Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?
Q. I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...
A. 12 August 2017: Because he already has you where he wants you.
He would have to convince another woman to help him cheat on his wife if he were to go elsewhere. Why go through all the hassle when he could just feed you a few lines to keep you hooked?... (read in full...)
When its good its great but right now its bad.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for roughly four months. It's long distance so things have gotten intense pretty quickly! We were planning to move in together but I felt it was too soon so I told him how I felt. Since then things have not been ...
A. 10 August 2017: This is 4 months in?
Run for the hills and don't look back. This will not get better believe me. You don't sound a good match for each other.... (read in full...)
Need to pee blocks my climax
Q. I am having a personal issue with my husband and I feel like I'm loosing my mind. Every time things get "frisky" I want to finish, I feel like I need to, but I always get an overwhelming urge to pee; even though i use the bathroom right before we ...
A. 10 August 2017: I agree with Riot.
I could be massively wrong, but I've been told by females in the past they get a sensation of needing to pee when they're about to 'squirt'.
Whether that's true or not, I have no clue. ... (read in full...)
Married co-worker I'm having an affair with is now ignoring me
Q. Im a married woman who has been having a fling if you call it that with a married co-worker. Now that weve slept together hes been ignoring my texts yet still speaks to me in work like nothing has happened.( a week ago) Im so confused by this. Im ...
A. 10 August 2017: Are you being mugged off?
Erm, what about your husband and his wife?
He realises he was a complete idiot and wants nothing more to do with it. Maybe you need the same mindset, either divorce your husband or work on your marriage. ... (read in full...)
I ended the affair but he keeps contacting me
Q. I have been involved with a married man for over 5 years....he said he's in a sexless marriage and his wife doesn't show him any affection....he can't leave her yet as he feels he would be abandoning his kids even though they are in their late ...
A. 9 August 2017: If only there was a way to stop someone contacting you...
BLOCK him and next time find someone who isn't married - Problem solved.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about his ongoing involvment with his ex.
Q. Hi, When i met my partner he was still having his ex round his house watching films, going out, and going on holiday, all of this he lied about. We split up a year later and he was trying to find a house near his ex and he contacted her stra...
A. 9 August 2017: Does this really need advice?
Surely you can see that he is most definitely cheating on you. Block, delete, move on. Simple.... (read in full...)
I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?
Q. I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...
A. 9 August 2017: Why would he stay?
Because you're giving him sex without commitment.
Doesn't take a genius to work out.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont give me a BJ!
Q. My girl and i are in long distance relationship since the starting and we love and trust each other deeply. We do occasionally meet and have wonderful sex . Currently we are even planning to get married and get our parents involved . Now m...
A. 5 August 2017: She isn't a mind reader.
If you're not happy, tell her.
If having a blowjob really means that much to you then it sounds like you're not sexually compatible.... (read in full...)
My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: MissKin has hit the nail on the head.
His heart isn't in it. You broke up for whatever reason in the past so you already know you two aren't compatible. Just let it go.
Don't you think you'll be happier with someone that you can actually hav... (read in full...)
I asked him:what about us after dating 4 months, he did not answer me at all.what should I do?
Q. What did i do wrong to deserve this? I have been dating with this guy i met online for 4 months. Everything was going great except he had a lot of family issues or work issues. Every time he was arguing his mom or sister, he was always talking ...
A. 5 August 2017: Be realistic here.
You're not going to get over it in 5 days.
Why on earth would you still want to be speaking to someone who's stringing you along? You wanted to know if you were serious or not and he disappeared off the face of the earth. Th... (read in full...)
Colleague keeps rejecting friendly advances
Q. Do I keep trying to talk to this moody younger work colleague? She's 25 and until 7 weeks ago would always say hi and make occasional small talk (she does chat a lot to her buddies,I'm not a buddy) She injured her back, was off work a few...
A. 5 August 2017: I agree, what's with the obsession??
If she doesn't want to speak to you forget about it, why would you keep trying over and over again? If someone you didn't like kept trying to speak to you wouldn't you get annoyed after a while?
Let it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to talk about sex or have sex. Why?
Q. My bf is 26, I'm 32. He is very sexual, likes porn, been caught cheating several times. We've broken up and just recently got back together. I've noticed that he seems very uncomfortable watching porn with me, talking about sex, and does not like to ...
A. 3 August 2017: But he doesn't care about you though.
He cheats on you. End of. You don't do that to someone you care about. Stop making excuses for his cheating his cheating as you're basically enabling him and saying he has a valid reason for it.
That is... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to talk about sex or have sex. Why?
