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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Will he contact me?
Q. So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he ...
A. 27 July 2017: I'm sure he can replace the shorts.
He's showing exactly why you're doing the right thing in moving on.... (read in full...)
I forgave him after his betrayal, but how can I warm this love up again?
Q. I am 27, yet still so naive in love. I will try to make this as short as possible. Both times when being betrayed, I never had a doubt because he was still treating me as good as we used to be. 6 months ago, my bf had feelings for a gir...
A. 26 July 2017: Don't ever use someone else to get over an ex.
That's very selfish and really unfair on the person. Block your ex, delete him off all social media and move on. If he still manages to contact you, then log all of the attempts, keep proof and take... (read in full...)
I forgave him after his betrayal, but how can I warm this love up again?
Q. I am 27, yet still so naive in love. I will try to make this as short as possible. Both times when being betrayed, I never had a doubt because he was still treating me as good as we used to be. 6 months ago, my bf had feelings for a gir...
A. 24 July 2017: Come on, be serious here.
You've caught this man twice speaking to another woman. Not just trying to speak to her, using fake identities and going to bizarrely creepy lengths to speak to her. Is that seriously not raising a red flag with you?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been texting a past hook up!
Q. I have been dating this guy for a few months now and we are crazy about each other. We have been exclusive for a while, but I saw the other day that he has been texting with a girl he has hooked up with before. They have been friends for 10 years, ...
A. 24 July 2017: I agree with YCBS.
What right do you have to dictate who he can and cannot speak to? How long ago did they hook up? If over the course of 10 years they've only hooked up shows they weren't good for each other anyways.
As long as his messaging... (read in full...)
Will he contact me?
Q. So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he ...
A. 24 July 2017: You never told us what you said in the text so it's a little hard to gauge whether his response was out of order or not.
Sounds to me though like this guy is a dead end, not sure how you can ignore someone that you're in love with. Take his sile... (read in full...)
What now? We were hanging out together a lot and I got her free lift tickets and helped her get gear!
Q. I have been hanging out with a girl for 6 months. I moved to town a year ago and was looking to meet new people.. so I come along and offer to take her skiing. Help her get gear, free tickets and we go. Skied a couple of times hang out and life is ...
A. 24 July 2017: Because she isn't interested in you like that it's pretty simple.
Don't you think if she were she would jump at the chance of spending time with you? Also don't think for one second just because you do things for a woman that she owes you her time... (read in full...)
Was he just being an ex, and was he using me?
Q. Hi thanks for reading guys I need advice. On wed me and my ex spend the night together, we went for a meal a few drinks and was best night we ever had, he was so loving told me he can't imagine his life without me. Was incredible met some of his ...
A. 23 July 2017: He is an ex for a reason, why revisit it? There was a reason that you broke up in the first place so why would you fall back into the old routine and possibly get yourself started in an on/off relationship?
If someone wants to speak to you, the... (read in full...)
We've already decided we are going to break up eventually. Should we just do it now?
Q. I'm with someone I love dearly and we have almost been together for two years. Both of us are cautious about fully committing because of curiosity about other romantic options. I'm willing to stay and see where things go, but he is for sure ...
A. 23 July 2017: I think you made the right decision.
Doesn't sound like either of your hearts are in it. You don't just half assed decide to keep dating for the next year because you can't be bothered to meet anyone else. You shouldn't NEED someone in your lif... (read in full...)
Should I let him go? or see what happens?
Q. I met this guy last year while I was drunk eating pizza after clubbing with my friend (typical party girl scene) now I never took this guy seriously I'd always ignore his texts, or keep conversations small, sometimes he'd ask to hang out but I'd ...
A. 22 July 2017: Yeah I don't feel there's a great deal of info but it sounds to me from what you've described that he's just interested in something casual. If he's a professional sports star then he probably gets a lot of female attention and is just looking for ... (read in full...)
Can't understand what kind of relationship I'm in
Q. I have known my friend for over a year. He has been doing little things. 1: Can you be out by a certain time? 2: I have my own place but still living with him. 3: He said he wanted to tell me something but then stops and pauses and says never mi...
A. 18 July 2017: Instead of asking us, why don't you ask him?
None of us could possibly tell you what he's thinking. We could only speculate which would leave you no closer to having an answer.... (read in full...)
8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 18 July 2017: I agree with the others.
I'd dump him also, for these accusations to come out is absolutely crazy. You have done nothing wrong from what you've told us and I don't think he will ever drop this against you. He's treating you like some kind of crimi... (read in full...)
