boyfriend? How could he possibly know how you feel without you telling him?
Delete tinder and dont use it anymore. ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating on me if he's flirting in public with other girls? Should I kiss him for the first time at the party?
Q. hey guys i need some help. I am dating this boy that i have strong feelings for. But recently I see him flirting with some other girls like playing around, like poking their stomach,laughing,and talking a lot to each other in front of me knowing w...
A. 26 April 2017: If he cared he wouldn't be touching other girls.
Wouldn't waste your time on this one.... (read in full...)
His feelings for me changed so quickly!
Q. Can someone's feeling for you change in two months? My ex and I broke up in September 2015. We didn't speak for 4 months then out of the blue one day he texted me. We started talking, and hanging out as just friends. We talked about stuff like...
A. 25 April 2017: He got bored of his relationship and wanted to sleep with you, pretty simple.
If he wanted to marry you then why is he marrying someone else?
He fed you some bulls*it to sleep with him and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.... (read in full...)
Should I not have told him how I feel?
Q. Is it wrong to say how you feel? I've posted before about how a good friend of mine ignores and doesn't reply when something goes wrong and never makes an effort to initiate conversations after an argument. We hooked up a couple of times ...
A. 25 April 2017: The real question is why are you wasting your time on this guy? I don't see what you're getting out of this 'friendship'. All you do is get ignored, get mad and then tell him you're annoyed. What's the point?
Forget about him, block him and move... (read in full...)
I need to tell him I only want casual sex, not a relationship!
Q. I met this guy on a dating app and we have been on two dates so far. I don't think he and I are compatible but he's very nice and good-looking. I cannot see a long-term relationship forming from this AT ALL, but would like to turn it into FWB if it ...
A. 25 April 2017: If you want a FWB from this, then tell him, ask him if it's something he's interested in. Maybe that's all he wants also, you will never know until you talk about it.
Just be straight up with him, if you've enjoyed the dates then let him know and... (read in full...)
Should I be mad because my friend helped get me fired?
Q. I was working with this girl K and my friend L and her friend C. Our boss LO, was always ingrained in L's life calling and texting her, and L asked me to make him stop with the text messages. After a while I discovered that LO was spreading rumors ...
A. 25 April 2017: Why did you get fired exactly?
What kind of place of work is this where your boss talks about you behind your back? I'd be looking into legal action if you've been unlawfully fired, never mind wondering who to be mad at.... (read in full...)
My g/f hasn't changed her status on FB yet does that mean we are not broken up?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for almost three years and engaged for 7 months. I wrongly accused her of having a 'thing' for her brother in law a few times which has led to us having a 'break' for a few weeks. We reconciled but it took some...
A. 25 April 2017: I know people who didn't change their relationship status for weeks after being very much broken up.
Facebook doesn't mean anything.... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?
Q. Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...
A. 24 April 2017: I'm with honeypie. You knew she did this to earn her money, she isn't going on this site to watch guys jerking off, she's putting on a show to get paid.
You're going online to look at other naked females. It's really not the same thing.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...
A. 24 April 2017: To put it into a nutshell, you're barking up the wrong tree.
If you two were going to be in a relationship, you would be. You've given him all the benefits of a relationship without the downsides of being in one, why would he change that?
Peop... (read in full...)
Is my relationship healthy?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...
A. 24 April 2017: If you need to ask this question then youre clearly not ready for it.
Sounds like you're doing what he wants to do.... (read in full...)
Do any men have this problem? I cannot orgasm from oral sex
Q. This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever. I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite s...
A. 24 April 2017: I'm with chigirl.
Your brother took your innocence and ruined your childhood and you're doing yourself an injustice by letting him get away with it. I'm sorry you had to experience what you did.
Inform the police and get therapy. You sho... (read in full...)
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