Q. My bf is 26, I'm 32. He is very sexual, likes porn, been caught cheating several times. We've broken up and just recently got back together. I've noticed that he seems very uncomfortable watching porn with me, talking about sex, and does not like to ...
A. 2 August 2017: I'd be more concerned that you keep taking him back after cheating than why he won't have sex with you.
Do you have any self respect or so you usually let people walk all over you? Surely you can find someone who treats you as you ought to be in... (read in full...)
Did I prove a point in this office situation?
Q. I've heard that women hate it when men don't look at them or pay them any attention, and liking the guy or being in a relationship already is irrelevant. I had an attractive young woman always looking at me in the office a work. I deliberately...
A. 2 August 2017: Does it matter?
You're at work, not looking for a relationship.... (read in full...)
Do I ask him or a date or wait for him to ask me
Q. im chatting with a man online. On his profile he said hes in no rush and wants to get to know a person well. we have exchanged details ( phone numbers , social media, not addresses) we have been chatting for 6 week but he hasnt asked me out . He is ...
A. 2 August 2017: If you like him just ask him out.
Why waste more time than you have to finding out what his intentions are?... (read in full...)
Is this guy online serious?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a good 6 months now. We met through Snapchat. He has been the one initiating conversation majority of the time and he has admitted to liking me and caring about me. He said he wants to get to know me a bit more on a ...
A. 2 August 2017: I'm pretty sure you've asked 2 questions about this now already.
It sounds too familiar for it to be a different person.
If you feel like he is messing you around then he probably is. If he can't speak to you on the phone I couldn't even im... (read in full...)
Would he have given his number if he wasnt really interested
Q. Im hopeless in the world of dating . Im on a dating site and the guy im chatting with is legit hes very open and hasnt held back with anything hes show me videos of where he works and facebook details , He asked if i was free we could meet for ...
A. 2 August 2017: Well he's asking you out on dates and you've not met him yet so he probably feels like you're messing him around.
If you like him, meet him. Simple.... (read in full...)
Do men ever regret dumping a good woman?
Q. Want to ask the other women on this site,I treated my ex great I thought, I did every thing to try to make him happy,its been over a year now, do you think he ever thinks of me. Do men ever regret dumping a good woman, oh he ghost me, never got a ...
A. 2 August 2017: In all honesty, I doubt it.
I don't think he would of broken up with you if it meant he would be thinking about you often. Sounds like you may need some councilling to help you get over this if you're still thinking about it all a year on.
T... (read in full...)
I asked him:what about us after dating 4 months, he did not answer me at all.what should I do?
Q. What did i do wrong to deserve this? I have been dating with this guy i met online for 4 months. Everything was going great except he had a lot of family issues or work issues. Every time he was arguing his mom or sister, he was always talking ...
A. 2 August 2017: No, absolute waste of time.
You've asked him ahere it's going and it's obvious that it's going nowhere for him.
He lied to you about his ex gf calling you also so that would be a red flag for me. Sounds like he has unfinished business with he... (read in full...)
I have a fear that if we have sex it will be the end of our relationship
Q. I have just started seeing this guy and things are going well. We have met a few times now and the dates have been going out for dinner, a walk along the beach and the last one was he made me dinner at his. Physically, things have happened but...
A. 1 August 2017: Well your only options are to break things off now or just take the plunge and stay with him and when you're ready to have sex with him then you will see his next move.
You can't go through life thinking every man is the same or you'll end up v... (read in full...)
We met twice and now she says she wants space. Doesn't she like me?
Q. I met a girl online and we've met in person on two occasions. We seemed to just click from the beginning and she even said she didn't understand why I was still single. We've spoken on the telephone at length between meetings, however following our ...
A. 1 August 2017: She's not interested.
You didn't click as much as you thought or else she wouldn't be acting this way with you.
There could be a whole host of reasons why this has happened, but the one thing you need to take away from this and understand is th... (read in full...)
I pushed him away because I wanted him closer to me.
Q. So 3 weeks ago I kind of pushed my boyfriend away and told him I don't wanna be with him but what I was really trying to do is making him understand my mental illness, suffering from GAD and BPD, I tried to tell him maybe through my ery wrong way of ...
A. 1 August 2017: It's not judgemental at all.
If you are going to be offended by what answers you receive then why would you ask for advice full stop? Sounds like you're basically saying answer it how I would like you to. I don't sugarcoat my advice, people p... (read in full...)
I wonder should I tell him how I feel?
Q. So there's this guy. He was the president of a club I'm in, but this past may he graduated and he's going off to college in 2 weeks. We became really close. He would give me rides places and we would go on runs together. We went out to a formal ...