Why has he not met me yet?
Q. There's this guy I like.... so he keeps making plans to meet me then goes quiet for the before and day of. Why, does he not really like me? Does he really like me and is nervous? We seem to get on well over text and phone and social medi...
A. 17 July 2017: Pretty simple, stop letting him waste your time.
If he wanted to meet you he would do, no ifs ands or buts.... (read in full...)
Can you stay friends after having a one night stand?
Q. About a month ago, I met a guy on a dating site. We would talk from night to morning every day. I kind of like him, but he rarely talked about himself. I was curious about him; therefore, I checked on him on Facebook and found out that he has a ...
A. 17 July 2017: The friendship is over.
You both want different things and you've completely blurred the lines now by having sex. If you pursue a friendship then you're being completely unfair on this guy because he's always going to want more and in the back of ... (read in full...)
Do I pick my FWB or the girl I was dating?
Q. Hi all. In much need of some help to sort out this insanity I've found myself in. So I've been in a friend's with benefits relationship with a woman for 2 years now. She's actually become my very best friend. But I also have a girl who is supe...
A. 17 July 2017: Neither of these are right.
You don't just decide to 'give it a go' with someone. What a half assed attitude. If you want to be with someone it isn't a choice, it's something you do without hesitation and you want to shout it from the rooftops... (read in full...)
think they are way too secretive and just honestly don't want them anywhere near each other!
Q. Okay so before me and my bf were dating he had a crush on my best friend but nothing ever happened because he was actually dating someone else. We winded up dating about a yr later. We were kind of like a trio before our romance started but as time...
A. 17 July 2017: I'm with anonymous.
Your BF has given you the options that you can choose from, either suck it up, break up or stop hanging out with this 'best friend'.... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's in contact with my colleagues?
Q. I used to work with a bloke and have texted him a few times, he doesn't respond and yet I sense that he is in contact with other people he worked with but not me. Before he left he made out that he wanted to keep in touch but instead ignores me ...
A. 17 July 2017: I'm pretty sure you've been here before asking about this.
Why do you care? Honestly?
What difference does it make to your life whether he contacts you or not? If what you're saying is true then there's obviously a reason why he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Things were good until his ex' got involved
Q. I met a guy online in January who is a really great guy. He's a bit older than me but that doesn't bother me. He's 37,I'm 27. We spoke for about 3 weeks before we met for real. We got on instantly and after a few weeks, we began spending more and ...
A. 16 July 2017: What a waste of time.
Wouldn't give him another second of my time, on what planet does he think it's acceptable to think it's fine to pick you up and then drop you whenever he feels like it?
So what if his ex needs help? Why is it his problem? ... (read in full...)
I can't believe that after all his drama, HE dumped me! I need closure. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys! Just need a little advice at the moment! Hope you can help! I met a guy at my job that I started dating.. before anyone says "Don't date people you work with".. I usually don't, and I only made an acception because he works in anot...
A. 13 July 2017: What other kind of closure can you get? The relationship has ended and for very good reason.
You don't need anymore from this man, he sounds like an absolute waste of space and you should be happy to be rid of him. He did you a massive favour b... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to take back my ex in a month or two?
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 13 July 2017: You posted here the other day.
You received good advice so it's very clear that you're waiting for someone to say 'yes, give him another chance'.
I'm afraid that isn't going to happen. You guys broke up for a reason, leave this relationship in ... (read in full...)
Should I send one last txt?
Q. Hi all. I rarely get dates so was well excited when i finally got one. The guy said he felt a connection before we met i held back because i didnt want to put all my feelings on him and get hurt. The date was great we did have a few drinks and went ...
A. 12 July 2017: Nope. I wouldn't bother there's really no need.
What if he doesn't even reply to it? You'll probably feel a bit stupid and the situation just doesnt need it. You have your closure he told you that you're not right for him, surely that's enough? ... (read in full...)
How much space do I need to give this guy?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a while, but so far it hasn't really gone anywhere and I think it's because I've been putting too much pressure on him to have a relationship. We really like each other, get on really well, have loads in common and have a ...
A. 12 July 2017: Why would you WANT to keep hearing from him?
He doesn't want a relationship with you, he has told you this himself how much clearer does he need to be?
You're both on completely different pages and the longer you speak to this guy the more and... (read in full...)
Should I try and see what happens with him or do I let it go? Thoughts!
Q. So at the end of last year, I was hanging out with my (70 year old- looking like 50 aunt) LOLLL, and we went to pick up her granddaughter, but before we went to ta gas station and cafe, a very nice spot which happened to be in front of her ...
A. 12 July 2017: What do you have to lose?
Ask him out for a drink or something to eat and go with it.... (read in full...)
How can you distinguish when someone is in to you?
Q. How can you distinguish when someone is into you? I am gay and not the most confident of people, I don't typically look gay and it's not something one drops into the conversation!! What I am trying to say is, it's so much easier for straight peo...
A. 12 July 2017: What else can you do besides be upfront and ask her out?
She either accepts or says she's not interested/she's straight. The longer you beat around the bush the longer youll be wondering.... (read in full...)
I want him back but I don't think my family and friends will like it
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 12 July 2017: Yes you would be stupid.
He wanted another woman, it didn't work out with her so now he wants you (second best) back. Why would you possibly want to go back to someone who is settling for you?
You made a decision to leave him for valid reason... (read in full...)
Is it that bad I really feel down about it?
Q. This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...
A. 11 July 2017: People learn at different speeds. Some people get the hang of things really quickly whereas others don't. It's not really anything to worry about.
You will be in for your test and passed soon enough, why the rush? Take your time and as long As ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my depressed boyfriend who will not get help?
Q. I have been with my partner just short of four years and I can confidently say he was the love of my life. I say was because now he is suffering with depression and will not seek help. He got diagnosed with this in 2013 and stopped taking tablets ...
A. 10 July 2017: Yes, leave immediately.
You can't help someone that won't help their self. You are not his carer, you are supposed to be his GF and you don't feel like that anymore.
You have tried your best but it is not up to you to sort his life out, that i... (read in full...)
What to expect in relationship after 10 years?
Q. Hi, I need some perspective on my relationship. I want to know if it is expected that after 10 years should romance fade? Should I still be feeling lovey dovey or should I just be feeling bland and monotonous? Should I still be excited? Does ...
A. 7 July 2017: Have you told him?
If you're just thinking this in your head and you haven't told him how are you expecting him to know you're unhappy? I doubt he's a mind reader.
As far as he's concerned you're perfectly happy with he situation that y... (read in full...)
How can anyone be so busy they cannot talk with their lover for 5 days in a row?
Q. its been 5 days since we saw each other.And will not able to see for another 6 months cuz she is nepal and me in india. we havent been able to talk or chat nicely. she is busy right now. goes clz 6am to 11am. and work from 12pm to 6pm. then she is i...
A. 6 July 2017: Can you really see yourself doing this for 6 months?
You're struggling after 5 days. It's not worth either of your time, break up and find someone closer.... (read in full...)
He's asking about people I've slept within the past 2 years!
Q. I've recently got into a relationship with a guy i've been seeing on and off for a long time. We've only been together a couple of months officially but he's began to ask about people i've slept with over the past two years. He's quite insecure as ...
A. 6 July 2017: Absolutely none of his business.
If you don't want to talk about it then don't. I can't see there being a positive outcome from discussing your previous sexual partners.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should go on a third date with him!
Q. I recently met a guy on a dating app and we have gone on two dates. We spoke once over the phone for two hours and he doesn't really text and doesn't call me at all. However, he is always making plans ahead by asking me at the end of each date when ...
A. 6 July 2017: I don't see where you're coming from here.
He asks you lots of questions and is actively seeking further dates with you. How is that not looking interested?
He very clearly told you that he's not a texter.
I think the main thing here is w... (read in full...)
Does this mean he just wants casual sex?
Q. There's this guy who used to work with my dad, who's a few year younger than me but we seemed to get on. Every time I went into his work (a pub) he seemed to be having the usual barman banter and fun with me (sometimes he'd go a little further ...
A. 5 July 2017: Did you mean to say 'casual fun'?
If so then yes, he wants nothing more than sex.... (read in full...)
Trivial Fights getting out of control
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had our ups and downs. When it is good it is REALLY good. The passion is high. We share a lot and are similar in many ways. But we have had our share of down-at-the mouth fights. Somehow we ...
A. 4 July 2017: I'm with the others.
The only logical explanation I can think of someone reacting this way to something so minuscule is to make you want to break up with him. How on earth could he think it's acceptable to leave you at the place of your holiday?... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I have no experience with women what-so-ever?
Q. I'm an honest guy. I like to tell the truth. I'm thinking about pursuing a specific girl in my life who seems to like me. Would it be wise to tell her that I'm "love-shy" (really really really bad with women)? I feel like it would take a huge load ...