A. 1 August 2017: Denizen is right.
You're too young for him, you're at completely different stages in your lives. Let this one go, you have plenty of time to find someone who things will work with.... (read in full...)
I pushed him away because I wanted him closer to me.
Q. So 3 weeks ago I kind of pushed my boyfriend away and told him I don't wanna be with him but what I was really trying to do is making him understand my mental illness, suffering from GAD and BPD, I tried to tell him maybe through my ery wrong way of ...
A. 1 August 2017: I'm sorry but how on earth would you think this would work?
You told him things are over and now you're complaining because he's trying to move on? He has done exactly what you asked of him so you have absolutely no right whatsoever to be annoyed ... (read in full...)
I've told him how I feel but he says I am overthinking!
Q. Hello, I have been seeing a guy since April. I met him at university but now I have finished, I have moved back home, meaning we live 2 hours away from each other. I also went travelling for two months after seeing him for 2 months. We still...
A. 1 August 2017: Personally I think this guy is a waste of time.
He's going to ask you out soon? Why soon? Why not right now? Is he busy? Got to put his washing out? Needs to fix his car tyre first? What difference would there be between asking you out now and ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend's girlfriend texted me telling to delete old posts from when we were dating
Q. I got a message from my ex's current girlfriend. He cheated and immediately got together with her after our breakup. I took the breakup better than I expected and became happier. But he always texts trying to get back together. He also started ...
A. 31 July 2017: I'd ignore her.
Nothing to do with her or even him what's on your facebook. I'd also block them both..
What's he going to do if you don't delete the pictures? Call the police? Do whatever you want on your social media. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is cheating, pressuring me to have sex. I'm afraid he'll leave me if I don't give in
Q. I am 19 and even tho i know all my friends are having sex, i know it doesn't mean i have to but i'm getting a lot of pressure from my boyfriend to do it right now. The pressure seems to be more and more as the days go on. And I will be honest, i ...
A. 29 July 2017: Dodged a real bullet there.
Just let this be a lesson and hopefully you have better luck in future.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is cheating, pressuring me to have sex. I'm afraid he'll leave me if I don't give in
Q. I am 19 and even tho i know all my friends are having sex, i know it doesn't mean i have to but i'm getting a lot of pressure from my boyfriend to do it right now. The pressure seems to be more and more as the days go on. And I will be honest, i ...
A. 29 July 2017: Really?
I'm seeing a lot of posts lately that are making me think 'is this serious?'.
Why on earth, would you stay with someone who is:
1 Cheating
2. Pressuring you to do something you don't want to
Please use your brain and have so... (read in full...)
My husband is trying to bully, control, manipulate and isolate me! Help!
Q. I have recently got married again and gradully my husband is imposing boundaries and when i challenge these he becomes incredibly angry to the point of screaming, telling me i'm stupin and running down my friends and family. He is now tell8ng me my ...
A. 28 July 2017: Divorce him?
Tell your family members what is happening and I am sure they will be at your aid immediately. Don't let this man isolate you or things will go downhill rapidly.
Get out whilst you still can.... (read in full...)
Did I accidentally lead my controlling ex boyfriend on?
Q. Currently I have an amazing bf who I've been dating for a short while. Before I started dating him, I dated another guy for a short while who turned out to be a total control freak. When I 1st met him, the feeling of being wanted felt very good. ...
A. 28 July 2017: Why do you care?
It's done with, you guys were a bad match for each other so why are you wasting your time thinking about it?... (read in full...)
He walks out but swears he loves me. Please advise
Q. I need some help please,my boyfriend is living with me but he has left me 3 times now,the First and second time I begged his mother and sister to get him. He came home on both occasions but for some reason he's done it again only this time I've ...
A. 27 July 2017: Things won't improve.
He's set the precedent now. He's right, he's not good enough he's wasting your time. Let him waste someone else's, block him and move on.... (read in full...)
He blows hot and cold. Should I tell him I like him?
Q. I really want to tell this guy how he makes me feel but I'm scared I'll scare him off because he is sometimes hot and cold with me... When we talk we connect although he asks me things about myself, when I ask him he doesn't reply, he continuous...
A. 27 July 2017: You're in the 30-35 age bracket, I think you should be past the stage of being scared to tell someone how you feel by now.
Are you planning on carrying on this what if scenario forever? Or finding out where you stand to either progress the situ... (read in full...)
Will he contact me?
Q. So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he ...
A. 27 July 2017: I'm sure he can replace the shorts.
He's showing exactly why you're doing the right thing in moving on.... (read in full...)
My married lover has been conflicted lately. What is next?
Q. Hi. I'm not looking to be judged. I am just looking for some good, sound advice as this situation is not one you can discuss openly. And as happy as it can be, it can also be difficult and very painful. I am not sure how to address this. I hope you ...
A. 27 July 2017: Why would he stop having sex with 2 women until he gets caught?
Stop calling this a relationship, it isn't a relationship, you're someone who's helping their husband cheat, nothing more, nothing less.
Even if he did leave his wife for you (wh... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend accept his team leader's offer of money?
Q. My boyfriend started his job about seven months ago and his team leader at work fancys him a bit but knows about me, however she's offered to give him 50 quid towards a pair of trainers, now to ms I feel he shouldn't except this offer because she ...
A. 27 July 2017: I agree with YCBS.
I'd expect he has some kind of reasoning behind this offer. Personally I'd never accept such a random offer from someone you don't really know. It's not like he's friends with this woman, simply work colleagues.
You really ha... (read in full...)
How is the best way to deal with social media and ex partners?
Q. My partner and i separated about 4 weeks ago. We had been together 4 years. The break up was horrible. He called me one day at work told me he cheated on me then dumped me...i was in shock because i had no idea anything was wrong.im still hurting. ...
A. 26 July 2017: Of course it's not a big deal to them. It didn't happen to them.
Do whatever will make things easier for you. Making a new Facebook is definitely not a sign of a breakup consuming your life, if anything it's starting a fresh and taking a step in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't have sex with me. Why?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now so it is still pretty fresh. At first we never had problems with having sex and then the past few weeks I've noticed he just doesn't seem that interested. There would be small excuses from can't ...
A. 26 July 2017: Sounds like you're sexually incompatible.
You probably think it sounds like a poor reason to break up with someone but it's completely valid. If you didn't match personality wise you'd break up right? So if you don't match in other areas too then... (read in full...)
How is the best way to deal with social media and ex partners?
Q. My partner and i separated about 4 weeks ago. We had been together 4 years. The break up was horrible. He called me one day at work told me he cheated on me then dumped me...i was in shock because i had no idea anything was wrong.im still hurting. ...
A. 26 July 2017: Why would your friends advise you not to make a new account? Makes no sense at all. If you don't have time/don't want to delete everything then your only options are make a new account or keep in contact with friends by alternative means.... (read in full...)
I forgave him after his betrayal, but how can I warm this love up again?
Q. I am 27, yet still so naive in love. I will try to make this as short as possible. Both times when being betrayed, I never had a doubt because he was still treating me as good as we used to be. 6 months ago, my bf had feelings for a gir...
A. 26 July 2017: Don't ever use someone else to get over an ex.
That's very selfish and really unfair on the person. Block your ex, delete him off all social media and move on. If he still manages to contact you, then log all of the attempts, keep proof and take... (read in full...)
My married lover has been conflicted lately. What is next?
Q. Hi. I'm not looking to be judged. I am just looking for some good, sound advice as this situation is not one you can discuss openly. And as happy as it can be, it can also be difficult and very painful. I am not sure how to address this. I hope you ...
A. 25 July 2017: He's feeling that way because he's cheating on his wife.
It's not hard to work out. He knows it's wrong therefore he has these feelings of let's call it 'remorse'. Though it's not strong enough to stop him sleeping with you.
Let's get rea... (read in full...)
He's fun but I'm feeling used
Q. Hi everyone. This divorced - with - 2 - kids guy I met described himself as financially comfortable but I am always paying and he says he 'would pay if he could/ will pay next time/when a big deal comes through? When I asked whether he would...
A. 25 July 2017: As Honeypie said, if you feel used then you're the only person who can stop it.
If you're not happy, tell him.
Simple.... (read in full...)
I forgave him after his betrayal, but how can I warm this love up again?
Q. I am 27, yet still so naive in love. I will try to make this as short as possible. Both times when being betrayed, I never had a doubt because he was still treating me as good as we used to be. 6 months ago, my bf had feelings for a gir...
A. 24 July 2017: Come on, be serious here.
You've caught this man twice speaking to another woman. Not just trying to speak to her, using fake identities and going to bizarrely creepy lengths to speak to her. Is that seriously not raising a red flag with you?
... (read in full...)
Will he contact me?
Q. So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he ...
A. 24 July 2017: You never told us what you said in the text so it's a little hard to gauge whether his response was out of order or not.
Sounds to me though like this guy is a dead end, not sure how you can ignore someone that you're in love with. Take his sile... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