A. 3 July 2017: Personally, I wouldn't mention it.
Like janniepeg said, confide in friends. Why tell her? You get experience by going out and doing things. Just roll with it and see what happens, if it doesn't work out the you have learned things for next tim... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend's girlfriend.
Q. why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...
A. 3 July 2017: Come on man be serious. You're over 50 years old, surely you know right from wrong when it comes to relationships?! Were you seriously expecting someone to tell you 'yes go right ahead and try and steal your friends gf'?
Find someone who is UNATT... (read in full...)
Would you feel left out if your comments on social media were not commented on?
Q. Would you feel left out if work colleagues commented on on everyones social media posts but yours? Why/why not? I know it's stupid butsocial media is part of life now. Feel unwanted....
A. 1 July 2017: You're right, it is stupid.
How do people let social media become this important?
I think physical relationships are MUCH more important and if you feel the other way around then I think you need time away from Facebook.... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex-roommate will want to date me again if I put zero pressure on him?
Q. So I dated my roommate for a year. It never progressed very far because every time I put pressure on him (which I have a habit of doing) he freaked out and pulled away. We really liked each other though so I always assumed the problem was living ...
A. 30 June 2017: Nope,
He doesn't want to date you, it's really that simple. If he wanted the same things as you there would be no 'pressure'.
You're just making yourself look more and more desperate if you persist. He has very clearly told you he wants a f... (read in full...)
He always manages to bring up sex in a conversation. Is he just horny? Or does he want something from me?
Q. There is this guy I know. We are friends, but fairly new friends for the past 3 or so months. He is a really nice guy, very easy to talk to. Whenever we talk, he always tells me personal things about himself. I'm talking really personal things that ...
A. 30 June 2017: Yes, he wants to have sex with you. I don't see any other reason why he would keep bringing this up.... (read in full...)
What's going on? I am confused why my partner is now an issue.
Q. I need some objective clarity. So here goes. When we were teens, say 16 years ago, he had a major crush on me and we went out a few times. I never reciprocated because I guess there weren't any feelings there, and I distanced myself from him. He ...
A. 29 June 2017: It's all well and good saying he doesn't want to be a home wrecker, but I would have the same reaction as your BF. Fair enough you have male friends but I think this guy may be starting to take the piss a bit and I'd also start getting slightly ... (read in full...)
We both have partners but workmate is flirting
Q. Hi everyone. I'm writing about an issue I have at work with regards to a co-worker. I work in a pub so it is a very relaxed atmosphere. I get on with all my co-workers, both male and female. However, there is one particular co-worker who...
A. 29 June 2017: Would you like your BF being like this with another girl?
Highly doubt it. Either stop what you're doing or break up with your BF.
Why does his plan matter? Are you both thinking about cheating?... (read in full...)
Things changed when my BFF got a girlfriend.
Q. I'm really hurt. My best friend C and I have been bffs for 5 years. We've had our share of ups and downs, but always managed to get through it and remain close as we were before. He'd been into me, like, majorly into me for 2 years. He said he was ...
A. 29 June 2017: No, because this isn't a friendship anymore. It stopped being that when you guys started dating. He is with someone else now and you obviously still have feelings for him.
It's not worth the hassle and heartache that it will cause. I know it sucks... (read in full...)
He keeps staring at me. Does that mean something?
Q. So here is my story. I encountered a guy at my university whom I have posted about before. I caught him staring at me when I was buying something at the student bar shop. He was sitting right behind us and I saw him look at me couple of times. This ...
A. 29 June 2017: Yes I think I remember you asking this question.
Why haven't you been able to talk to him? Did your tongue fall out your mouth at the exact moment that you tried to?
Someone looking at you is absolutely not something you can gauge off whethe... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend's girlfriend.
Q. why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...
A. 29 June 2017: All I can say is you're not a great friend if you're trying to come up with ways of dating your friends GF.
Even if they do break up do you seriously think your friend would be impressed if he found out you started dating his ex? You need to find ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend did nothing for me on my 21st birthday and says I'm stupid if I expect things to be romantic
Q. so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is. 25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over bec...
A. 28 June 2017: Wow, sorry I couldn't help but laugh when you included his age.
28 years old? It sounds like you were describing a child. I really don't know how you think this is a functional, normal relationship. You know what? I don't blame him for treating... (read in full...)
Boyfriend did nothing for me on my 21st birthday and says I'm stupid if I expect things to be romantic
Q. so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is. 25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over bec...
A. 26 June 2017: Do you not think you deserve better?
If you have any self respect you would leave this lazy ass bum and find someone who knows how to treat a woman correctly.... (read in full...)
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